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Alternatives to “said character”

Pencrafter

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I’m not the only one to do this, but wanted thoughts on a certain practice handling dialogue using verbs other than “said”:

“Where were you!” demanded Catherine
“Out with friends,” offered George

“ ‘friends’?” pressed Catherine
“ well...” evaded George

I use this technique sparingly; mostly I go with “said” but wondering what you all think about either.

On one hand, if the reader is paying attention, they know that Catherine is demanding satisfaction, and that George is defensive. Perhaps he’s a weazel.

On the other hand, using the appropriate verb can add...value to the dialogue, confirming that Catherine is PO’d, that George is sheepish?

Does using verbs other than “said” merely add tedium? Do readers need it / want it?
 
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mrsmig

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We have lots and lots of threads on this very subject. Current thinking is to rely on "said" for most dialogue tags, or use no dialogue tag at all if it's clear who's speaking, or substitute an action beat, e.g.:

"Where were you?" Catherine demanded.
"Out with friends," George said.
"Friends?"
George looked at the ground. "Well..."
 

Kat M

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Opinion/personal preference only, not rules—

a.) Used sparingly, sure. I'm sure you use it more sparingly than in your example, but just in case, but four in a row like your example would be quite distracting.
b.) The big issue is when dialogue tags don't refer to speech. For example, "Good morning, everyone," smiled Aaron. That just creates a weird, sloppy image. Not a good look.
c.) I would suggest tweaking most of those dialogue tags, because they repeat obvious information. I can already tell George is evading—he just said "well . . ." in response to getting pressed by a confrontational person. I'm a fan of using alternative dialogue tags to convey tone. Like, "screamed, whispered, croaked," but too many of those can get distracting too. So getting back to a.) everything in moderation.
d.) Not something you asked, but . . . your example has the same construction every single time. "Said character." I'm assuming you just whipped up an example and your real writing has more variation, but I would strongly advise a mix of "said character," "character said," and "no dialogue tags because action makes it obvious."
 

Maggie Maxwell

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I don't really see repetition of tone in the dialogue tag as adding value. It seems more like the writer wasn't confident in either their own words or on the reader picking up on what they intended it to sound like. They can be beneficial when the words don't match the intended tone, but 99% of the time, "said" or an action will do far more than a saidism will without the reader feeling like their intelligence is being insulted.
 

TStarnes

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I've always thought the general wisdom was that, if it's clear who's talking it's best to have no tag indicating the speaker, but if it isn't then you should try and use said, as more flavorful descriptors draw the readers eye while most readers don't even think about it when they see "said". It blends in and is the least jarring.
 

Bufty

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There's a current thread He said, she said, everybody said said on this topic just a few threads below this one in the Forum thread listing.
 

Pencrafter

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Thank you...these answers and that other thread are excellent.
 

Marian Perera

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I don't really see repetition of tone in the dialogue tag as adding value. It seems more like the writer wasn't confident in either their own words or on the reader picking up on what they intended it to sound like.

Exactly. Trust me as a reader to understand that when a character says "I'm so sorry" with sincerity, he's apologizing, and when someone says, "No! I didn't do it!" she's denying.

I also dislike said-bookisms that are animal sounds. If your characters growl, bleat, purr and chirp their dialogue, the story will sound to me like five minutes before feeding time at the zoo.
 

K.S. Crooks

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Nearly 200 words you can use instead of said...Although keep in mind that these are not synonyms for said. They can be used to give the correct expression to the sentence. Said is alright but using it over and over could create boredom. Us them with discretion as each word applies to a different situation.
1. Exclaimed
2. Replied
3. Queried
4. Questioned
5. Murmured
6. Muttered
7. Screamed
8. Shouted
9. Whispered
10. Laughed
11. Cried
12. Whined
13. Yelled
14. Answered
15. Encouraged
16. Complained
17. Rasped
18. Whimpered
19. Barked
20. Giggled
21. Ordered
22. Implored
23. Insisted
24. Interrupted
25. Lectured
26. Mimicked
27. Uttered
28. Objected
29. Observed
30. Offered
31. Cowered
32. Sneered
33. Snarled
34. Remembered
35. Lied
36. Exaggerated
37. Cackled
38. Squealed
39. Fretted
40. Sobbed
41. Hollered
42. Persisted
43. Pestered
44. Pleaded
45. Pondered
46. Prattled
47. Prayed
48. Proclaimed
49. Proposed



50. Protested
51. Snapped
52. Added
53. Advised
54. Agreed
55. Allowed
56. Announced
57. Apologized
58. Argued
59. Began
60. Begged
61. Blurted
62. Started
63. Recalled
64. Remarked
65. Repeated
66. Responded
67. Revealed
68. Scolded
69. Simpered
70. Snobbed
71. Spluttered
72. Shrieked
73. Groaned
74. Sighed
75. Gurgled
76. Promised
77. Grumbled
78. Rumbled
79. Mumbled
80. Wondered
81. Thought
82. Told
83. Asked
84. Informed
85. Moaned
86. Breathed
87. Coaxed
88. Chanted
89. Howled
90. Spoke
91. Stammered
92. Sulked
93. Tattled
94. Teased
95. Threatened
96. Tormented
97. Urged
98. Wailed
99. Boasted
100. Called
101. Chatted
102. Chuckled
103. Concluded
104. Decided
105. Declared
106. Denied
107. Disagreed
108. Drawled
109. Inquired
110. Falted
111. Finished
112. Gasped
11. Gloated
113. Grunted
114. Hinted
115. Hissed
116. Warned
117. Wept
118. Wheezed
119. Yawned
120. Tempted
121. Reflected
122. Bellowed
123. Googled
124. Oogled
125. Burble
126. Commanded
127. Wheedled
128. Grizzled
129. Gripe
130. Sang
131. Twittered
132. Demanded
134. Wooed
135. Blasted
136. Asked
137. Chewed
138. Bawled
139. Toasted
140. Growled
141. Roasted
142. Hounded
143. Grimaced
144. Slurred
145. Joked
146. Prodded
147. Lamented
148. Mourned
149. Stuttered


