Making readers care about an "off-screen" character

Flashbacks are, I think, tricky at best unless there's a plot-driven reason for them to be there.

But since you're in first person, you can make the reader care about the boyfriend by showing us how much your narrator cares about him. Because we care about her, the fact that saving him is important to her is enough.

This a challenge writers of successful murder mysteries encounter quite a bit, especially wrt detective stories—it can't be only the job that drives the detective; it has to be about the victim, too, and that's woven throughout the story with interactions & encounters with secondary characters and the suspects.

Was your FMC present when his soul/consciousness was shunted from his body or does she find out in another way? What is her reaction? How does she behave in the immediate aftermath—does she experience soul-searing despair? Show that. Does she pull herself out of that with anger and determination? Show that.

Does she "talk" to him throughout even though she doesn't know or think he can hear her? Use that to show what she loves about him so that your reader can love him for those qualities, too.

Are there other characters she seeks help from? Use her behavior and dialogue in speaking about him to show the depths of her emotions and her need to have him back.

If you can, try to save flashbacks for showing what led up to the inciting incident and his awareness of what's about to happen and/or his last thoughts of her as he's shunted out—or of your FMC's memory of the incident, if she was there.

Save flashbacks to sprinkle (sparingly) when your FMC is at her lowest ebb or "all-hope-is-lost" moment(s).

And you could show some tidbits of the boyfriend's personality by the protagonist maybe commenting on what his reaction or thoughts would have been if he were around during important parts of her journey. You could also express her sadness for not being able to share some of those experiences with him or how different they would be if he was present.

You say you don't have a lot of time, but do you have a little? The inciting incident isn't necessarily the first scene of the book if I remember my plot crafting correctly. Can you show their relationship with one powerful scene? I've often seen that done, and if done well it's heartbreakingly effective. After that, apply the better advice above.

I was considering numerous flashbacks to their dating life.

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Flashbacks can often IMO ruin a good story.

In my WIP, there is a (perhaps strange) relationship between the MMC (an ex-slave) and a large self aware AI arachnid - named 'Bubby'. The instigating event is a virus that shuts down all the systems, including MMC's spider friend. To bring in some of their history I have the MMC talking to the unconscious spider, hoping that the sound of his voice will bring him back.

A snippet (still in editing so this isn't the final version) goes like this:

He rapped on the spider’s body. “Are you in there?” No response. He sighed, then leaned back against his friend. Maybe Bubby could hear him but was unable to speak. Would talking to him bring him back?

“You gave me my name; do you remember that?” he began. “It was right after the first time… the first time they made me work. You asked me what was wrong, and I said that I wasn’t a person anymore.” The memory hurt, but he kept talking. “The drugs were wearing off, and I was crying like a baby… I couldn’t help it… it was the drugs. I had some bruises and cuts, but the worst of it was how ashamed I felt.”

There's more to it of course, but maybe you could try something similar?

I'd suggest placing objects and/or traditions in the story that show how much she loved him. She wants him alive--we want those we love, alive

An urn of his ashes (I mean, not that, because I bet he still has his body) or a memento from his moment of death, on the hall table. Maybe she has a charm bracelet and she adds a charm for every month that goes by without him. Maybe she goes to an organized ritual--like a balloon release at the cemetery--and talks with others about their loved deceased. Through those discussions, we come to know him. Maybe she can go through his e-files/letters/youtube channel/etc and from that, we see the man he was.

Those are the sorts of ideas I'd play with. Find some idea that really resonates with you and make it pack a punch. It's OK if in the end we care more about the girl than the boy--like Liz said--I don't think the reader will be analyzing it at that level. (Edit for clarity: I think if they care for the girl, you will be all right.)

If all fails, have a cat/kitten by the protagonist's side, and reveal the originally stray cat/kitten had been saved by the boyfriend. <--the famous 'save the cat' scenario.

PS: DO NOT get the cat killed by baddies and then the heroine seeks revenge!!!!!

