- Joined
- Feb 3, 2016
- Messages
- 1,210
- Reaction score
- 192
My diamond shoes are too tight, right?
I haven't written since June 2018. June 2018 was when I got my first publishing deal; just a small press deal for a novella. I got a Big 5 deal in December for a novel, and I thought that might give me a boost. It's made things worse.
Every sentence I write, I'm imagining editors reading it and judging it, and it's never good enough. So I sit and rewrite a single sentence over and over until I get too frustrated and go play a video game.
I know what the answer is: forget about editors and readers and just write. I can polish it later, right? It's probably not as bad as I think, anyway. But at the same time I know that I want this manuscript to be published, and editors WILL be reading it and judging it, and I want them to like it. I can't forget that, no matter how I try to kid myself.
I've tried writing other stuff, stuff that has no chance of ever being published and that no editor will ever see. The writing flowed just fine, and I had fun. But as soon as I'm working on my 'real' manuscript, I'm paralysed again.
I don't know what to do. I've spent a year trying different things: taking all the pressure off myself and having a break from thinking about writing; forcing myself to write every day no matter how slow or hard it is; working on different manuscripts; rewriting old manuscripts instead of new. It doesn't matter what I do - if I'm working on an MS that I want to be published, I can't do it. It's like wading through treacle.
Thank you for reading my self-pitying rant. If you have any ideas I would love to hear them!
I haven't written since June 2018. June 2018 was when I got my first publishing deal; just a small press deal for a novella. I got a Big 5 deal in December for a novel, and I thought that might give me a boost. It's made things worse.
Every sentence I write, I'm imagining editors reading it and judging it, and it's never good enough. So I sit and rewrite a single sentence over and over until I get too frustrated and go play a video game.
I know what the answer is: forget about editors and readers and just write. I can polish it later, right? It's probably not as bad as I think, anyway. But at the same time I know that I want this manuscript to be published, and editors WILL be reading it and judging it, and I want them to like it. I can't forget that, no matter how I try to kid myself.
I've tried writing other stuff, stuff that has no chance of ever being published and that no editor will ever see. The writing flowed just fine, and I had fun. But as soon as I'm working on my 'real' manuscript, I'm paralysed again.
I don't know what to do. I've spent a year trying different things: taking all the pressure off myself and having a break from thinking about writing; forcing myself to write every day no matter how slow or hard it is; working on different manuscripts; rewriting old manuscripts instead of new. It doesn't matter what I do - if I'm working on an MS that I want to be published, I can't do it. It's like wading through treacle.
Thank you for reading my self-pitying rant. If you have any ideas I would love to hear them!