How many characters do you tend to introduce in Chapter 1?

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

I'm second-guessing myself. I got some criticism in reviews of my last book on "too many names in Chapter 1" and now I feel a bit paranoid. OK, this time I wrote a first scene with minimal names (like, the protag's name plus unnamed extras!) but what about the second scene? What about the third? Is a 5-character dialogue too confusing at the end of Chapter 1? What if I only name 3 or 4 of them?? I'm now totaling 6 names for Chapter 1... is that bad??

Please talk some sense into me. (But y'know, if it is bad, let me know.)

But also, I'd love to know how you all do this, especially those who have a large cast like I do. Have you faced this issue? Conquered it? Do you have principles for how to ease the reader gently into your cast of characters?

Bufty · Oct 31, 2019

I don't think there is any clear cut answer to this, SwallowFeather.

It's all in the execution.

How many names can your reader latch onto and retain while still being fed new names.

Most of us at some point have been guilty of initially drowning the reader in names and places. Glance through the Share-Your-Work Forum and see how you retain the names and places in opening chapters.

Name only those characters whose names you wish the reader to remember.

You mention a five character dialogue at the end of Chapter One. Are they all named? Do they have to be named? Chapter One might be a long one.

All I can say is less is best. Don't introduce everybody at the same time. :Hug2:

ETA- My initial opening chapter had around six or so named characters. It's now two. :Shrug:

KTC · Oct 31, 2019

I introduce the ones who appear in Chapter one. This is not something I would even think about.

lizmonster · Oct 31, 2019

KTC said:
I introduce the ones who appear in Chapter one. This is not something I would even think about.

^^^This. The issue isn't number of characters, but cohesiveness. If the scene seems too confusing (or not compelling), the number of characters might be part of it, but the right number is going to be entirely dependent on the individual story.

The purpose of Chapter 1 is to make readers want to read Chapter 2.

indianroads · Oct 31, 2019

Bufty said:
I don't think there is any clear cut answer to this, SwallowFeather.

It's all in the execution.

How many names can your reader latch onto and retain while still being fed new names.

Most of us at some point have been guilty of initially drowning the reader in names and places. Glance through the Share-Your-Work Forum and see how you retain the names and places in opening chapters.

Name only those characters whose names you wish the reader to remember.

You mention a five character dialogue at the end of Chapter One. Are they all named? Do they have to be named? Chapter One might be a long one.

All I can say is less is best. Don't introduce everybody at the same time.

ETA- My initial opening chapter had around six or so named characters. It's now two.

^^^ I agree - especially with less is best. If some of your ch1 characters are not going to be showing up later on, I'd say don't name, or possibly eliminate them all together. Also, beware of similar sounding (or spelling) names, as in, Jim, Joe Jane, Janet, James, Jenny... IMO it's best to not have your characters coming at the reader like boulders rolling down a hill.

Also, you'll have major and minor characters - enhance the former and diminish the later.

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

KTC said:
I introduce the ones who appear in Chapter one. This is not something I would even think about.

Yep, I never did either before I got those reviews. I thought about making the first scene compelling. But I didn't hear back that the first scene was confusing or hard to get into--I heard "too many names." From two or three different people, I might add. That's why I'm thinking about this now.

lizmonster · Oct 31, 2019

SwallowFeather said:
Yep, I never did either before I got those reviews. I thought about making the first scene compelling. But I didn't hear back that the first scene was confusing or hard to get into--I heard "too many names." That's why I'm thinking about this now.

It's worth remembering the Neil Gaiman quote about readers knowing if something is wrong, but not knowing how to fix it.

"Too many names" is either confusion, extraneous detail, or both.

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

I actually think part of the problem is that I named eight characters in Scene 1, three of whom were not recurring characters at all, and one of whom was recurring but minor. I was surprised by readers' sense that they were supposed to memorize the names--I would have let them wash over me. I've updated that scene for the audio version--the non-recurring characters are now unnamed.

Woollybear · Oct 31, 2019

SwallowFeather said:
I'm second-guessing myself. I got some criticism in reviews of my last book on "too many names in Chapter 1" and now I feel a bit paranoid. OK, this time I wrote a first scene with minimal names (like, the protag's name plus unnamed extras!) but what about the second scene? What about the third? Is a 5-character dialogue too confusing at the end of Chapter 1? What if I only name 3 or 4 of them?? I'm now totaling 6 names for Chapter 1... is that bad??

