• Basic Writing questions is not a crit forum. All crits belong in Share Your Work

My character sounds like one person when it is in his POV and another when it is not his POV.

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
355
Website
mimistromauthor.com
As the title says, one of my four POV characters (Billie) sounds different when it's from his POV and when it's from another character's POV. My book is in close 3rd person, BTW.

In his friends' POVs he's snarky, secretive, carefree, and mysterious. In his POV, he's less snarky and carefree and not at all secretive or mysterious.

I was thinking this is okay, because the way Billie sees himself internally is different from how his friends see him. However, I'm having doubts now.

I think that it's okay if he isn't mysterious or secretive in his POV because I want to be upfront with the readers. But, what about him not really being snarky or carefree? Should he still be as snarky and carefree in his POV as he is in his friends' POVs?

I know this is a decision the author should make, but I could use some feedback and pointers. Thanks!
 

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 22, 2012
Messages
12,977
Reaction score
4,511
Location
USA
Website
brightdreamersbookreviews.blogspot.com
He should definitely not be (as) secretive in his POV - he's in his own head, so the reader should "see" more of his thought processes.

And people are often perceived differently by others than they seem to be themselves; the difference between their intentions/rationalizations and how others see their actions can add some nice tension. In his case, could be the "snarky and carefree" thing is a front, a mask he puts on around others. The reader would see behind that mask in his POV, but not from another's view.
 

ChaseJxyz

Writes 🏳️‍⚧️🌕🐺 and 🏳️‍⚧️🌕🐺 accessories
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
4,524
Reaction score
6,203
Location
The Rottenest City on the Pacific Coast
Website
www.chasej.xyz
What Brightdreamer said. The words coming out of the character's mouth should still be snarky if he's talking to the same people in the same situations. Like if he's snarky but doesn't talk a lot about himself at school, then he should still do that in his POV chapters. However, when he's home alone playing with his dog, he probably talks differently to his pet. We can see in his head that, perhaps, he's more comfortable in this situation and doesn't feel like he has to put on a tough-guy act, since his dog doesn't judge him like his friends might.
 

starrystorm

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,987
Reaction score
605
Age
24
Of course he should. He views himself differently than another person might. The other POV's might think he's snarky when he's really sarcastic or thinks he's funny.
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
355
Website
mimistromauthor.com
I've been thinking...I think he's snarky because he's afraid to be helpless and being snarky is his way of acting tough. Not sure if that'll change anyone's answer, but it was just a thought.
 

neandermagnon

Nolite timere, consilium callidum habeo!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
7,271
Reaction score
9,337
Location
Dorset, UK
Like everything, it depends on the execution, however I think this could potentially work really well. People often don't see themselves the way others see them. If you've shown in his POV that he's snarky because he's trying to act tough, but the other person doesn't see that and sees something else in the snarkiness, then that could work really well. :)
 

Cephus

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 1, 2018
Messages
259
Reaction score
66
You need to have a consistent vision of what your character is. It's fine that others see your character somewhat differently, but if it's jarring from other perspectives, then there's something wrong. Either your first character has a problem, or your other characters do.
 

Chris P

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
22,617
Reaction score
7,298
Location
Wash., D.C. area
I've been thinking...I think he's snarky because he's afraid to be helpless and being snarky is his way of acting tough. Not sure if that'll change anyone's answer, but it was just a thought.

I think it's a good opportunity to up the reader's interest in the character if you let us in on his reasoning during the time we're in his POV. For example, he might see himself as being funny and adding to the situation, and the others seeing him as a tedious bore. Then, we could see both how the other characters react to him through their POV, and how he responds to their reactions.

Work this, and see where it goes.
 

screenscope

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 5, 2005
Messages
681
Reaction score
78
Location
Sydney, Australia
That's one of the main reasons I write from multiple POVs. It's a terrific way of creating well-rounded, complex characters. The key is to ensure the reactions of the characters to each other is believable, even when very different to what those characters actually think about themselves.
 

Kalyke

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 7, 2008
Messages
1,850
Reaction score
182
Location
New Mexico, USA
This would indicate s/he is an unreliable narrator. If you pump up the volume on that, you could add another interesting facet to the book.
 

Animad345

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
782
Reaction score
95
Location
UK
I was just thinking about this the other day, and then I saw this thread title!

My novel has two POVs, 3rd person. MC1 is introspective and tentative. When I started writing from MC2's POV, MC1 seemed oddly confident and I wondered how I could be getting his character so wrong. When I looked back at the initial chapters, I realised that even though MC1 is often hesitant and thoughtful, you only really see this from his POV. If you narrow in on just the dialogue, he comes across as self-possessed and assured to others.

This is an interesting subject, for sure!
 

MythMonger

Willing to Learn
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
1,486
Reaction score
507
Location
Raleigh NC
This would indicate s/he is an unreliable narrator. If you pump up the volume on that, you could add another interesting facet to the book.

But which one is the unreliable narrator?

It's also possible for both POV's to be accurate even though they have completely different interpretations.