150. Dribbled.
151. Pronounced
152. Spelled out
153. Reminisced
154. Warbled
155. Elocuted
156. Implied
157. Insinuated
158. Challenged
159. Countered
160. Countermanded
161. Bandied
162. Riposted
163. Deliberated
164. Communicated
165. Oozed
166. Assessed
167. Negated
168. Abnegated
169. Intonated
170. Cussed
171. Cursed
172. Caterwauled
173. Assured
174. Delivered
175. Bleated
176. Dripped
177. Flirted
178. Assented
179. Swore
180. Hesitated
181. Egged-on
182. Confessed
183. Chirped
184. Chirruped
185. Roared
186. Mewed
187. Rattled on
188. Harped on
189. Nattered on
190. Crapped on
191. Went on
192. Continued
193. Blathered
194. Blustered
195. Huffed
196. Nagged
197. Shouted down
198. Squeaked
199. Wished
200. Related

 
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Murky

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In many articles and videos on this topic there is a consensus that constantly using different verbs for speech tags is considered amateurish and is a red flag for an agent.

The common advice is to use only said, and only once you mastered your craft, you can throw in another verb now and then. (Like the great list in the previous post).

To me, the word said is one of those invisible words that I am not aware of that I read, and said is there to help me know whom is speaking.
If it is already clear, the tag can be dropped. (As others have suggested in their posts).
 

Bufty

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Yeah- a huge list that could be ascribed to dialogue but, to me, many are a tad suspect as direct substitutes for 'said'.
 

Kat M

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"I don't know what that is. We'll have to look it up," he oogled, his phone already primed for dictation.
 

mrsmig

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Since "ogle" refers to an action of vision ("he ogled the beautiful woman") rather than a manner of speaking, it isn't actually a proper dialogue tag.

"You're gorgeous," he ogled.

Bleah. It makes me wince just seeing it in print. Like:

"Sure I did," she winked.

Or:

"I hate you," he glared.

::shudders::
 
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Marian Perera

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Since "ogle" refers to an action of vision ("he ogled the beautiful woman") rather than a manner of speaking, it isn't actually a proper dialogue tag.

But this is actually "oogled". Anyone's guess what that could be. Is it using a knockoff version of Google? Is it ogling that takes a longer time?
 

mrsmig

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But this is actually "oogled". Anyone's guess what that could be. Is it using a knockoff version of Google? Is it ogling that takes a longer time?

:e2point:

Donna, who clearly did not get the joke the first time.
 

Roxxsmom

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mrsmig summed it up well. I'd suggest only using alternatives to said when you really want to call attention to how a person is saying something.

Personally, I find tags like "offered," "commented" etc. a bit silly, because the words and context should (and generally do) make it obvious that someone is offering or commenting. There's nothing wrong with having no tag at all, if it's clear who is talking. It's also fine to include additional actions and context in a paragraph with dialog to paint a clear picture for the reader.
 

Ari Meermans

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I'ma quote mrsmig's post 'cause it isn't getting enough play. This is how it's done.

We have lots and lots of threads on this very subject. Current thinking is to rely on "said" for most dialogue tags, or use no dialogue tag at all if it's clear who's speaking, or substitute an action beat, e.g.:

"Where were you?" Catherine demanded.
"Out with friends," George said.
"Friends?"
George looked at the ground. "Well..."
 

mccardey

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My goodness, that is a terrible list.
Lordy, that does take me back. We used to get those lists at school, just over a half-century ago...

ETA: You can also turn them into adverbs. Although I wouldn't try that with oogle, because I'm not sure how you'd get the stain out.
 
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Kat M

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We used to get those lists at school, just over a half-century ago...

I tried to do my duty this summer. My grade-level teammates were making up posters that said "said is dead" and included a long list of synonyms ("oogle" was not one of them). I explained why that was not the best idea for developing writers and suggested modifying their rules so students had to experiment with one synonym per piece of writing (developing vocabulary is also of key importance at our grade level). They listened politely but clearly didn't understand. "Come on," I said, "you don't want to read a page where people are breathing, sighing, yelling, ejaculating everything." Then I had to speak to the principal for some reason . . .

/derail
 

Woollybear

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I’m not the only one to do this, but wanted thoughts on a certain practice handling dialogue using verbs other than “said”:

“Where were you!” demanded Catherine
“Out with friends,” offered George

“ ‘friends’?” pressed Catherine
“ well...” evaded George

I use this technique sparingly; mostly I go with “said” but wondering what you all think about either.

On one hand, if the reader is paying attention, they know that Catherine is demanding satisfaction, and that George is defensive. Perhaps he’s a weazel.

On the other hand, using the appropriate verb can add...value to the dialogue, confirming that Catherine is PO’d, that George is sheepish?

Does using verbs other than “said” merely add tedium? Do readers need it / want it?

Short answer: No. Just, no.

Long answer: It's possible to see any of those as real estate to develop outward, into an arguably better tag.

"Where were you?" Catherine winced inwardly at the demanding tone in her voice. Truth be told, she'd been more worried than angry.

George shuffled foot to foot before offering any response at all. "Out with friends."