If your MC catches a cold, what would you write when he/she sneezes? Do you simply write "achoo"? Or do you describe the sneeze and just say they sneezed?
It's my MC first symptom that tells the audience that she's caught a cold after being out in the rain. It also has to be a loud sneeze which cause her horrible flatmate to complain by banging on the wall, and telling her to shut up. I wanted her and the audience to be suprised with the sneeze, so I thought writing "Achoo" and that would do it. But now I look back, it looks like naive writing.
What would you suggest? Or should I just stick with it?
I am writing a rom-com, so I can't be too serious with the language.
Thanks
It's my MC first symptom that tells the audience that she's caught a cold after being out in the rain. It also has to be a loud sneeze which cause her horrible flatmate to complain by banging on the wall, and telling her to shut up. I wanted her and the audience to be suprised with the sneeze, so I thought writing "Achoo" and that would do it. But now I look back, it looks like naive writing.
What would you suggest? Or should I just stick with it?
I am writing a rom-com, so I can't be too serious with the language.
Thanks