Please talk some sense into me. (But y'know, if it is bad, let me know.)

But also, I'd love to know how you all do this, especially those who have a large cast like I do. Have you faced this issue? Conquered it? Do you have principles for how to ease the reader gently into your cast of characters?

I actually looked to HP for a template on this.

(ETA I got some details wrong below--it was from memory.

)

Rowling introduced Harry (and Privet Drive) for a certain length of time, and with certain 'structural' ... sort of 'beams' in place, like she gave the reader three ways to think about him. Then, after this (which took maybe a page) she brought in Dudley or Uncle Vernon. She gives the same treatment to the second character, as relates to Harry. Then a third character, then a fourth.

If you look at that chapter for the structure of it, and the tricks she uses, and asking why each piece is placed as it is, it can be useful.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia are easy to remember bc of their 'titles.' You can use that trick. A Dr. Brown is easier to remember than a Cletus Brown, because we have pre-existing compartments in our heads for 'Drs.'

Cousin Mabel. Little Tony. One-eyed Luke.

I agree it depends on execution. I introduce six names in the first chapter, three have speaking roles (one of those has a title attached to his name). The other two are male and female (mom and son). The main scene is a crowded gala and there are additional unnamed people milling about. I used to get the comment 'too many names' but no one has said it lately.

I used to start all the names in one family with the letter C. That ended being problematic, and i now try to make names distinctive. And a name that is also an object, like Lily, might be easier to remember than a name that has no such association, like Jen. Or not.

Bufty · Oct 31, 2019

SwallowFeather said:
I actually think part of the problem is that I named eight characters in Scene 1, three of whom were not recurring characters at all, and one of whom was recurring but minor. I was surprised by readers' sense that they were supposed to memorize the names--I would have let them wash over me. I've updated that scene for the audio version--the non-recurring characters are now unnamed.

Every time a new character name is introduced, I assume it's there for a reason and do make a little mental note of it.

Woollybear · Oct 31, 2019

SwallowFeather said:
I would have let them wash over me.

I do the same. But readers seem to want to memorize names, and want fewer names as a result, in general.

Are you a teacher? I always made a point to learn the names of my 40 college students/classroom as quickly as possible (within a week, by sight) and some semesters I had upward of 150 students between my classes. I tried to learn them all in a week (Never nailed it, but came close in some classrooms.)

I think because of that, I never thought 8 was a big number. I could easily learn eight names. I had tricks.

This topic has come up elsewhere online and oddly, writers who have taught classrooms of students seem comfortable writing crowded and named scenes. (small sample size on this, but I noticed a trend.).

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

Bufty said:
I don't think there is any clear cut answer to this, SwallowFeather.

It's all in the execution.

How many names can your reader latch onto and retain while still being fed new names.

Most of us at some point have been guilty of initially drowning the reader in names and places. Glance through the Share-Your-Work Forum and see how you retain the names and places in opening chapters.

Name only those characters whose names you wish the reader to remember.

You mention a five character dialogue at the end of Chapter One. Are they all named? Do they have to be named? Chapter One might be a long one.

All I can say is less is best. Don't introduce everybody at the same time.

ETA- My initial opening chapter had around six or so named characters. It's now two.

No, I don't expect a clear cut answer--but thanks for sharing the specifics from your own work. That's what I'm interested in--how other writers have made those decisions. There's a reason I didn't put this in Basic Writing Questions--I felt like this could maybe be an interesting discussion as well as a bit of help for where I'm at right now.

Looking at my synopsis, I have six major characters--i.e. ones you have to name in the synopsis to make it read coherently. In my first chapter I've named Sc 1) Protagonist, brief Sc 2) 2 important minor characters (who are together), Sc 3) 2 major characters and an extra who is there to ask questions, to whom I've given a very generic name b/c the other characters can't just call her "New Girl" in dialogue. Protag and "the cook" make up the rest of the five. I really do think it's all pretty coherent--I took care to give each (important) character their own clear introduction, and they're quite different ages/genders/"stations" as they used to say.

