I hate my own writing and it's causing a block

Maybe this will help you. https://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?50-Outwitting-Writer-s-Block

saltylasagna said:

I used to love writing. I would have no problem cranking out pages and pages of work in a short time, but over the years I've started to really dislike my writing. I'm at a point where I hate it so much that I have trouble writing simple sentences because I don't like how they turn out. I don't like the structure, the word choice, etc. And I can never think of a way to rewrite it. I can't write short stories anymore, I'm stuck on my novel, and I haven't written a single song in years. Please help me overcome this, it's becoming a huge problem and it's just getting worse. I'll appreciate any advice you can throw my way.

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Did something happen to trigger this?

What's worked (sometimes) for me is to sit down and write something I have no intention of showing to anyone else. It's easier to ignore my inner critic that way. But it's rough to get past something like this. Be kind to yourself.

It sounds like you need to take a break. I know with acting, anyone can begin to hate exactly what they've adored for years because the grind really gets to you. That's the perfect time to take a hiatus, learn a new skill or hobby and enjoy other things. Come back when you're ready. It'll still be there.

birdy50 said:

It sounds like you need to take a break. I know with acting, anyone can begin to hate exactly what they've adored for years because the grind really gets to you. That's the perfect time to take a hiatus, learn a new skill or hobby and enjoy other things. Come back when you're ready. It'll still be there.

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Was going to say the same thing. Sometimes time away works wonders. There's no point in continuing to do something if it only causes you pain, and you can return to it when you're ready.

lizmonster said:

Did something happen to trigger this?

What's worked (sometimes) for me is to sit down and write something I have no intention of showing to anyone else. It's easier to ignore my inner critic that way. But it's rough to get past something like this. Be kind to yourself.

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This.

Usually my go-to for "stuff I will never show to anybody" is fanfiction. Or, alternatively, a sloppy narrative about what's happening in my Sims game.

But if you need time where you aren't pressuring yourself to write anything at all, take it. Nothing stifles creativity worse than sitting in a chair and telling yourself, "Be creative now!"

As far as not liking what you write when you used to love it, I think that shows growth as a writer. You're better at the craft, and you can recognize when things don't work. Give yourself permission to write it anyway so you can keep improving.

I hit a point years ago where my writing pace slowed dramatically. It never did get back up to those old speeds. I just can't write that fast and be happy with it anymore. And that's okay. Styles and approaches change. Success isn't measured in word output.

Hey saltylasagna, I sent you a private message.

saltylasagna said:

Yeah, but even if I know I'm not showing it to anyone else, it doesn't help. It's not good enough for me because I have such high standards for myself for some reason, and they're just getting higher and higher and I don't know how to stop it. I used to be fine with my writing style and all that, but now I'm just not.

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Isn't that where I posted this thread?

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Yep, sorry.

saltylasagna said:

I used to love writing. I would have no problem cranking out pages and pages of work in a short time, but over the years I've started to really dislike my writing. I'm at a point where I hate it so much that I have trouble writing simple sentences because I don't like how they turn out. I don't like the structure, the word choice, etc. And I can never think of a way to rewrite it. I can't write short stories anymore, I'm stuck on my novel, and I haven't written a single song in years. Please help me overcome this, it's becoming a huge problem and it's just getting worse. I'll appreciate any advice you can throw my way.

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Honestly the only thing that helps me is to identify, in a concrete way, what *specifically* I don't like about what I'm looking at. If I can't do it in my head, I have to write it out--"I don't like this because it sounds like an oversimplification" or "something sounds off about the rhythm of the sentence" or "I don't think this undead/kobold sex scene really works, it sounds tedious and overwrought." You know. Whatever.

If I cannot identify it, I try to get other people's eyes on it to help me. This is often discouraging in itself, because maybe there's a giant pile of issues to work on. But it can also lead to the Naming of them, the numbering of things which you can then do something to solve. Maybe you don't know *how* to solve it, but you can try things. You know where to aim. The general "god I hate this whole thing" is broken down into little parts, and the littleness of the parts sometimes helps.

But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the entire tone, narrative, idea, plot, etc just seems awful. The thing seems irredeemable. This is when I a) walk away, or b) if I've already walked away and come back and I still hate it, I work on it in very short bursts of time. Very very short. Progress is painfully slow. Sometimes there is no progress.

Sometimes things just suck. And then I don't write.

Like lizmonster said, it has to be worth it. If you don't get anything out of it, you don't need to continue. You can always come back to it if the desire strikes.

saltylasagna said:

Yeah, but even if I know I'm not showing it to anyone else, it doesn't help. It's not good enough for me because I have such high standards for myself for some reason, and they're just getting higher and higher and I don't know how to stop it. I used to be fine with my writing style and all that, but now I'm just not.

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Are you sure you don't think your writing is good enough or could it possibly be it's your inner editor who doesn't think so? Standards getting "higher and higher" leading to paralysis seems an awful lot like your inner editor is holding you hostage. He's a mean sucker, too. He'll tell you that you aren't good enough, that you aren't where should be "by now", he'll point to published authors as examples, and if you let him continue he. won't. ever. shut. up. You already know something isn't quite right but he'll keep harping on it until you give up in despair.

How can anyone know whether something is bad until it's finished? (Tell that to your inner editor just like he's a real person and keep going.)

You might want to search for strategies on shutting up your inner editor. No one thing works for everyone but I read an article several years ago that suggested that you type "FIX" after the offending word choice, phrase, or sentence and keep writing. Because of my poor eyesight, I do it this way so I won't overlook it when revising: [FIX]. Sometimes, continuing to write will jog loose what I wanted there and I can fix it then; other times, I'll have to ponder a bit while I'm reading the entire piece or simply let it sit for a while until the fix comes to me. I'll always come up with something better or even something that's practically perfect.

I don't mean to sound flippant but it will probably come across that way.

Don't hold yourself to such high standards. Allow yourself to write crap. Words can change.

Here is a short story that illustrates my point.

A guy went in to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what's wrong.
The guy said, "well doctor every time I poke myself in my chest it hurts."

"mmmm...." The doctor leaned in and listened to his breathing and heart, "let me ask you this, does your chest hurt when you don't poke it?"

"well, no..." said the patient.

"Then I have the cure for you", said the doctor, "Stop poking it."

Maybe get drunk and write? Sometimes that first hurdle is the biggest one.