I think bullying kids need adults to come down on them hard. And bullied kids need adults to stand up for them, and to model the standing up behaviour to the other kids.
I'm of the opinion that that is one of the most important jobs adults can do. (Supporting vaccination is another important job that adults can do.)
I agree. And yes, there is evidence that teaching kids how to identify bullying, how to be kind and empathetic, and how to stand up to bullying
in groups when they see it directed at others, has a success record. And letting the victims know someone has their back, and that they shouldn't be frightened or ashamed to "tattle." Regular confidential questionnaires distributed to students can be helpful at identifying problems that might be taking place behind the backs of adults. There was still a lot of that "no one likes a tattletale" and "handle it yourself" stuff coming down from grownups when I was a kid. I thought that had finally been exposed as seriously flawed and problematic with all the schools having anti-bullying programs in place, but I guess some schools never did that "in service" training module with their staff or something.
I think it’s great that she had the words for what she went through that I didn’t at that age. I’m so sorry that this happened to her though.
That's a tough thing, especially with younger kids--finding the words. I remember being in this awful nursery school for what seemed like forever, though my parents said they realized something was wrong within a couple of weeks and pulled me out. The teacher was mean to me, and to certain other kids, too. I was a "crybaby" to be mocked. Others were clumsy or couldn't sit still or whatever. She'd make us go sit in a utility area behind the furnace when we were "bad.." and once the got a pail out and splashed water in my face when I couldn't stop crying and threatened to throw the whole bucket over my head. When a kid spilled their milk at snack time, or if someone wet their pants, she'd shame them and encourage the other kids to mock them, etc.
I couldn't tell my folks what was happening, because at the age of 4, I didn't really have the words to express how I felt about going there on a schoolbus each day (it's so weird to think of parents putting kids on a schoolbus when they are 4 now, but the school had this awesome reputation, and it was a fair distance away in Chicago, and my folks only had one car back then). Also, I sort of assumed at that age that grownups were omniscient, so if the teacher was mad at me and thought I cried too much, then my parents must have known about it. In fact, they tended to get mad when I cried at home, as crying was considered "bad behavior" back then, and they often scolded me for getting so focused on something I was doing I didn't "hear" them when they called me--another complaint teachers had sometimes.
I think that plays into the dynamic too, even with older kids. Sometimes the kids are shamed and marginalized for things that make them "different," issues their own parents are sometimes frustrated by. Sometimes it's an unidentified difference, such as a kid being on autistic spectrum, or ADHD, or having a learning disability or Tourettes (I remember a boy who constantly cleared his throat in fifth grade, and the teacher frequently shamed him by calling him the "Room 11 Bull." Other time it's just a personality quirk, like crying more readily that most kids their age, or having unusual interests (like being a little girl who preferred drawing dragons and dinosaurs to drawing flowers and houses and preferred make believe games or reading to hopscotch and handball at recess).
I'm glad this brave girl has found her voice and a passion that is raising awareness of a serious problem. Can she feel strident sometimes when insisting no one should ever fly anywhere or eat any meat at all? Sure. But if people cut down on flying and meat eating overall, it makes a difference.
