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Seeking Assistance

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TrapperViper

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Hello,

I have spent the past year and a half writing an anti-war novel based in Afghanistan circa 2008-2009 (which has been heavily revised since my original posts on this forum). The story is told through the first person POV of a young protagonist who serves as a junior officer in the Army National Guard. In Afghanistan, the protagonist is placed on a small team made of up national guard soldiers from various states. The team is led by a highly esteemed active duty army Captain. Race is a sub theme of the novel.

I am halfway complete with the novel at 52k words. The midpoint ended in a "false victory" and the army Captain is about to leave the team and head home. Also, some of the soldiers on the team are about to get replaced by a new group of national guard soldiers from a different state.

I'm looking for someone who would be willing to read these first 52k words and let me know any and all feedback. On top of the usual requests for feedback (is it engaging, is the conflict clear, etc.), I am very interested in the following:

-Is the captain's character fully fleshed out?

-Are there areas or scenes in the novel that could better improve the character of the captain?

-Where and how can the dialogue be improved?

-How do you think the issue of race has been addressed within the first half of this novel, and are there areas for improvement?

With Smith about to exit the story but remain as the protagonist's mentor I want to make sure I have his character as strong as it can be at this point.

I'd also like to make sure I have a good foundation to carry me into the second half of Act 2 and through the climax and resolution.

I would be willing to reciprocate to any betas. Also, if anyone would like to read chapter excerpts first, instead of the whole 52k words, let me know.

If you are interested or have any thoughts please pm me. Thank you!

Thank you!

TV
 
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