President Proposes Bold Weather-Engineering Strategy, Everything is Totally Fine

Kjbartolotta

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He wants to nuke hurricanes. To keep them from hitting the US.

President Trump has suggested multiple times to senior Homeland Security and national security officials that they explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes from hitting the United States, according to sources who have heard the president's private remarks and been briefed on a National Security Council memorandum that recorded those comments.

Behind the scenes: During one hurricane briefing at the White House, Trump said, "I got it. I got it. Why don't we nuke them?" according to one source who was there. "They start forming off the coast of Africa, as they're moving across the Atlantic, we drop a bomb inside the eye of the hurricane and it disrupts it. Why can't we do that?" the source added, paraphrasing the president's remarks.


Asked how the briefer reacted, the source recalled he said something to the effect of, "Sir, we'll look into that."
Trump replied by asking incredulously how many hurricanes the U.S. could handle and reiterating his suggestion that the government intervene before they make landfall.
The briefer "was knocked back on his heels," the source in the room added. "You could hear a gnat fart in that meeting. People were astonished. After the meeting ended, we thought, 'What the f---? What do we do with this?'"

Cool story, bro! I can't remember if anyone made a point about not trusting him with the nuclear arsenal.
 
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Introversion

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Trump, the stupid person's idea of a smart man.

Thing is, it's not that he's crazy for suggesting crazy stuff like this. It's just that he's deeply, deeply unsuited for a job like this. (Not actually sure what job he is suited for, other than grifting and conning easy marks.) Doesn't understand much about the world, deeply incurious, unable to learn, deeply insecure, certain that whatever brain farts he has are sheer brilliance. What could possibly go wrong, electing a man like that? /sarc
 

Brightdreamer

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This... is what they did in Sharknado, throwing explosives into tornadoes to stop them.

What he's suggesting is literally what they did in a campy made-for-TV movie about killer sharks in tornadoes, only on a bigger scale and with nukes.

And they still haven't taken the nuclear codes away from him and locked him in rubber room...
 

ElaineA

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Thing is, it's not that he's crazy for suggesting crazy stuff like this. It's just that he's deeply, deeply unsuited for a job like this.

This suggestion is so common there is an FAQ about it on the NOAA website. (Not that Trump read it there since he doesn't do computers OR read, but someone told him about it.)

This... is what they did in Sharknado, throwing explosives into tornadoes to stop them.

I read this on Twitter yesterday (alas, I have not seen Sharknado myself), and I immediately thought, "This is where he got the idea." I'd wager a lot he has watched that movie, and more than once.
 

Introversion

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(Not that Trump read it there since he doesn't do computers OR read, but someone told him about it.)

My money's on Twitter being that "someone".

Seriously, it's the kind of naive question a ten-year-old might have. Or your nutty crank uncle once he's third-beer in. You just don't expect either of those to be president, body-swapping Hollywood comedies aside.
 

Introversion

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I just want to remind you all: If the president says "launch the nukes", you launch the nukes. No Congress, no Senate, no vote, popular or otherwise. Nothing stops the president's order in such case. The protocol is meant that way.

Sssssssh! The first rule about Nukes Protocol is that you don't talk about Nukes Protocol. At least not where Orange Julius might hear...
 

Alpha Echo

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This kind of fits here, but it also fits in the Amazon fire thread.

45 skipped the G7 climate change discussion today.

This makes me irrationally angry. He's supposed to be representing US. THIS COUNTRY. And there are many, many of us here who would have liked to have representation during this kind of discussion. Of course, maybe it's better without him there. It's not like he could possibly have anything intellectual to add. See OP for reference. Argh.
 

Introversion

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I’m sure 45 approves of burning down the Amazon. It makes more pasture to raise his hamberder beasts. And I doubt he’s ever seen any natural place he didn’t think would be improved by being paved over.
 

Diana Hignutt

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I’m sure 45 approves of burning down the Amazon. It makes more pasture to raise his hamberder beasts. And I doubt he’s ever seen any natural place he didn’t think would be improved by being paved over.

