What is the best way to say this?

"ever scratching" IMO doesn't work. The 2nd ones better.

If you're just getting back into writing after a break, don't let perfectionism stop you getting into the momentum of writing. You have unlimited attempts to go back and edit what you've written. If I'm really really stuck, I'll put a note in brackets about what I want to go there and move on to the next bit. At some point when doing rereading/editing I find a way to fix it.

Stay simple. Say what you mean. 'Ever scratching' doesn't work for me either.

Brief descriptions usually flow without too much effort. If you're struggling with a description, leave it and go back later as suggested by neandermagnon.

"constant scratching" and I'd also say "pen on [the/his] paper." "Pen to paper" really only works for the act of "putting pen to paper" which is kind of an old cliché-phrase.

She could hear the scratch of each stroke of the man's pen to the paper; the brush of his hand as it moves across to start the next line.

Seconding the idea of scrapping the filter. Of course she could hear it--otherwise we're into "a tree falling in the forest" territory. Once you're past that, you have room to add some emotional content.

Other possibilities:

Scratch, scratch, scratch. The old man never stopped scribbling, and the dry sound filled the tiny room.

Or:

At one point she cracked open an eye, and reassured by the diligent scratch of pen across paper, drifted back to sleep.

Sorry--maybe not what you wanted to hear. If I have to choose between 1 and 2 above, 2 is better, IMO. : )

Try focusing on the effect the noise has on her instead of focusing on explaining to us that she hears the noise.

POV is important.

If you are in Third Person Limited POV we know she heard it because if she didn't hear it you couldn't mention it at all.

Maryn said:

I'm also noting that "she could hear" filters the experience instead of delivering it to the reader without an intermediary. If this were my sentence, the scratching would be the sentence's subject.

Maryn, leaving the decision to you

Click to expand...

I was going to comment on the filtering language, but Maryn got in ahead of me.

Also adding to the chorus of not worrying too much about the quality of your prose for the first draft. It is oft said that perfection is the enemy of finished. Mayhap in revision that phrase you are agonising over will be surplus to requirements.

She heard the incessant scritch-scratch of quill on paper.
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