Pronoun Question

regdog

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I have seen several tweets recently asking cis people to post their pronouns in their bios to help as allies. I've also seen other tweets and articles saying not to. I want to do the right thing and know the internet, particularly certain social media is a well of misinformation, filled with people deliberately misrepensenting themselves to further their bigoted agenda.

Thankfully, we have AW to get honest answers. Is it helpful for a cis person to identify their pronoun in their bios?

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Is it helpful for a cis person to identify their pronoun in their bios?

Thank you.

If you feel comfortable then do.

That said, there's a thing people sometimes forget about being female on the Internet; it's more hazardous.

Some Usernames are typically feminine, as which point there's nothing to be gained in terms of online safety by not identifying.
 

regdog

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Thank you. Internet safety is something to take into consideration.
 
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frimble3

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Now I'm curious, why is it helpful for cis persons to identify their pronoun on-line?
I've never thought about it, and my best guess is that it would normalize a pronoun preference, which would make trans people less 'unusual' .
Which is a good idea, but I have no idea if my guess is right.
 

BenPanced

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Helps do away with assumptions. Somebody could see me IRL with the long hair and the full-on beard, and they'd (correctly) guess "he/him". Sometimes, you could see somebody like me with the long hair and full-on beard but not realize their preference of "they/them" unless you're told. I have a friend who is transitioning as bi-gender and prefers "s/he - s/him", and states it in their Facebook profile (can't remember specified possessive right now, sorry). With the break-neck pace this is changing, it's starting to help by having these things stated upfront.
 

regdog

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Thank you, Ben
 

pharm

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I mostly present as my birth-assigned gender, but I’ve spent a lot of time working in LGBTQ health and community centers where all introductions begin with pronouns.
I also have trans family members and friends who have mentioned they appreciate the practice. Like Ben said, it helps to normalize the idea that gender is not the same as gender presentation. I think it also serves as a gentle way of reminding folks that using a person’s preferred pronouns is just common courtesy.

Anyway, seems like a very low-effort way to make the world a slightly less hostile place for trans, NB, and questioning people. If someone has safety reasons for not identifying their gender online, that’s of course completely understandable too.
 
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Now I'm curious, why is it helpful for cis persons to identify their pronoun on-line?
I've never thought about it, and my best guess is that it would normalize a pronoun preference, which would make trans people less 'unusual' .
Which is a good idea, but I have no idea if my guess is right.

That's part of it. It makes it SOP.

The other part is, as Ben indicated, that it helps if you have a non conforming gender presentation; it makes it easier for people to know your preference without the anxiety of asking (and it does makes some people anxious to ask; they really don't want to hurt anyone).
 

BenPanced

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Thank you, Ben


:hi: Hey, you're welcome.

The other part is, as Ben indicated, that it helps if you have a non conforming gender presentation; it makes it easier for people to know your preference without the anxiety of asking (and it does makes some people anxious to ask; they really don't want to hurt anyone).

As with everything regarding gender issues, I've known people to be very gracious in answering others' questions when they're asked from a place of general interest in correct information, and asked quietly and politely. It's when you deliberately continue to mis-gender a person after being corrected numerous times is when it becomes contentious. It's all about respect for your fellow person (see also: #1 Unwritten Law Of AW/Golden Rule).
 
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neandermagnon

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Someone close to me has recently come out as trans and made me realise how little I know and also how hopeless I am at pronouns. (amongst many other things and a lack of knowledge generally - albeit I thought I knew about it, at least from an academic point of view) I don't deliberately get pronouns wrong but it's really hard to get them right after you've known someone by a different name/pronouns for so long. It's further complicated by the fact this person isn't out with most people so depending on who else is around, I have to go back to the original pronouns. Any help and advice would be very welcome.

Sorry for being vague as to who the person is I don't want to accidentally out them and potentially expose them to hate and danger if someone works out who I am in real life from my username.
 

frimble3

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Thank you for all the insight and opinions.
It makes perfect sense that if everybody does it, then it's easier for those for whom it matters.
I am a cis/het woman, I am usually her/she in person, and whatever strikes people as suitable on-line. (Or I would have chosen a more gendered name.:) )
 
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regdog

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Thank you, pharm and neandermagnon. Like frimble, I appreciate your insight and input.
 

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It's further complicated by the fact this person isn't out with most people so depending on who else is around, I have to go back to the original pronouns. Any help and advice would be very welcome.

Just use the first name. I'm serious. Yes, it's odd looking in writing fiction to keep referring to the character's name, but in speech it's much less noticeable.
 

neandermagnon

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Just use the first name. I'm serious. Yes, it's odd looking in writing fiction to keep referring to the character's name, but in speech it's much less noticeable.

Never thought of that. Thank you. This helps. :)
 

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I've never thought about it, and my best guess is that it would normalize a pronoun preference, which would make trans people less 'unusual' .
Which is a good idea, but I have no idea if my guess is right.

This is pretty much it. Nail hit on the head. Bingo. Bullseye. All of that.