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Hi all! I've reached the point of rewrites with my fantasy novel manuscript where the discerning eyes of a beta reader would be extraordinarily helpful. I'm looking for folks willing to give their (brutally) honest reactions to things like pacing, plotting, and character development. If there are recurring stylistic issues with the prose, I'd love to hear about those too.
The book is quite long, so if anyone is interested in a partial beta read I would still be very grateful for the help. "Part One," for instance, is about 54,000 words and contains the first set of story arcs.
I would also be interested in doing a beta swap if you have a fantasy, horror, or sci-fi manuscript of your own. Just hit me up below or via PM with a description and excerpt of your own work!
The first two chapters of my manuscript can be found here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uuZr43bPuJqa0WsgQStTfzsVr_xH8SmsSIuTgHxWuW0
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Z6bJoe8nCuTj4vunk6MVxyTQwG_b9_URHPeqw51sKE
(If you prefer audiobooks, here's a recording of the first one: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mvbwUtf0GtLjmMe4azmtmJMZnsMFBj_f/view)
A disastrous comet. A colonial insurrection. The suicide of a beloved religious leader. Strange times convince a group of fundamentalists that the world is ending. A rebel, a student, a refugee, and a theologian each discover a secret: it actually might be.
The empire stole everything from Anaiya, so she’s stolen their magic right back. Armed with namesong, she leads an assault to reclaim her home city, and prevails. Now Anaiya travels in disguise to the heart of the empire, risking her newfound freedom for the chance to save her captured brethren—and take down the empress herself.
When the Voice of God calls former witch hunter, now-professor Valius back to service to quell Anaiya’s rebellion, Valius refuses—and is framed for murder when the Voice inexplicably kills himself. Valius’s wife and daughter race to clear his name. He must decide if his freedom is worth the price of revealing secrets that could bring down the empire—secrets including his relationship with a fugitive warlock.
When loved ones disappear in the night and his mentor Valius is charged with treason, foreign transfer student Caian can no longer ignore the world outside the college. Before he can find a way to clear his professor’s name, however, Caian must confront his own (literal) demons with whom he once made a forgotten bargain. He hides from the memory of his true name, not realizing that suppressing its magic is killing him.
If refugee acolyte Inuvitu ever sings her true name, the magic that holds reality together will unravel. It might also save her father’s life. The imperial church she serves is concealing a man-made plague; they harvest names from the dying. When she crosses paths with Caian and Anaiya, two others holding the namesong, she sees hope for a cure—and the chance to bring down the empire responsible for so much pain.
Crises of faith, family, and belonging collide in this epic fantasy novel. SONG OF THE FALLEN is complete at 156,000 words. Fans of the magic-centered mysteries in Polk’s Witchmark and the cosmic worldbuilding of Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive should find much to love here.
The book is quite long, so if anyone is interested in a partial beta read I would still be very grateful for the help. "Part One," for instance, is about 54,000 words and contains the first set of story arcs.
I would also be interested in doing a beta swap if you have a fantasy, horror, or sci-fi manuscript of your own. Just hit me up below or via PM with a description and excerpt of your own work!
The first two chapters of my manuscript can be found here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uuZr43bPuJqa0WsgQStTfzsVr_xH8SmsSIuTgHxWuW0
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Z6bJoe8nCuTj4vunk6MVxyTQwG_b9_URHPeqw51sKE
(If you prefer audiobooks, here's a recording of the first one: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mvbwUtf0GtLjmMe4azmtmJMZnsMFBj_f/view)
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One-Page Description
One-Page Description
A disastrous comet. A colonial insurrection. The suicide of a beloved religious leader. Strange times convince a group of fundamentalists that the world is ending. A rebel, a student, a refugee, and a theologian each discover a secret: it actually might be.
The empire stole everything from Anaiya, so she’s stolen their magic right back. Armed with namesong, she leads an assault to reclaim her home city, and prevails. Now Anaiya travels in disguise to the heart of the empire, risking her newfound freedom for the chance to save her captured brethren—and take down the empress herself.
When the Voice of God calls former witch hunter, now-professor Valius back to service to quell Anaiya’s rebellion, Valius refuses—and is framed for murder when the Voice inexplicably kills himself. Valius’s wife and daughter race to clear his name. He must decide if his freedom is worth the price of revealing secrets that could bring down the empire—secrets including his relationship with a fugitive warlock.
When loved ones disappear in the night and his mentor Valius is charged with treason, foreign transfer student Caian can no longer ignore the world outside the college. Before he can find a way to clear his professor’s name, however, Caian must confront his own (literal) demons with whom he once made a forgotten bargain. He hides from the memory of his true name, not realizing that suppressing its magic is killing him.
If refugee acolyte Inuvitu ever sings her true name, the magic that holds reality together will unravel. It might also save her father’s life. The imperial church she serves is concealing a man-made plague; they harvest names from the dying. When she crosses paths with Caian and Anaiya, two others holding the namesong, she sees hope for a cure—and the chance to bring down the empire responsible for so much pain.
Crises of faith, family, and belonging collide in this epic fantasy novel. SONG OF THE FALLEN is complete at 156,000 words. Fans of the magic-centered mysteries in Polk’s Witchmark and the cosmic worldbuilding of Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive should find much to love here.
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