how to describe changing seasons

alpacinoutd · Oct 15, 2020

Hello.
I hope you are doing well. This is my first thread here and I'm excited. In my signature, I've explained my situation. So I'm going to ask my question:

I'm trying to describe the change of season in a desert area. This is what I have:

The relentless heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool. But this was desert and even Septembers refused to be pleasant. We still had to turn on the air conditioner in the car.

How do you think this can be made better?

Roxxsmom · Oct 15, 2020

I think this describes things pretty well, though the timid cool might not even be happening in Sept in many parts of the US. We had a nasty Sept heat wave here. I don't know if you're looking more for sentence structure feedback or feedback on the example you gave specifically. In general, it's good to paint a picture for people by describing something tangibly. Need to use the AC in the car in Sept is a good example of something tangible, though I'd argue that this is far from rare in many parts of the US. I live in central CA (almost a desert), and while the October nights are much cooler than they were even a month ago, we're still getting 90 degree days and the AC still kicks on in the house too occasionally.

But summer weather is running longer pretty much everywhere these days. Not sure when or where specifically your story is set.

URL="https://www.climatecentral.org/gallery/graphics/lingering-summer-warmth"]ot seasons are verifiably running longer in recent decades[/URL]

alpacinoutd · Oct 15, 2020

Roxxsmom said:
I think this describes things pretty well, though the timid cool might not even be happening in Sept in many parts of the US. We had a nasty Sept heat wave here. I don't know if you're looking more for sentence structure feedback or feedback on the example you gave specifically. In general, it's good to paint a picture for people by describing something tangibly. Need to use the AC in the car in Sept is a good example of something tangible, though I'd argue that this is far from rare in many parts of the US. I live in central CA (almost a desert), and while the October nights are much cooler than they were even a month ago, we're still getting 90 degree days and the AC still kicks on in the house too occasionally.

But summer weather is running longer pretty much everywhere these days. Not sure when or where specifically your story is set.

URL="https://www.climatecentral.org/gallery/graphics/lingering-summer-warmth"]ot seasons are verifiably running longer in recent decades[/URL]

Thank you very much for your answer.

As my signature says I'm not a native speaker of English but I'm absolutely in love with this gorgeous language.

The first thing I'm after is to make sure the collocations and sentences I put together are correct and they don't sound weird or unnatural. For example, I have doubts about the underlined parts:

The relentless heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool. But this was desert and even Septembers refused to be pleasant. We still had to turn on the air conditioner in the car.

I sometimes have a metaphor or a combination of words in my mind in my own mother tongue and I translate it to English. And I can't be certain if it works. For example I was really not sure if "timid cool" would work.

With respect to weather, if I change September to October, I think it would be correct about where I live. The weather becomes cool but not quite. That's why I used timid cool.

Woollybear · Oct 15, 2020

Going into an immersive experience is always worth considering.

The relentless heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool, and spaghetti straps replaced by t-shirts. But this was desert and even Septembers refused to be pleasant. We still had to turn on the air conditioner in the car, and the vinyl upholstery still clung to my thighs like demons clawing for a pound of my flesh.

IOW you are giving distant descriptives instead of the immediate experience of summer.

alpacinoutd · Oct 15, 2020

Woollybear said:
Going into an immersive experience is always worth considering.

IOW you are giving distant descriptives instead of the immediate experience of summer.

I appreciate your suggestion. I will certainly consider that.

- - - Updated - - -

Woollybear said:
Going into an immersive experience is always worth considering.

IOW you are giving distant descriptives instead of the immediate experience of summer.

I appreciate your suggestion. I will certainly consider that.

Lil · Oct 15, 2020

My suggestion (and bear in mind that this is only a suggestion) would be to have your characters react to the weather/climate rather than describing it directly.

MaeZe · Oct 15, 2020

I'll add two cents:

Keep in mind desert doesn't always mean hot.

The heat on the east side of the west coast mountain ranges in the US lasts into the night in summer, but come fall, evening temperatures are cool and in the winter, temperatures can go from 80+F on a winter's day to well below freezing at night.

Altitude also has a significant impact on those night temperatures. There are high deserts here where scorching day heat changes to freezing in the night.

You could play with that fact in your changing seasons.

alpacinoutd · Oct 16, 2020

Lil said:
My suggestion (and bear in mind that this is only a suggestion) would be to have your characters react to the weather/climate rather than describing it directly.

I see your point. For example, if it's hot the character would say something like, "I'm dripping in sweat. Could you turn on the A.C you cheap son of a gun."

Of course this is just an example.

But I have "the heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool."

How can I have my characters convey that by what they say or how they react?

MaeZe · Oct 16, 2020

It depends on the rest of the sentence: "the heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool..."

Jane had only barely stopped sweating from the summer heat and she wasn't convinced the relief this timid fall had to offer would be much better.

The worst of the summer's heat over, Jenny pulled the tiny room air conditioner out of the window and stored it in the garage for another year.

alpacinoutd · Oct 17, 2020

MaeZe said:
It depends on the rest of the sentence: "the heat of the summer had barely given way to a timid cool..."

Jane had only barely stopped sweating from the summer heat and she wasn't convinced the relief this timid fall had to offer would be much better.

The worst of the summer's heat over, Jenny pulled the tiny room air conditioner out of the window and stored it in the garage for another year.

Thanks.

angeliz2k · Oct 19, 2020

A lot depends on the tone and what you're trying to accomplish. As far as seasons passing, that's usually handled in a more distant, sweeping way. It sounds like you're trying to show the passing of time, in which case I don't think it makes sense to get too deeply into the characters physical experience of the weather. You can also be atmospheric and distant to set the scene, and that can often mean sweeping descriptions. Your narrator is reveling in the change of season.

The key is asking yourself why the change of seasons is significant, and what aspects of it your character(s) would notice.

how to describe changing seasons

alpacinoutd

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

alpacinoutd

Woollybear

alpacinoutd

Lil

MaeZe

alpacinoutd

MaeZe

alpacinoutd

angeliz2k

never mind the shorty