Adverbs vs other modifiers

Personally, I don't think there's much difference between "gratefully" or "with gratitude". If you are genuinely overusing adverbs I'd suggest a more fundamental rephrase. But first make sure that you actually are overusing them. You can't say "never use adverbs" without using an adverb. They're an important part of speech. Just make sure you're not using them to prop up weak sentences. If you are, strengthen the sentence.

You could show the gratitude: he grinned at the delivery driver as soon as he took the supplies out of the back of his van. "Thanks mate, you're an absolute legend!" But if it's not that important and such a tactic would disrupt the flow of the scene then "he accepted the supplies gratefully" is fine. Maybe prune a different adverb.

Well, I've never heard any rule against using adverbs. I guess I've been doing it wrong, woops. Lol, I suppose that unless you're using too many of them, there's no problem with having a few adverbs in your work. Variety is best in a lot of things, writing included.

neandermagnon said:

You can't say "never use adverbs" without using an adverb. They're an important part of speech. Just make sure you're not using them to prop up weak sentences. If you are, strengthen the sentence.

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^^^THIS

The reason writers are told to avoid adverbs is because majority of the time they are being use to prop up weak verbs. Outside of that, adverbs have their place in narration and dialogue.

+1 to neandermagnon.

The OMGZ NO ADVERBZ PLZ rule/style/suggestion thingie is not really about how evil adverbs are. Most of the cases when an adverb is used, eg, "he spoke quietly to her," could be more effectively rewritten with a more appropriate verb, eg. "he whispered to her."

Similarly, "He accepted the supplies gratefully," does not really tell much. Neither is "He accepted the supplies with gratitude," as both are very abstract and do not show how gratefully... with a fleeting smile? Kisses the delivery girl (who looks exactly like Dove Cameron)?? Tips the deliverer $50,000?????

oops - double post. sorry.

It's a matter of extent. Too many = bad. A few sprinkled around where needed for extra emphasis = good.

I like to overwrite (a bit) my first draft... usually on a 100 K word book I'll write 105-110K, then edit to reduce. (But not to reductio ad absurdum - not sure why that phrase popped into my head just now.)

today I wrote "He accepted the supplies gratefully," went Geez, another adverb and changed it to "He accepted the supplies with gratitude."

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Why not: He took the supplies and smiled.

The problem with "gratefully" (if there is a problem) wouldn't be that it's an adverb, per se. The problem would be that the rest of the sentence isn't carrying its weight. "With gratitude" is the exact same thing, except it's two words instead of one. In the sentence, they're equally good or bad as far as being necessary or not. Losing the -ly doesn't make it better (or worse).

If there's a problem with "gratefully" here, it would be that it's too vague. But sometimes that's what you need--just say it and move along. More often than not, the "fix" for something that breaks the "rules" is worse than the original version, which probably wasn't problematic to begin with. Using "with gratitude" actually feels clunky to me here, to be honest. I can feel you, the author, trying too hard.

Don't overthink it. Use your gut to tell you when an adverb is really necessary. If you find there are too many adverbs, try beefing up the verb or switching around the sentence structure to better emphasize the thing you want to emphasize without the need for an adverb. There's also the matter of rhythm. Sometimes an adverb helps things flow; sometimes it interrupts the flow. And if you overthink that, it's gonna fall flat, because rhythm is something you have to play by ear.

indianroads said:

Why not: He took the supplies and smiled.

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Possibly because people smile for all sorts of reasons. Gratitude, pleasure, anticipation, bitterness, malice... If you're just describing the external action, the reader has to guess what's behind it. Sometimes that's what you want. Sometimes you need to be explicit to prevent misinterpretation. And sometimes the point of the passage is in the description. This person feels gratitude, not resentment or entitlement or impatience or any other possible response (any of which may also be signified by a smile).

benbenberi said:

Possibly because people smile for all sorts of reasons.

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And don't forget the rules about not having your characters smile. Too many smiles, and they'll forget about all those adverbs you removed. I mean

A character in a lovely book I'm reading held a woman's face in an "infinitely gentle" way, and I almost cried. Adverbs are so lovely. I bet part of what makes some of them work is when they help to form an unexpected pairing.

SwallowFeather said:

(It was probably even better in context.)

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So good in context. Imagine the build up. The unrequited love. The angst. Oh, so good.

A good story earns those sorts of moments.) Yeah, that's rather like what I was thinking about "smiled bitterly"--it's the pairing that does it, in that case a contrasting one. Probably a lot of the origin of the Rule discouraging adverbs was boring or obvious adverbs (telling us either things we didn't need to know or already knew).

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I tend to agree. Make each word earn its weight, period. Sometimes, each syllable.