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Voice Block

lizmonster

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So, three years ago someone I trusted told me all my work was terrible and I lacked the skills to improve. That person is gone from my life, lots of people have told me they were full of ****, I have had contrary feedback from other trusted people, etc. etc.

I was, at the time they said that, writing another book which is now finished. That book is different than my other stuff in a few ways, most notably in voice. (I wrote it in first person present, which required a very different approach to character than my usual third limited.)

Now I'm trying to start something new. I have an idea, and a few scenes in my head; I'm rummaging around getting to know my MC.

But I can't write her. Every time I start putting words down, I start thinking "This is just like your other stuff which is terrible." I try to approach her differently, and it feels wrong, which is usually a sign I should go back to Plan A, but Plan A has me paralyzed.

Thing is, I know I'm not terrible. I do a Thing, and I do it pretty well. Other Book is different, but not that different, and I'm very proud of it. It has plenty of Thing in it.

So why can't I launch into this new story, just doing my Thing? Why do I feel like I need to do it a different way, when every time I try that I type-delete for an hour before giving up?

I kind of want to scream at myself, but I expect that won't work either. :whip:

Help?
 

Woollybear

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:Hug2:

I'm a newbie but it occurs to me you could switch genres for this new book, and that might be a cool way to silence your inner editor while also growing your toolkit.
 

Liz_V

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I don't have any useful suggestions, but I can offer sympathy, FWIW. I've had the experience of having the voices of people I know were just flat out wrong taking up so much space in my own head that my own words had a hard time getting through the noise. And no matter how much you tell those voices "No, you're full of crap, shut up and go away," it's hard to hear anything else, isn't it?

I've sort of gotten past it, mostly by time and sheer stubbornness. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not another train headed your way? And I've learned to be very careful about whose voices I let in there in future, though of course that doesn't help you right now.
 

RC turtle

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If it's your characters that seem too similar, maybe going through character trait questionnaires and comparing them will convince you they are different people.
 

lizmonster

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And no matter how much you tell those voices "No, you're full of crap, shut up and go away," it's hard to hear anything else, isn't it?

Sure is. Sigh.

I've sort of gotten past it, mostly by time and sheer stubbornness. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not another train headed your way? And I've learned to be very careful about whose voices I let in there in future, though of course that doesn't help you right now.

Yeah, there were a lot of tactical errors in that relationship. But now I need to be writing, and there's this absolute cement wall in my head.

If it's your characters that seem too similar, maybe going through character trait questionnaires and comparing them will convince you they are different people.

A good suggestion, but alas not the issue I'm facing. It's more how the book is written than the differences in character.

Which maybe doesn't make any sense? Dunno. I have a Style. I think that Style works well for my stuff. When I try to write New Book, my brain throws the words of That Person at me, and I second guess every letter. Is weird.
 

Woollybear

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So maybe the problem is not the writing, but the person?

What if they are right? As an exercise... what if they are right? Would you enjoy creating the world in your mind anyway, knowing they are right?

To be clear, I am not suggesting that they are right, but that insisting that they are full of crap might be do you more harm than good.

So they are right. So what? Write it anyway.

Hope that makes sense. It's a strategy.
 

ChaseJxyz

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Not everything is going to be everyone's cup of tea, there's always going to be someone who looks at something you made and think "Wow! I hate it!" But there's also going to be someone who'll say "Wow! This is my favorite thing, ever." If you write to appease the haters, then you're never going to tell a story that's yours. But if you write for those future readers who are absolutely going to love it, then you're going to make the best that-thing for them.

I know my queer characters are going to upset some people, and I'm fine with that, since I'm not writing for them. I'm writing so queer people can see someone like them in a story, or to maybe teach something to someone with an open mind that they hadn't considered before.

Even if this project doesn't end up being your best work, you're still going to learn things, which is good for you, and you'll make something some readers will really enjoy, which is the best possible outcome for any story, isn't it?
 

Kat M

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Total newb, grains of salt . . . etc.

I seem to remember you're a write-in-order person.

Have you tried to write the scenes you've got in your head, starting with ones you're excited about? Maybe even say to yourself that this isn't even a draft, just an exercise w/this idea, this MC, this voice? And if it's good, then you can just keep it?
 

Liz_V

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and I second guess every letter.

Oh gawd, that sounds so familiar! (Not weird at all, at least not to me. Makes perfect sense.)

