It's official: Merriam-Webster Singles Out Nonbinary 'They' For Word Of The Year Honors

MaeZe · Dec 10, 2019

NPR: Merriam-Webster Singles Out Nonbinary 'They' For Word Of The Year Honors

I was just starting to stop feeling awkward using the singular they. Now if I want gender-neutral it's the official universally accepted pronoun as well. If any of you all catch me using s/he, feel free to remind me.

Merriam-Webster announced Tuesday that the personal pronoun was its 2019 Word of the Year, noting that the tiny, unassuming word had undergone a rather radical transformation in usage in recent years — and found itself at the heart of some wide-ranging cultural conversations in the process.

"English famously lacks a gender-neutral singular pronoun to correspond neatly with singular pronouns like everyone or someone, and as a consequence they has been used for this purpose for over 600 years," the dictionary publisher explained in a statement.

"More recently, though, they has also been used to refer to one person whose gender identity is nonbinary, a sense that is increasingly common in published, edited text, as well as social media and in daily personal interactions between English speakers."

Biffington · Dec 11, 2019

They works when it's someone I don't know. I still struggle using it when it's someone I do know.

It feels disrespectful, if that makes sense. So yeah, I try to use "they," but I often default to their previous identity on autopilot. Then I feel bad. Then I avoid them because I feel awkward.

lizmonster · Dec 11, 2019

Biffington said:
They works when it's someone I don't know. I still struggle using it when it's someone I do know.

It feels disrespectful, if that makes sense. So yeah, I try to use "they," but I often default to their previous identity on autopilot. Then I feel bad. Then I avoid them because I feel awkward.

Practice is the only way.

The Kid has a number of friends who use "they." I talk with her about them a lot. I mess up; she corrects me; we keep talking. My errors become less frequent.

Language evolves, and I want to keep up.

Bufty · Dec 11, 2019

I've used 'they' as a singular pronoun for many decades but not for gender reasons. Not sure how I would think or feel about doing that in respect of a specific person at their request. Seems odd to me. Maybe it's an age thing.

lizmonster · Dec 11, 2019

Bufty said:
I've used 'they' as a singular pronoun for many decades but not for gender reasons. Not sure how I would think or feel about doing that in respect of a specific person at their request. Seems odd to me. Maybe it's an age thing.

It's definitely an age thing. The Kid is 15; she defaults to "they" if she's speaking quickly. If I'm not focused, I'll still often pluck a gendered pronoun out of the air, no matter how much I practice.

But it's like learning to pronounce someone's name: it's courteous. And it's a pretty small thing to ask, I think.

MaeZe · Dec 11, 2019

Biffington said:
They works when it's someone I don't know. I still struggle using it when it's someone I do know.

It feels disrespectful, if that makes sense. So yeah, I try to use "they," but I often default to their previous identity on autopilot. Then I feel bad. Then I avoid them because I feel awkward.

If you know the person, what pronoun do they prefer?

It is hard to get used to the singular 'they' but at some point it becomes natural.

It's official: Merriam-Webster Singles Out Nonbinary 'They' For Word Of The Year Honors

MaeZe

Biffington

Father of a thousand spawn

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

MaeZe