Just thinking out loud here, sorry about all the details!

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

Patty said:
I actually looked to HP for a template on this.

Rowling introduced Harry (and Privet Drive) for a certain length of time, and with certain 'structural' ... sort of 'beams' in place, like she gave the reader three ways to think about him. Then, after this (which took maybe a page) she brought in Dudley or Uncle Vernon. She gives the same treatment to the second character, as relates to Harry. Then a third character, then a fourth.

If you look at that chapter for the structure of it, and the tricks she uses, and asking why each piece is placed as it is, it can be useful.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia are easy to remember bc of their 'titles.' You can use that trick. A Dr. Brown is easier to remember than a Cletus Brown, because we have pre-existing compartments in our heads for 'Drs.'

Cousin Mabel. Little Tony. One-eyed Luke.

I agree it depends on execution. I introduce six names in the first chapter, three have speaking roles (one of those has a title attached to his name). The other two are male and female (mom and son). The main scene is a crowded gala and there are additional unnamed people milling about. I used to get the comment 'too many names' but no one has said it lately.

I used to start all the names in one family with the letter C. That ended being problematic, and i now try to make names distinctive. And a name that is also an object, like Lily, might be easier to remember than a name that has no such association, like Jen. Or not.

How useful! Thank you! Going to a successful book that you like is such a useful idea, I ought to have thought of it this time round--when I was a real newbie and still trying to figure out how chapters & chapter endings worked, I did this with The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold. Not so famous but still darn good. And good choice for this one--HP is really a model for compelling opening chapters.

Darn, don't actually have it on my shelf though. (My kid's not old enough yet.) I'll download it from the library and have a look.

Good points about the titles--and other identifiers--being a useful aid. Also intriguing though only half-understood point (got to have a look at the book!) about giving the reader several ways to look at a major character... do you mean, that she introduced him first as a baby, then we saw him as a boy... something like that?

Bufty · Oct 31, 2019

Not sure how a synopsis figures here, but in essence we can introduce as many names as we choose or are needed to make the story unfold so long as there is flow and clarity.

SwallowFeather said:
No, I don't expect a clear cut answer--but thanks for sharing the specifics from your own work. That's what I'm interested in--how other writers have made those decisions. There's a reason I didn't put this in Basic Writing Questions--I felt like this could maybe be an interesting discussion as well as a bit of help for where I'm at right now.

Looking at my synopsis, I have six major characters--i.e. ones you have to name in the synopsis to make it read coherently. In my first chapter I've named Sc 1) Protagonist, brief Sc 2) 2 important minor characters (who are together), Sc 3) 2 major characters and an extra who is there to ask questions, to whom I've given a very generic name b/c the other characters can't just call her "New Girl" in dialogue. Protag and "the cook" make up the rest of the five. I really do think it's all pretty coherent--I took care to give each character their own clear introduction, and they're quite different ages/genders/"stations" as they used to say.

Just thinking out loud here, sorry about all the details!

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

Bufty said:
Every time a new character name is introduced, I assume it's there for a reason and do make a little mental note of it.

Patty said:
I do the same. But readers seem to want to memorize names, and want fewer names as a result, in general.

Yes, I've been getting the sense more people memorize names than not, despite my personal inclination.

Patty said:
Are you a teacher? I always made a point to learn the names of my 40 college students/classroom as quickly as possible (within a week, by sight) and some semesters I had upward of 150 students between my classes. I tried to learn them all in a week (Never nailed it, but came close in some classrooms.)

I think because of that, I never thought 8 was a big number. I could easily learn eight names. I had tricks.

This topic has come up elsewhere online and oddly, writers who have taught classrooms of students seem comfortable writing crowded and named scenes. (small sample size on this, but I noticed a trend.).

Interesting! No, not a teacher, and I'm actually terrible at memorizing names. Now that I think about it, there may be background reasons for my differences about names--I grew up in a culture where people are expected to have fewer and more intense friendships and where it's perfectly OK to call acquaintances "Mr" and "Mrs" with no name. There's not the expectation of memorizing names or risking embarrassment. Maybe that's why I let names wash over me...

Woollybear · Oct 31, 2019

I'm glad it helped.