Patty said:

I'd suggest placing objects and/or traditions in the story that show how much she loved him. She wants him alive--we want those we love, alive

An urn of his ashes (I mean, not that, because I bet he still has his body) or a memento from his moment of death, on the hall table. Maybe she has a charm bracelet and she adds a charm for every month that goes by without him. Maybe she goes to an organized ritual--like a balloon release at the cemetery--and talks with others about their loved deceased. Through those discussions, we come to know him. Maybe she can go through his e-files/letters/youtube channel/etc and from that, we see the man he was.

Those are the sorts of ideas I'd play with. Find some idea that really resonates with you and make it pack a punch. It's OK if in the end we care more about the girl than the boy--like Liz said--I don't think the reader will be analyzing it at that level.

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Readers don't analyze a text as another writer might, it's true, but readers do register emotional depth in a novel. If only subliminally. Without that emotional connection, your reader just won't care enough to keep reading. Restoring the boyfriend, in this case, has to matter almost as much to the reader as to the MC. I highly recommend The Emotional Craft of Fiction: How to Write the Story Beneath the Surface by Donald Maass to anyone who needs or wants to get better at adding emotional depth to their work.

So true!

What I was trying to say is if the readers care about the girl, they will care about her grief, and that is probably 'close enough' to caring about the boy.

Kat M said:

You say you don't have a lot of time, but do you have a little? The inciting incident isn't necessarily the first scene of the book if I remember my plot crafting correctly. Can you show their relationship with one powerful scene? I've often seen that done, and if done well it's heartbreakingly effective. After that, apply the better advice above.

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This was going to be my suggestion.

I have absolutely no problem with flashbacks in a novel - they are indeed a very valuable tool that is often used to great effect. I think, like prologues, they have been maligned by over / poor use. But when done well - and sprinkled delicately throughout the narrative rather than slapped on with a trowel - I think they could achieve the emotional depth you're looking for very efficiently.

I recently read a mystery — [URL="https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-will-and-the-deed”]The Will and the Deed[/URL], by Ellis Peters — with this exact problem: a woman dies in chapter one whose personality and life define the rest of the book. The first chapter is included in the sample and may be worth a read for you.

This was written in the 60s and the genre is different, but one big lesson I drew from this was, if you have one scene to establish a central character like this, make it a big one. In this case, the Antonia is on her deathbed. This lends weight to every interaction. In your case, I’d consider starting with some important moment in the relationship — one of those Big Relationship Arguments (are we going to move in together /get married/have kids, I got a job offer but I’d have to move, my parents need me to move home to take care of them, etc) or Big Relationship Moments (moving in together, proposal, etc) that tend to happen to everyone trying to form a partnership. Hard to match the impact of a deathbed scene, but you’d gain the frustration of something unresolved, a story that’s interrupted, that the reader will feel as strongly as the MC. And it will give your characters a chance to talk about something that’s important to them in the brief time they’ve got on the page, rather than wasting time on trivia.

Another lesson I took away: varied viewpoints. While it’s only set up in this first chapter, the people surrounding Antonia all have very different relationships with her: her oldest friend and artistic partner; her secretary of a year, who’s only known her old; her lifelong business manager and doctor; her niece, desperate for her money, and her niece’s son, forced by his mother to learn an instrument he hates purely so he can accompany the rich, old diva. The way they speak of Antonia to the eventual MC and to each other helps create her as a whole person in the reader’s mind. If you don’t already, I would put a lot of thought into other people besides your MC that the boyfriend has left behind, and what conversations they might have with her about him. What holes did he leave in the world around him that people — your MC, but also others — will need to deal with?

Finally, as Patty and others upthread have suggested, there’s physical memorabilia that can carry a great deal of weight. Pictures, gifts given by the boyfriend, things that were important to him and thus become important to others after he’s gone: these are ways to give the reader a sense that something precious has been lost to the world, and invest them in the quest to return it.

I agree that flashbacks can be problematic.

If you are going to use them, then maybe have the boyfriend show us why he is worthy of being loved. Maybe something to show his character. Maybe he does something that comes at a cost to him - maybe even a something that puts him in a major pickle that leads to the loss of his soul - the boyfriend does it anyway.