Hi there,
I'm writing an urban fantasy/police procedural, and one of my critiquers pointed out I don't have much of a personal investment in the investigation for my MC.
This is entirely true. She gets the file, works the job and does so with an amount of personal detachment that only thins after she's attacked by the BBEG in the 5th chapter.
This makes me feel like there isn't a defining 'inciting incident' because her life never changes from status quo. There's the murder, but it's her doing her job, and I don't know how to make the case personally important to her.
The things I'd normally consider would be her in danger of losing: Her job/Her life/Her relationships or something more abstract like the city/country/world is in danger.
Her job: I'd roll with that, but she ends the book on thin ice because of a number of very significant (and plot relevant) errors in judgement near the end of the novel. If I put her job on the line earlier in the book, I don't know why she wouldn't be fired. I could potentially make this work if I don't get any better options.
Her life: She gets attacked by the BBEG's agents in chapter 5, but before that she's not in any immediate danger. Heck, she sees it as a good thing since it gives her some goons to question. I could potentially shuffle her reaction around a bit, try and put the threat on her life into a wider spot-light, but it doesn't fit her 'hard boiled detective' character.
Her relationships: This does pop up later (chapters 18 and 21) where BBEG goes after her boyfriend and BFF in a bid to get her, but it isn't a pressing threat for the first half of the book (we're a 30 chapter ordeal presently) so it doesn't make sense for her to be too worried about it until these later chapters.
City/Country/World: This is supposed to be the first in a series, and the really world shattering stakes are things I'm saving for much later.
So, my question is: How do you get you're police detectives personally invested in solving their file of the week?
I'm writing an urban fantasy/police procedural, and one of my critiquers pointed out I don't have much of a personal investment in the investigation for my MC.
This is entirely true. She gets the file, works the job and does so with an amount of personal detachment that only thins after she's attacked by the BBEG in the 5th chapter.
This makes me feel like there isn't a defining 'inciting incident' because her life never changes from status quo. There's the murder, but it's her doing her job, and I don't know how to make the case personally important to her.
The things I'd normally consider would be her in danger of losing: Her job/Her life/Her relationships or something more abstract like the city/country/world is in danger.
Her job: I'd roll with that, but she ends the book on thin ice because of a number of very significant (and plot relevant) errors in judgement near the end of the novel. If I put her job on the line earlier in the book, I don't know why she wouldn't be fired. I could potentially make this work if I don't get any better options.
Her life: She gets attacked by the BBEG's agents in chapter 5, but before that she's not in any immediate danger. Heck, she sees it as a good thing since it gives her some goons to question. I could potentially shuffle her reaction around a bit, try and put the threat on her life into a wider spot-light, but it doesn't fit her 'hard boiled detective' character.
Her relationships: This does pop up later (chapters 18 and 21) where BBEG goes after her boyfriend and BFF in a bid to get her, but it isn't a pressing threat for the first half of the book (we're a 30 chapter ordeal presently) so it doesn't make sense for her to be too worried about it until these later chapters.
City/Country/World: This is supposed to be the first in a series, and the really world shattering stakes are things I'm saving for much later.
So, my question is: How do you get you're police detectives personally invested in solving their file of the week?