The thing about being homeless is...

David Penchyk

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...you no longer have any of your Stuff. None of the notebooks you scribbled in, none of your old computer discs or drives, none of the clippings you proudly kept after you were published in a hobby magazine. And none of your books: none of the novels — the paperbacks, the hardcovers, the ones you had signed by a favourite author — none of the role-playing game rulebooks, none of the uplifting self-help books. None of the writing advice books, either.

Now, with a secure and stable roof over my head, I've been daring to begin again. Not necessarily to acquire Stuff; that is transitory. I had to ask myself my worth as a person, as a person in society, as an artist. Well, I thought: I am a Writer, and therefore I shall Write.

Only I didn't write. With fewer distractions available, it was glaringly obvious. My avoidance and procrastination was — I want to call it "pathological," but that might be extreme. Then a friend linked on Facebook to a Dean Wesley Smith article about writers "invested in not writing." It explained a lot of what I'd been doing with a "writing to market" novella that has been an albatross around my neck (or is it a millstone? Hm... an albastone? A millbatross?). I started it four years ago, in the months before my wife passed away.

At 16,000 words, I could build it up to 20k, I figured (as NaNoites sped around me). That'd be a minimal product to test the waters. Would it be acceptable to readers, I wondered?

I showed the opening to an editor, and my delusions of adequacy came crashing down.

So after thirty years of writing/not writing, I am starting again as a beginner to learn how to create stories. I wonder if I have any stories to tell. (I want to write science fiction and fantasy, but some of my strongest work is nonfiction; I feel like a rally car driver envying the guys on the motorcycle racing course.)

I am going to ask for, and intend to take, advice meant for someone learning to write again.
 

ConnorMuldowney

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I cannot imagine. I have such a hard time throwing away old drafts and notes, even if I look at it and know that some of it isn't usable. To be left with nothing, none of your written immortalizations of your ideas, that sounds like a unique kind of Hell. Huge props for being able to get out of a hole like that, I'm not sure I would have been able to.
 

druid12000

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I can relate to your situation, and wish I had some pithy advice to give. I have burned down my life a couple of times and in the process lost all notes, beginnings, scribblings, poems...sigh. But I still have much of it in my head. I've been writing several stories in my mind for decades.

Oh boy can I relate to having plenty of time to dedicate to writing and then not doing so. I'm making a more concerted effort this time around to be more disciplined but it's a tough habit to break and just as tough to form the new one.

I had a friend tell me years ago that I had a gift and if I didn't use it then it was a waste. I held onto that and beat myself with it for years. Now, I'm trying to nicer to myself. When I do write, I enjoy it. There's no pressure or deadlines. Because I'm writing for me and if that's as far as it goes then that's great. If it goes further, that's also great.

The best advice I have been given in recent years is, simply, try to see the world through the eyes of a child. One that hasn't been imprinted with other's ideals or habits. Be genuine.

I wish you the best and if you need someone to read what you've written, I would be delighted.
 

regdog

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Welcome to AW




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Maryn

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Welcome to you--perseverance for the win, right?

One small bit of advice: Get yourself a free DropBox account (or any of its competitors). Save what you write, good or bad, to DropBox before you close the document. (If you're on your own computer with a stable internet connection, you can make this all happen automatically.) Text doesn't take up much data compared to music, images, or video, so the free level should be able to hold everything you could possibly write for years. Without having a physical thing you need to safeguard and take with you, your writing will be saved safely in the cloud, waiting for your return, as well as on whatever device you write with.

Maryn, pleased to see you starting strong
 

TylerJK

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Welcome, and what a powerful story. Some say that when we are broken down it is a chance to rebuild into something even greater. I hope the site is useful for you and I hope I get the chance to read your work at some point.
 

cmhbob

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Friend, you lost your wife four months ago. Anything in teh last four months (at a minimum) is forgiven. You're likely still grieving for her, even if you don't realize it. This last year in general has been pretty hellish for creatives.

My lifeadvice is to be gentle with yourself for a while longer. If you can find the wherewithal to put a few words down here and there? Great! That's a few more words than you had the day before. If not? That's okay, too.

Read. If you've got a library card, sign up for Hoopla and see if your library system uses it. (If you don't have a card, and have a steady address now, get a card.) You can get 10(?) free books per month. Some libraries also have their own apps, so you can double-dip, as it were. Read your SFF, but also read a bit in other genres to give you a variety of writing styles.

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
 

Vic20

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I'm not sure how much advice you'll need. What you've done here is a powerful little piece of writing in itself. I hope you just do more of it.