I'm trying to make clear to which character I'm referring when writing descriptive parts of a sentence. For context my MC, I'll call him John, is with two others Tom and Greg.
Tom, too, stayed focused on Greg, breathing in deeply through his nose, then exhaling steadily, relaxing his burly frame.
I'm describing Greg's breathing here, him calming himself down. Both John and Tom are keeping an eye on him. Is it clear I'm referring to Greg or could it read like it's Tom's breathing I'm describing? Can I fix it through punctuation?
An alternative I've been considering: Tom, too, stayed focused on Greg relaxing his burly frame—breathing in deeply through his nose, then exhaling steadily.
Would that be better?
Tom, too, stayed focused on Greg, breathing in deeply through his nose, then exhaling steadily, relaxing his burly frame.
I'm describing Greg's breathing here, him calming himself down. Both John and Tom are keeping an eye on him. Is it clear I'm referring to Greg or could it read like it's Tom's breathing I'm describing? Can I fix it through punctuation?
An alternative I've been considering: Tom, too, stayed focused on Greg relaxing his burly frame—breathing in deeply through his nose, then exhaling steadily.
Would that be better?