So I had a bit of an epiphany a while back about my writing, and while it didn't really fix the problem I have, it at least gave clear context as to why I have it in the first place.
I've been a writer since about third or fourth grade, but I didn't really expand into writing longer-form fiction with plot, subtext, original characters, dialogue and the like until I was in my college years. I was interested in a particular fandom, and was invited by a friend to join a LiveJournal RP community. For those unfamiliar, the basic premise was that every player created an online journal to represent their original or canon character in the universe, and would 'play' by starting a single journal entry and adding comments, playing off of everyone else's reactions and words to create a (more or less) comprehensible stretch of writing. At its height, I could have multiple scenes ongoing, and have dozens of comments to respond back to in a day. It lasted for about three years before many of us went our own ways, but the experience was a fantastic immersion for me, an ongoing workshop in character voice, in shifting from dialogue to action, in adapting quickly to someone else's plot twists... everything.
However, I now see that it's also the source of one of my biggest weaknesses now that I'm writing solo. I'm now addicted to that immediate sort of feedback, of commentary, and it's at the point where I've been stalled on more than one major project for months. I'm not at the point where I think I'd feel comfortable handing any of them over to a beta-reader as all of them are only about 20-25% written, but I've stalled out in writing anything. Not to mention the last time I tried an official beta-reader, they stalled out and stopped responding about 2/3 the way through the MS. Multiple times I've tried sharing a few recent chapters with friends who read the same genre and writing friends whose opinions I value, just to check for readability and general positive/negative response, only to be universally met with crushing silence; I've heard nothing back from the most recent one (but only on that topic) for over a year. I'm feeling like I'm crippled for not knowing an answer to 'is this good?'; if it is, I can continue, and if it isn't, then at least I know I should rip it up and start again.
I've tried writing for myself (fizzled). I've tried writing something I would want to read (and now I've stopped reading for fun for months). I've tried staring at where I've left off for actual hours, and I cannot physically type any decent sentence to continue any one of seven different chapters, even if I've already sketched out the plot. I have ideas, I just don't know whether they're good or bad, so I don't know how to use them.
So. Is it worth it for me to just roll with this weakness and try to seek out a committed writing partner from scratch, or has anyone else suffered through this same problem and found a way to break the need for an immediate audience?
I've been a writer since about third or fourth grade, but I didn't really expand into writing longer-form fiction with plot, subtext, original characters, dialogue and the like until I was in my college years. I was interested in a particular fandom, and was invited by a friend to join a LiveJournal RP community. For those unfamiliar, the basic premise was that every player created an online journal to represent their original or canon character in the universe, and would 'play' by starting a single journal entry and adding comments, playing off of everyone else's reactions and words to create a (more or less) comprehensible stretch of writing. At its height, I could have multiple scenes ongoing, and have dozens of comments to respond back to in a day. It lasted for about three years before many of us went our own ways, but the experience was a fantastic immersion for me, an ongoing workshop in character voice, in shifting from dialogue to action, in adapting quickly to someone else's plot twists... everything.
However, I now see that it's also the source of one of my biggest weaknesses now that I'm writing solo. I'm now addicted to that immediate sort of feedback, of commentary, and it's at the point where I've been stalled on more than one major project for months. I'm not at the point where I think I'd feel comfortable handing any of them over to a beta-reader as all of them are only about 20-25% written, but I've stalled out in writing anything. Not to mention the last time I tried an official beta-reader, they stalled out and stopped responding about 2/3 the way through the MS. Multiple times I've tried sharing a few recent chapters with friends who read the same genre and writing friends whose opinions I value, just to check for readability and general positive/negative response, only to be universally met with crushing silence; I've heard nothing back from the most recent one (but only on that topic) for over a year. I'm feeling like I'm crippled for not knowing an answer to 'is this good?'; if it is, I can continue, and if it isn't, then at least I know I should rip it up and start again.
I've tried writing for myself (fizzled). I've tried writing something I would want to read (and now I've stopped reading for fun for months). I've tried staring at where I've left off for actual hours, and I cannot physically type any decent sentence to continue any one of seven different chapters, even if I've already sketched out the plot. I have ideas, I just don't know whether they're good or bad, so I don't know how to use them.
So. Is it worth it for me to just roll with this weakness and try to seek out a committed writing partner from scratch, or has anyone else suffered through this same problem and found a way to break the need for an immediate audience?