SwallowFeather said:
... giving the reader several ways to look at a major character... do you mean, that she introduced him first as a baby, then we saw him as a boy... something like that?

From memory, is was sort of like she gave (1) a physical marker (a jagged scar on his forehead) (2) an emotional anchor (he was an orphan who lived in a closet) and (3) a strange thing going on in his life (a strange letter to him had appeared).

Something like that.

SwallowFeather · Oct 31, 2019

Bufty said:
Not sure how a synopsis figures here, but in essence we can introduce as many names as we choose or are needed to make the story unfold so long as there is flow and clarity.

Yes, that makes sense. I feel a synopsis is a good way of knowing which characters are truly major. As you cut and cut to streamline your synopsis, which ones are essential to leave in? I was thinking out loud, as I said--I think someone else may have brought up the question of major vs. minor characters. I made it a goal this time to be intentional about introducing the most important ones.

- - - Updated - - -

Patty said:
From memory, is was sort of like she gave (1) a physical marker (a jagged scar on his forehead) (2) an emotional anchor (he was an orphan who lived in a closet) and (3) a strange thing going on in his life (a strange letter to him had appeared).

Something like that.

Yes, I see. That's really good!

angeliz2k · Oct 31, 2019

I really don't think it's a matter or numbers, but how it's done. Thinking about the example of Harry Potter again, it shows that introducing the characters more or less one-by-one helps. We are introduced to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, then to the idea of the Potters, then Harry (though at this point he's really just a formless baby thingy), then in the next chapter to Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Giving each one some breathing room, I think, helps.

In my first brief chapter, I introduce our narrator, her interlocutor (who isn't really a character and isn't named), her five sons, and a very important family friend. I don't really need readers to memorize the names or birth order of the children, but there are the names, and she (the narrator) says things like "dear Arthur" [her husband], and she goes through each of her sons, by age, saying a word or two about them. Then she lists all of the names/nicknames of the family friend. Again, I don't expect the reader to be able to remember all this perfectly at the end of this chapter, but everything that comes after reinforces it.

If you name someone in chapter one, however, I will be expecting them to have some importance and will be a little miffed if they don't.

MythMonger · Nov 2, 2019

I'm very conscious of the number of named characters I put in a manuscript. I do this because, first of all, I'm terrible with names, both in books and in life. I don't want to overwhelm my reader like I sometimes feel overwhelmed by lots of names. Second, my earlier attempts at writing resulted in beta readers reporting that they had to keep a written list of my character names. Not good.

The primary thing I do to juggle a lot of named characters is to name them via the alphabet, in other words I try to spread the first letters of the character names around the alphabet. I'm not perfect: my WIP has four names that start with T, for example. I try to make sure characters that start with the same letter are in different parts of the book, or at least such vastly different characters (gender, demeanor) that they couldn't be confused.

Still, I have 40+ named characters in the WIP. So far, beta readers haven't complained, so I think I've picked up a thing or two.

In my first chapter I introduce the only narrator of the book, which is written in first person. The first characters she interacts with are unnamed, referenced only by what's happened to them in the scene so far (purse snatcher/thief, old woman/victim). Then I bring in another named character, who has an introduction and a short interaction before he falls out of the scene. I hint at other named characters but just give a general description, who are very important later in the WIP but not yet. I name another character because he only appears in that opening scene and towards the end, so it's my only chance. That named character is left behind, then I bring in another named character, who again has another intro and short interaction before falling out of the scene. The narrator then interacts with several more unnamed characters before the scene ends. The other scenes in chapter 1 follow the same sequence: one named character introduced, interacted with, left behind until later.

TLDR: Because I have so many named characters throughout my WIP, I only name characters when its important to.

Dan Rhys · Nov 2, 2019

I like to use my first chapter as a 'decompression zone'...slowly ease the reader from the world s/he is in to the world I am providing. As a result, thus far, in both my works, I have limited my chapter one to only the main character. You do not have to use that approach, but I have learned that it makes readers more curious about who will step in as they read on.

