Need help with a script (drama genre )

johnalia

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Greetings and salutations!

I'm sure most of you have heard and answered this question at-least zillions of times but I would ask just to refresh your memories. I have been trying to write a film script based on a true politically motivated story. I have the story, alas! in mind and no matter how much I try, I'm always coming with boring, sluggish dialogues. I'm not sure if it is because I already know the story or what but it is annoying. Therefore, I would like to hear your suggestions/opinions for improvement. Above all if you know any short book/novel/script that might enlighten my thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Best Regards,
John Alia
 

dpaterso

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Is there anything similar to your story that's already been made, that you could study and analyze? For example would watching a couple of seasons of The West Wing get you anything? Ditto Washington: Behind Closed Doors, if you can find it, based on John Ehrlichman's book, The Company. I don't know where your story takes place so I'm guessing wildly. But series like these are full of smart dialogue and characters wrapped up in political conflict and personal drama.

-Derek
 

johnalia

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Is there anything similar to your story that's already been made, that you could study and analyze? For example would watching a couple of seasons of The West Wing get you anything? Ditto Washington: Behind Closed Doors, if you can find it, based on John Ehrlichman's book, The Company. I don't know where your story takes place so I'm guessing wildly. But series like these are full of smart dialogue and characters wrapped up in political conflict and personal drama.

-Derek

Dear Derek, Thank you so much for your suggestion. Luckily, found both of the series and will definitely watch. The origin of my story is local i.e. Finnish and linked to brutal war against Iraq (hope it'll end your curiosity). Thank you again and stay well.

Regards, john
 

cornflake

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Greetings and salutations!

I'm sure most of you have heard and answered this question at-least zillions of times but I would ask just to refresh your memories. I have been trying to write a film script based on a true politically motivated story. I have the story, alas! in mind and no matter how much I try, I'm always coming with boring, sluggish dialogues. I'm not sure if it is because I already know the story or what but it is annoying. Therefore, I would like to hear your suggestions/opinions for improvement. Above all if you know any short book/novel/script that might enlighten my thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Best Regards,
John Alia


Think about your dialogue (every line) and how you can get it to do double or triple duty.

Every line, every scene, needs to move the plot forward. So if you have one scene where (I have no idea what your story is, just making something up randomly) a reporter talks to a source and gets important info, you may have the reporter just ask a question and the source say, 'the politician did this!' That's probably, as you suggest, boring.

Think about why you're having that source tell the reporter (why isn't the reporter finding it out on her own, or asking other people, and going to the politician, or six other things -- and remember you're not talking about a documentary, you can change or invent what you want even if it's based on a real thing.

Then, even if you decide the reporter needs to talk to that source, you can add in characterization (is the source reluctant, are they worried about something, are they eager to spill the details to get revenge, what's driving that?) and subplots (what is the reporter doing? How did they find the source? Does the reporter always go track down sources, or usually do research in a library? Are they used to talking harshly to politicians and has to change the approach to a source? Does the source remind them of someone or something?) or b-plots or other things.

Think about the point, the people, the backstory -- you can put all of that into a single line or two of dialogue. Instead of, '"Did you see PM Bob have sexual relations with the sheep?" you can say "I know you lived on a farm; I always do my research before I talk to someone -- your best friend your whole childhood was a sheep named Francisco. How could you stand by and watch Bob defile that innocent, wooly little girl?" <---ridiculous, on the fly.
 

johnalia

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Think about your dialogue (every line) and how you can get it to do double or triple duty.

Every line, every scene, needs to move the plot forward. So if you have one scene where (I have no idea what your story is, just making something up randomly) a reporter talks to a source and gets important info, you may have the reporter just ask a question and the source say, 'the politician did this!' That's probably, as you suggest, boring.

Think about why you're having that source tell the reporter (why isn't the reporter finding it out on her own, or asking other people, and going to the politician, or six other things -- and remember you're not talking about a documentary, you can change or invent what you want even if it's based on a real thing.

Then, even if you decide the reporter needs to talk to that source, you can add in characterization (is the source reluctant, are they worried about something, are they eager to spill the details to get revenge, what's driving that?) and subplots (what is the reporter doing? How did they find the source? Does the reporter always go track down sources, or usually do research in a library? Are they used to talking harshly to politicians and has to change the approach to a source? Does the source remind them of someone or something?) or b-plots or other things.

Think about the point, the people, the backstory -- you can put all of that into a single line or two of dialogue. Instead of, '"Did you see PM Bob have sexual relations with the sheep?" you can say "I know you lived on a farm; I always do my research before I talk to someone -- your best friend your whole childhood was a sheep named Francisco. How could you stand by and watch Bob defile that innocent, wooly little girl?" <---ridiculous, on the fly.

Thanks, cornflake! I will try to remember what you said.
 

frimble3

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And, keep the lines short - no 'info-dumps'. People interrupt, interject and stop because they don't want to admit too much.
Think about both sides of the conversation. Your journalist wants to get information. Your sources? Maybe they're trying not to give away any information, or maybe they're trying to sound like they're giving information, while editing out anything that could implicate themselves.
It's a dance.
 

Kevin_C_Vang

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Go and live with the character. That's how you develop a strong character. Also, you can find a real-life person you have met in life and apply it to that character. Two choices only.