Are you at all able to just type those letters anyway, no matter what the That Person in your head says, and not let yourself delete them? I get that it's hard, really hard, and probably slow and awkward and fundamentally unsatisfying, but maybe if you can force yourself to bull through it, it'll start getting a little easier.

(If you're a short-story-compatible writer, maybe try it with a short story first? So you're not "risking" a larger work?)
 

lizmonster

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Thanks, all. :) I like the short story idea. The only things I've started and finished since 2017 have been short stories, so maybe that will help.

The voice thing is weird, and I'm explaining it poorly. For those who read Charlaine Harris - when I first read her Harper Connelly books, I was struck by how very different they were than her Southern Vampire mysteries. That's...sort of? the difference I mean between my first three books and the Other Book I started in early 2017 (before that person's comments): the way the characters interact with the reader is Just Different.

I dunno. Maybe this book calls for yet something else. But I'm usually better at shoving aside that naysaying voice.
 

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*waves hands at 2020 and life in general right now* Everything is out of whack, why should this be any different? Be kind to yourself and your writing. You can always edit/trash/redo it later.
 

Kalyke

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I responded but my wi-fi cut out. What I said was that I totally sympathize because of my own mother, and actually no one in my family will even look at my work. I am "stupid" to all of them and anything I do is stupid. They do sort of equate writing to typing speed and spelling skills. Oh well. I also said that many people just don't like specific things. My dad only liked cops and robbers or pirates and westerns-- "manly literature" so to speak. My mother couldn't stand me on the principal. No one else in the family liked me at all. So for them, it was the person who was the writer, not the words-- but they were still stupid. I got kicked out of their house once. I traveled across the country to beg my mother to read a manuscript. She sat there as if I had kidnapped her. It was the most awkward thing.


After that, I refused to write for a while because I was convinced I was the worst writer in the world. My college professor said I was brilliant. Now that was overkill, but he kept inflating my balloon and my family kept popping it.

I suggest don't let anyone see your work ever unless they are readers with some knowledge of that specific genre. I mean, what kind of advice can you get out of a random person? "I like it" is not going to help you at all.
 
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Aegrin

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I'd leave this project for some time, save ideas for scenes and let it rest for now. In my case, reading (and re-reading) couple "voicy" books and shifting attention to other project helped rewinding my mindset.
 

Layla Nahar

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This is not a solution that offers much insight into the problem, and maybe you do these things already but - have you tried writing by hand? And then the other thing would be, writing in a different setting - in a park (because we don't have coffee shops and libraries these days...) and - you might not like this, but - write only a small amount and make a bargain with the voice that's shutting you down: "It's just once sentence. I'm going to write one sentence, that won't do any harm, and when I've done that we can go and do something else that you (meaning the critical voice) think we should be doing."

Yes, it's a little crazy to be bargaining with one's own brain...
 

katfeete

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Writing by hand as Layla suggests above was what broke me through a similar block. It feels much more personal, much less like something else anyone else can see. Plus, no delete key and no real way to edit as you go, which for me was a huge help in stopping me from second guessing myself into paralysis. ā€œIā€™ll fix it on the type-in, just keep goingā€ turned out to be the mantra that at least got my first draft on the page ā€” a sloppy draft, a bad draft, but one that had the feel and shape of the book I wanted to write.

Good luck. Itā€™s horrid this is happening to you. If it helps at all, I read your books long before joining AW, as they came out, and while I loved them all, I distinctly remember reading the third book and thinking, ā€œman, the first one was good and the second was better, but sheā€™s really hitting her stride with the pacing and the storycraft in this one.ā€ It did not in the least have the feel of an author whoā€™s settled into a rut, and while I havenā€™t seen any of your work past that I cannot imagine you havenā€™t continued improving your craft. That perhaps it wasnā€™t in the direction the person telling you that thought you should improve is their problem, not yours.
 

Kalyke

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I like the idea of writing by hand. I have been looking at tablets that change your handwriting into a print file so that it can be uploaded to your computer.
 

lizmonster

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The writing by hand thing is a good idea, isn't it? I may try that. Typed a mighty 85 words today before deleting it all. ARGH.

Also: Kalyke, I'm sorry you're in such an unsupportive situation right now. I hope you know you're not stupid - that's very clear. And I hope you keep writing. Don't let them take your voice from you.
 
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Liz_V

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Argh, indeed. /*offers you an adult beverage, if it'll help*/