Tocotin · Nov 2, 2019

SwallowFeather said:
I'm second-guessing myself. I got some criticism in reviews of my last book on "too many names in Chapter 1" and now I feel a bit paranoid. OK, this time I wrote a first scene with minimal names (like, the protag's name plus unnamed extras!) but what about the second scene? What about the third? Is a 5-character dialogue too confusing at the end of Chapter 1? What if I only name 3 or 4 of them?? I'm now totaling 6 names for Chapter 1... is that bad??

Please talk some sense into me. (But y'know, if it is bad, let me know.)

Oh no, I don't think it's bad! If you need those characters and you need them named, you need them. That's it. There are readers who are going to be confused no matter how many named characters you have per chapter, and there could be so many reasons for that, from having problems remembering names to the names being foreign (the names in your book are!) to the readers reading the book on the train and being not able to focus (this happens to me sometimes). Remember, those who let the names wash over them were the ones who didn't tell you about it, right?

Maybe there were more of them?

SwallowFeather said:
But also, I'd love to know how you all do this, especially those who have a large cast like I do. Have you faced this issue? Conquered it? Do you have principles for how to ease the reader gently into your cast of characters?

Ha! I have a huge, huge cast of named characters, probably well over 100 (haven't counted yet, will do that when editing), some of them change their names in the course of the story (the MC changes his name four times), and not a single name is an English one. I'll probably thank a few of them, but not many; some of them are there to deliberately make the scenes crowded, and if my 1st-person narrator/MC knows and remembers them, he's going to name them. ESPECIALLY if they are women.

I don't sweat it if the names start with the same letter, but I do try to diversify them by using names of different length and melody (Suma and Akashi, for example), give them descriptors (Little Sada), or put the title, occupation name, etc. next to it. If the character is important, I will introduce them with a bang or at least with confetti, meaning that they will have their own scene when they appear for the first time. If there is considerable time gap between the scenes in which they appear, I'm not above reintroducing them – since my MC is quite literally telling his story to someone, I can and will do the "I dunno if you remember her, but she was the main courtesan in our house" trick quite shamelessly. Have I conquered the issue? Just gagged it and put in the cupboard? I don't know yet; I'll see during the editing.

I have read your book <3 and I didn't have a problem with the number of characters*. I have generally good memory when it comes to names, though. But... Readers complain. Reviewers complain. There will be complaints whatever you do. This is one of the minor ones, I think... Don't let it take too much of your time. If it helps any, I have 10 named characters in my 1st chapter. Maybe 11. Okay I'll shut up now.

*or with anything

:troll

SwallowFeather · Nov 3, 2019

Oof, sorry I skipped out so long. Real busy week as it turned out.

angeliz2k said:
I really don't think it's a matter or numbers, but how it's done. Thinking about the example of Harry Potter again, it shows that introducing the characters more or less one-by-one helps. We are introduced to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, then to the idea of the Potters, then Harry (though at this point he's really just a formless baby thingy), then in the next chapter to Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Giving each one some breathing room, I think, helps.

In my first brief chapter, I introduce our narrator, her interlocutor (who isn't really a character and isn't named), her five sons, and a very important family friend. I don't really need readers to memorize the names or birth order of the children, but there are the names, and she (the narrator) says things like "dear Arthur" [her husband], and she goes through each of her sons, by age, saying a word or two about them. Then she lists all of the names/nicknames of the family friend. Again, I don't expect the reader to be able to remember all this perfectly at the end of this chapter, but everything that comes after reinforces it.

If you name someone in chapter one, however, I will be expecting them to have some importance and will be a little miffed if they don't.

You've got some really good points here about breathing room and introducing characters sort-of one by one (and Harry Potter again makes a great example to show it), and I've been low-key thinking about them ever since I read your post & then had to go deal with the house, garden & unseasonable weather for several days. It's making me rethink Chapter 1 to some extent--I'm sure the first half absolutely works, but the second may be a bit too compressed. I feel a lot of tension between "easing the reader into the world" and "making sure there's action/interest at the beginning." I really do think I erred too much on the action side last time. I was influenced by a (overall very useful) book/podcast that is a little too focused on thrillers, I think.

MythMonger said:
I'm very conscious of the number of named characters I put in a manuscript. I do this because, first of all, I'm terrible with names, both in books and in life. I don't want to overwhelm my reader like I sometimes feel overwhelmed by lots of names. Second, my earlier attempts at writing resulted in beta readers reporting that they had to keep a written list of my character names. Not good.

