Hello everyone. 
I really appreciate any help that anyone here could provide, and also apologize in advance if this post is in the wrong place.
I've had about 20 rejections so far. This isn't hurtful at all; I know most authors get tons, and honestly I'm happy enough to have reached the querying stage instead of the "finish the novel" stage, so any response back from an agent feels good, even when it's a no. So I'm not upset about getting rejections, but I am trying to analyze what might be holding me back so that I can improve my approach.
I've had my novel professionally edited, and have been told by a contact who's spent 10-15 years in the publishing industry that the quality of my book is publishable and would be desirable to an agent seeking that genre/"type" of book. This isn't meant to be a humble-brag, but just to clarify that I'm not sending them a book full of grammatical errors, or something that's a ripoff of Harry Potter, or a trainwreck with no structure or bad pacing, etc. I also have only sent my novel to agents seeking YA/MG sci-fi/fantasy, so it's also not a matter of ignoring agent preferences and sending them genres they don't want.
This leads me to conclude the query letter is not up to par. I know the QL is supposed to have more of a "voice of the character/book" vibe, but am not exactly sure how to pull that off, and currently what I've got sounds too bland. Can someone help with some guidance on how to make my query letter more appealing to an agent? I've never been published before, so I only have my book to talk about, not any past publishing credentials.
Thank you so much! Here's what I've got:
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Dear [Agent Name],
Based on your interest in middle-grade science fiction, I feel you may enjoy THE UNIVERSE ESCAPERS, a 60,000-word sci-fi fantasy for a lower YA or upper MG audience.
After the destruction of Earth, the last human survivors live on a space station ruled over by a tyrant. Thirteen-year-old Amara and her friends Signy and Jorcan discover that Krant Krannis has arranged a sinister contract with alien entities--a contract that spells their death. Joined by Caleo, a loner unlike their classmates with a mysterious connection to the wider Multiverse, the friends steal Krannis's hidden spaceship and flee. Pursued across the galaxies, the friends struggle to know who to trust. Will they escape—or will captors put an end to their freedom?
THE UNIVERSE ESCAPERSappeals to middle-grade and younger YA readers who enjoy action, sci-fi, dystopia, and fantasy. This novel is a stand-alone, but I also have sequels planned. I hope you enjoy the first five pages below, and thank you for your consideration.
Best regards,
[My Name]
[Contact Info]
I really appreciate any help that anyone here could provide, and also apologize in advance if this post is in the wrong place.I've had about 20 rejections so far. This isn't hurtful at all; I know most authors get tons, and honestly I'm happy enough to have reached the querying stage instead of the "finish the novel" stage, so any response back from an agent feels good, even when it's a no. So I'm not upset about getting rejections, but I am trying to analyze what might be holding me back so that I can improve my approach.
I've had my novel professionally edited, and have been told by a contact who's spent 10-15 years in the publishing industry that the quality of my book is publishable and would be desirable to an agent seeking that genre/"type" of book. This isn't meant to be a humble-brag, but just to clarify that I'm not sending them a book full of grammatical errors, or something that's a ripoff of Harry Potter, or a trainwreck with no structure or bad pacing, etc. I also have only sent my novel to agents seeking YA/MG sci-fi/fantasy, so it's also not a matter of ignoring agent preferences and sending them genres they don't want.
This leads me to conclude the query letter is not up to par. I know the QL is supposed to have more of a "voice of the character/book" vibe, but am not exactly sure how to pull that off, and currently what I've got sounds too bland. Can someone help with some guidance on how to make my query letter more appealing to an agent? I've never been published before, so I only have my book to talk about, not any past publishing credentials.
Thank you so much! Here's what I've got:
----
Dear [Agent Name],
Based on your interest in middle-grade science fiction, I feel you may enjoy THE UNIVERSE ESCAPERS, a 60,000-word sci-fi fantasy for a lower YA or upper MG audience.
After the destruction of Earth, the last human survivors live on a space station ruled over by a tyrant. Thirteen-year-old Amara and her friends Signy and Jorcan discover that Krant Krannis has arranged a sinister contract with alien entities--a contract that spells their death. Joined by Caleo, a loner unlike their classmates with a mysterious connection to the wider Multiverse, the friends steal Krannis's hidden spaceship and flee. Pursued across the galaxies, the friends struggle to know who to trust. Will they escape—or will captors put an end to their freedom?
THE UNIVERSE ESCAPERSappeals to middle-grade and younger YA readers who enjoy action, sci-fi, dystopia, and fantasy. This novel is a stand-alone, but I also have sequels planned. I hope you enjoy the first five pages below, and thank you for your consideration.
Best regards,
[My Name]
[Contact Info]
