- Joined
- Feb 17, 2019
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 1
So, as the title says, I've been having problems with character descriptions that drag on. While yes, I feel it's essential to paint a good mental picture of the character for the reader I keep feeling like I do too much.
Example:
The first of them was someone called Pavuk, a Gorgoite. The demented, bipedal bug creature had sickly green chitin covering his body, his body was gangly and lean, and his tail swished and swayed behind him, tipped with a menacing scorpion tail. His legs were double-jointed like a bird’s, his neck long and his head was elongated and sporting a gaping, tooth filled maw with six arachnid eyes on his head. The xeno had four arms, the upper set having four hands while the lower set had three while his toes had four. He wore armor consisting of a leather bandolier and metal shoulder pads and loose-fitting green shorts. In terms of weapons Pavuk had two, a strange sort of rifle on his back and a shotgun in his upper arms, the soldier spotting a series of syringes and darts adhered to the bandoliers across his chest, though he had no idea what the alien would use them for.
Stuff like this. Is there a good way to either shorten descriptions for readers or is that sort of a "figure it out yourself" sort of deal?
Example:
The first of them was someone called Pavuk, a Gorgoite. The demented, bipedal bug creature had sickly green chitin covering his body, his body was gangly and lean, and his tail swished and swayed behind him, tipped with a menacing scorpion tail. His legs were double-jointed like a bird’s, his neck long and his head was elongated and sporting a gaping, tooth filled maw with six arachnid eyes on his head. The xeno had four arms, the upper set having four hands while the lower set had three while his toes had four. He wore armor consisting of a leather bandolier and metal shoulder pads and loose-fitting green shorts. In terms of weapons Pavuk had two, a strange sort of rifle on his back and a shotgun in his upper arms, the soldier spotting a series of syringes and darts adhered to the bandoliers across his chest, though he had no idea what the alien would use them for.
Stuff like this. Is there a good way to either shorten descriptions for readers or is that sort of a "figure it out yourself" sort of deal?