The primary thing I do to juggle a lot of named characters is to name them via the alphabet, in other words I try to spread the first letters of the character names around the alphabet. I'm not perfect: my WIP has four names that start with T, for example. I try to make sure characters that start with the same letter are in different parts of the book, or at least such vastly different characters (gender, demeanor) that they couldn't be confused.

Still, I have 40+ named characters in the WIP. So far, beta readers haven't complained, so I think I've picked up a thing or two.

In my first chapter I introduce the only narrator of the book, which is written in first person. The first characters she interacts with are unnamed, referenced only by what's happened to them in the scene so far (purse snatcher/thief, old woman/victim). Then I bring in another named character, who has an introduction and a short interaction before he falls out of the scene. I hint at other named characters but just give a general description, who are very important later in the WIP but not yet. I name another character because he only appears in that opening scene and towards the end, so it's my only chance. That named character is left behind, then I bring in another named character, who again has another intro and short interaction before falling out of the scene. The narrator then interacts with several more unnamed characters before the scene ends. The other scenes in chapter 1 follow the same sequence: one named character introduced, interacted with, left behind until later.

TLDR: Because I have so many named characters throughout my WIP, I only name characters when its important to.

Wow yeah, you do have a pretty large cast! And I think I see you agreeing with what I take from angelizk's advice: give each new named character their own chunk of time for the reader to experience them a bit... and maybe don't clump them all together! Or clump any together at all. Don't know if I'll go quite that far, we'll see (I am trying to portray a sense of community, so that's another hurdle) but overall it makes sense. Thanks very much for going into specifics; it helps me picture it.

Dan Rhys said:
I like to use my first chapter as a 'decompression zone'...slowly ease the reader from the world s/he is in to the world I am providing. As a result, thus far, in both my works, I have limited my chapter one to only the main character. You do not have to use that approach, but I have learned that it makes readers more curious about who will step in as they read on.

And another vote for easing the reader in somewhat gently! Can I ask a question--of you, Dan Rhys, but also the two others I'm replying to here, who're all kind of leaning the same way? How long is your first chapter--how many words? And is that roughly your usual chapter length?

SwallowFeather · Nov 3, 2019

Tocotin said:
Oh no, I don't think it's bad! If you need those characters and you need them named, you need them. That's it. There are readers who are going to be confused no matter how many named characters you have per chapter, and there could be so many reasons for that, from having problems remembering names to the names being foreign (the names in your book are!) to the readers reading the book on the train and being not able to focus (this happens to me sometimes). Remember, those who let the names wash over them were the ones who didn't tell you about it, right? Maybe there were more of them?

Ha! I have a huge, huge cast of named characters, probably well over 100 (haven't counted yet, will do that when editing), some of them change their names in the course of the story (the MC changes his name four times), and not a single name is an English one. I'll probably thank a few of them, but not many; some of them are there to deliberately make the scenes crowded, and if my 1st-person narrator/MC knows and remembers them, he's going to name them. ESPECIALLY if they are women.

I don't sweat it if the names start with the same letter, but I do try to diversify them by using names of different length and melody (Suma and Akashi, for example), give them descriptors (Little Sada), or put the title, occupation name, etc. next to it. If the character is important, I will introduce them with a bang or at least with confetti, meaning that they will have their own scene when they appear for the first time. If there is considerable time gap between the scenes in which they appear, I'm not above reintroducing them – since my MC is quite literally telling his story to someone, I can and will do the "I dunno if you remember her, but she was the main courtesan in our house" trick quite shamelessly. Have I conquered the issue? Just gagged it and put in the cupboard? I don't know yet; I'll see during the editing.

I have read your book <3 and I didn't have a problem with the number of characters*. I have generally good memory when it comes to names, though. But... Readers complain. Reviewers complain. There will be complaints whatever you do. This is one of the minor ones, I think... Don't let it take too much of your time. If it helps any, I have 10 named characters in my 1st chapter. Maybe 11. Okay I'll shut up now.

*or with anything

Wow, 100+!!! The problem with you, though, is that I suspect you are inimitable.