Well, golf courses are natural, aren't they? It would be a crime to pave over a golf course, right?
 

cornflake

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It's not surprising he said it, as he's dumber than a box of sad, dumb rocks.

It's surprising so many people have come up with this 'plan' that NOAA has a section addressing it.

I'd much rather he stayed away from any international meeting. It's like involving a toddler in a board meeting. There's nothing to be gained and only distraction and annoyance on offer. Let the grownups talk. Honestly, I'd rather he spent all his time in the residence watching tv. Just sit and rant and twit and call Sean Hannity and order McDonalds and maybe it'll be ok.
 

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I read this on Twitter yesterday (alas, I have not seen Sharknado myself), and I immediately thought, "This is where he got the idea." I'd wager a lot he has watched that movie, and more than once.

If you do watch it, do the Rifftrax Live version. Totally worth it. (And they did Sharknado 2, as well. Which featured a brief cameo by Subway Jared - and they did their live riffing the day he was nabbed for the child pornography thing. As the audience groaned, they commented "We had a joke here yesterday, folks...")

Sorry. /derail

I'm still certain he only thinks of nuclear weapons as Very Big Booms. He has no concept of radiation or the true scale of destruction, just Boom Boom Look Everyone I Made A Big Noise And You Can't Ignore Big Noises WHEEE! I am, frankly, honestly surprised he hasn't used one yet, against a hurricane or a former trade partner or even against a blue state challenger, and figure it's only a matter of time.
 

PostHuman

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Hmm...just crazy enough to work. We are so lucky to have a stable genius running this country.
 

Introversion

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You just know that some Trump sycophant in the media will say, “If it hasn’t been tried, how do you naysayers know it wouldn’t work? Very creative thinking, Mr. Bestest Presidente Ever!”

My money’s on Tucker Carlson to finish first, with Sean Hannity placing a close second.
 

Kjbartolotta

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Now hear me out here.

Imagine that someone were to take the sharks and drop them into the hurricane, wouldn't that be enough mass added that it would actually lower the wind speeds? I think you all aren't giving this idea enough credence. The bombs will already have done most of the work, and chances are the only lightly-irradiated sharks will touch down off the coast when the storms wind themselves down.

I'm not sciency but I think this checks out.
 

Kjbartolotta

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I read this on Twitter yesterday (alas, I have not seen Sharknado myself), and I immediately thought, "This is where he got the idea." I'd wager a lot he has watched that movie, and more than once.

I see Sharknado as more Don Jr's type of fare. But then there are plenty of smart people who ALSO enjoy Sharknado (At least the first one, that scene where the dude jumped into the shark with the chainsaw was sick.)
 

neandermagnon

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My money's on Twitter being that "someone".

Seriously, it's the kind of naive question a ten-year-old might have. Or your nutty crank uncle once he's third-beer in. You just don't expect either of those to be president, body-swapping Hollywood comedies aside.

That's not really fair on ten-year-olds. My nine-year-old's response to Trump's idea: "Wait, what? That doesn't make sense."
 

Introversion

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My nine-year-old's response to Trump's idea: "Wait, what? That doesn't make sense."

Your kid's smart. He should be running the country. Or at least be put in charge of the nuclear football.
 

Roxxsmom

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Waiting for him to (if he ever accepts climate change is real) to propose a nuclear winter as the ideal way to offset global warming.

Even if it's not Trump, I fear someone will make that suggestion. Unless a supervolcano takes care of things first. Sadly, I am beginning to think the only "cure" for climate change is some manner of natural (or unnatural) disaster that substantially reduces the human population (and puts civilization back a few centuries, at least).

It makes me sick that events of the past three years, in the US and elsewhere, make such a catastrophe feel much closer than it has since the cold war ended.
 
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cbenoi1

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It's not like the US has not tried to alter the weather before. Cloud seeding by spraying silver dioxide and CO2 pellets comes to mind. It just has never worked out.

How about NOT spewing CO2 into the atmosphere by burning fossil fuels, for one?

-cb