Or at least I wouldn't dare try--in some ways anyhow. Your writing makes me see paintings in my mind. That's... my weird way of saying it's vivid. Some writing makes me see vague images, some graphic-novel-style clear lines and bright colors, some elegant pen-and-ink drawings, but... paintings are rare.

Yeah, you really have a point about complaining readers. I got so frustrated with my readership's low tolerance for French words in the text (Google Translate exists, people! and the point of putting that one sentence in French was that the POV character didn't understand it...) I did end up adjusting b/c of that, though it was also for reasons of my own.

I like your thoughts on the rhythm/melody of names as another way to differentiate them. And the thing about it being your MC's POV that drives the naming speaks to something I'm struggling with a little--I was actually thinking of asking you about it. To reduce names, I called one character simply "the cook" throughout an early scene... but the truth is my MC knows her name, everyone does, and I wonder if she comes off snobby which she's not, by (the narration) not using it... I'm not in first person (I miss first person tho!) so it's not utterly clear that this is her not using it, but it is a close 3rd.

I do hear a theme in your post and others of "important character, try & give them their own awesome introduction scene." That's definitely looking to be one of my takeaways here. I've been just a little too efficient sometimes cramming a bunch of important new people into a scene! I am glad you didn't have a problem with my previous book's first scene though. & glad you liked the book. :e2sven:

angeliz2k · Nov 4, 2019

two

Tocotin said:
If there is considerable time gap between the scenes in which they appear, I'm not above reintroducing them – since my MC is quite literally telling his story to someone, I can and will do the "I dunno if you remember her, but she was the main courtesan in our house" trick quite shamelessly. Have I conquered the issue? Just gagged it and put in the cupboard? I don't know yet; I'll see during the editing.

Not entirely on topic, but in my latest WIP, I, too, have my characters telling their story to someone else, and it can be a very useful device in getting across info to the reader that the narrator knows and wouldn't really think twice about if by themselves. I didn't do it with names, but with explaining certain terms and places.

SwallowFeather said:
Oof, sorry I skipped out so long. Real busy week as it turned out.

You've got some really good points here about breathing room and introducing characters sort-of one by one (and Harry Potter again makes a great example to show it), and I've been low-key thinking about them ever since I read your post & then had to go deal with the house, garden & unseasonable weather for several days. It's making me rethink Chapter 1 to some extent--I'm sure the first half absolutely works, but the second may be a bit too compressed. I feel a lot of tension between "easing the reader into the world" and "making sure there's action/interest at the beginning." I really do think I erred too much on the action side last time. I was influenced by a (overall very useful) book/podcast that is a little too focused on thrillers, I think.

Yeah, there seems to be a relatively wide-spread notion that you have to start in the middle of action, with Stuff Happening, and keep explanation and description to a minimum, and I frankly think that's hogwash, for most genres at least (I think it actually does make sense for thrillers and other action-oriented stories). While it's important to hook your reader, I think you can do that by involving them in your world. Now, just sitting there describing the clouds for two pages isn't gonna do it. There has to be some point to the things you describe. But you don't want your reader to feel like everything is happening within a blank box, and you don't want to confuse them (which can happen if you jump in too fast, without orienting your reader).

And another vote for easing the reader in somewhat gently! Can I ask a question--of you, Dan Rhys, but also the two others I'm replying to here, who're all kind of leaning the same way? How long is your first chapter--how many words? And is that roughly your usual chapter length?

They vary, but most my first chapters (most my chapters in general) are around 2-3k words. The WIP I mentioned above, with the woman introducing her family, has a different structure with more, shorter chapters. That first chapter is only about 850 words.

maggiee19 · Nov 4, 2019

I only introduce three characters in chapter 1.
I recently betad a book with so many characters, it was impossible for me to keep up with all of them. Most of the characters would appear in one chapter, serve a certain purpose for one scene, and then they were never seen again. It remind me of when I started writing novels back in 2000. I would have way too many characters in one chapter.

How many characters do you tend to introduce in Chapter 1?

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Where have the last ten years gone?

Stand in the Place Where You Live

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Wherever I go, there I am.

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Where have the last ten years gone?

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Where have the last ten years gone?

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Oops I just swallowed a feather

never mind the shorty

Willing to Learn

deceives

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Oops I just swallowed a feather

never mind the shorty