Insight on fighting the tendency to use filtering in close third person

mewellsmfu

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
488
Reaction score
194
I'm using close third person in my never-ending novel and have been fairly successful at avoiding filtering, but sometimes I'm baffled at how to get around it. Any advice?

I am finding this very tricky going, so thanks in advance for any advice, opinions and just plain old ordinary commiseration.

MEW
 

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 5, 2012
Messages
14,536
Reaction score
24,104
Location
Massachusetts
Website
elizabethbonesteel.com
I'm using close third person in my never-ending novel and have been fairly successful at avoiding filtering, but sometimes I'm baffled at how to get around it. Any advice?

I am finding this very tricky going, so thanks in advance for any advice, opinions and just plain old ordinary commiseration.

MEW

Zero filtering may not be a practical goal. And filtering can add voice and rhythm. Yeah, many writers use too much of it, but it has its place.
 

Kat M

Ooh, look! String!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
951
Reaction score
627
Location
Puget Sound
I try to take "close third" as literally as possible.

So when I find myself writing She felt sick to her stomach, I try to put myself right there in her shoes. What did that feel like, exactly? Can I write it more succintly, with "stomach" as the subject of the sentence? Her stomach twisted. Her stomach knotted. Her stomach plummeted. Or, Oh no. She was going to throw up. She kneaded her stomach, forcing herself to take deep breaths.

Not, mind you, that I'm much of an expert on this.
 

mrsmig

Write. Write. Writey Write Write.
Staff member
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 4, 2012
Messages
9,884
Reaction score
7,172
Location
Virginia
Agree with lizmonster. Sometimes the character's experience of seeing, hearing, feeling etc. is just as important as what they're seeing, hearing, feeling, etc.
 

soulrodeo

Banned
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
99
Reaction score
23
There are exceptions to every rule. Small doses.
 

Layla Nahar

Seashell Seller
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
7,655
Reaction score
913
Location
Seashore
Sometimes people give you crits not based on thier own reaction to your words but based on thier understanding of what is correct (all those things like 'don't use was' that sort of thing. fwiw)
 

Ari Meermans

MacAllister's Official Minion & Greeter
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
12,854
Reaction score
3,055
Location
Not where you last saw me.
Think of what a filter is: a screen that removes something and that "something" in close third POV is the character's perceptions. When you filter in close third you're taking a step back from the character and inserting the perceptions of the author-as-narrator. You are, in effect, causing your reader to watch the character with the narrator instead of experiencing the action with the character, or over the character's shoulder so to speak.

Some thoughts that might help with writing in close third:

  • Limit the narrative to only what the character can see, hear, think, or know. (You might have to stop and ask yourself from time to time how your character can know or see that.)
  • Ask yourself what would my character think about that? (Show it instead of writing "she thought".)
  • Keep the language of the narrative to the language your character would use; i.e., your character's syntax and grammar.

Just a note: Don't confuse close third POV with deep POV. Deep POV is only a tool for use in close third; reserve it for intense action and high emotion moments such as your character's blackest hour.
 

Maryn

Sees All
Staff member
Super Moderator
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
55,447
Reaction score
25,468
Location
Snow Cave
I have a handout on filtering I've shared in critiques. Not that I'm some hotshot expert. It just assembles what's helped me identify it in my own work. Sometimes I leave it in purposefully, but it's good to know it's a decision, not just one I didn't spot.

Filtering occurs when the author tells the reader which of the senses the character used to gain information, or that s/he used the brain to reach conclusions, find correlations, etc. In good writing, the author trusts the reader to figure out a character knows there was a sound because she heard it, rather than telling the reader she heard it.

If the author filters everything through the point of view character, it creates psychic distance between what the character experiences and the reader. The sense of immediacy, of the reader feeling as if he's right there, is diminished.

Instead of the author sharing the means by which the character experienced whatever she did, the author should cut directly to the experience, making it the subject of the sentence rather than the character (or a representative pronoun) being the subject. (Note that in first person narrative, removing filtering also removes a substantial use of the word "I," with considerable improvement.)

Filtering is the difference between
Susan heard the door creak. She wondered who was there. She noticed the scents of lavender and dust in the still air. “Grandma?” she said. She felt her heart race.
and
The door creaked. Who was there? Lavender and dust scented the still air. “Grandma?” Susan's heart raced.

That’s 30 words versus 17, and filtered-through-Susan distance versus immediacy.

Filtering can usually be spotted by the words that do it, although not all uses of these words are filtering. Search for knew, thought, considered, regarded, wondered, noticed, was aware, sensed, felt, saw, hoped, realized, smelled, heard and it seemed, looked like, appeared, was obvious/apparent. Decide on a case-by-case basis whether it's there to filter the point-of-view character's experience, and if it is, you can opt to rewrite it.
 

mewellsmfu

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
488
Reaction score
194
I'm pretty good about at avoiding filtering. Where I faltered was in describing things through my MC's senses, but your example, Maryn, perfectly explained that. I worried that I was somehow crossing the line, but seems like I was on the right track. I thank you and everyone for their answers.

I've written a lot of nonfiction, but fiction is a completely different discipline in a sense. Sometimes I feel as though I am learning to write all over again. It's both enjoyable and maddening.

MEW
 

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
23,083
Reaction score
10,778
Location
Where faults collide
Website
doggedlywriting.blogspot.com
There are plenty of ways to minimize filtering. The most basic is to omit the "he saw," or "she heard" or "she thought" etc. and simply describe what the viewpoint character saw, heard, thought etc.

Instead of Sue heard a footstep crunch in the gravel behind her, you could write A footstep crunched in the driveway behind her.

Keeping deixis or pointing words still keeps it centered on Sue without needing that filter.

Sometimes you don't even need a pointing word.

Bob thought Stu was a total jerk, or Stu was a total jerk, Bob thought, you could simply write, Stu was a total jerk.

If you're writing in limited third, the narrative opinions are those of the viewpoint character, not the outside narrator. The outside narrator is trying to be invisible and portraying things through the viewpoint character's eyes and in their voice (to a point, anyway). The deeper the narrative viewpoint, the more you do this with the voice.

However, many successful and well-reviewed published writers still use tons of filtering, even in limited third, so it's clearly not the kiss of death many think it is.

This is still my favorite article (by writer Juliette Wade) about the techniques for increasing narrative depth.

http://talktoyouniverse.blogspot.com/2011/11/checklist-for-deep-pov-in-1st-or-3rd.html
 

litdawg

Helping those who help themselves
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
873
Reaction score
562
Location
California
I've been editing my manuscript and reducing, not eliminating, the filtering in it. My inexperienced rationale for leaving some filtering in was related to personal experience--some times I'm aware of myself doing things, thinking things, experiencing things. If the metacognitive element of the experience is the experience I want to convey, the filtering stays.

Other than that, I'm trying hard to learn the lessons Kat, Ari, Maryn, and Roxxsmom presented here.
 

Maryn

Sees All
Staff member
Super Moderator
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
55,447
Reaction score
25,468
Location
Snow Cave
Does that mean we can borrow that cool hat once in a while?
 

mewellsmfu

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
488
Reaction score
194
Thanks to everyone in this thread. After a lot of research, I've made some changes to my approach and this was very helpful and quite educational. Once again, I bow to the collective wisdom and good will of AW.
 

litdawg

Helping those who help themselves
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
873
Reaction score
562
Location
California
Does that mean we can borrow that cool hat once in a while?

But your avatar already has great headgear;)

The hat is available to ALL who've gained more wisdom from their mileage than their years.:Hail:
 

Coddiwomple

shipwrecked in antiquity
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
1,310
Location
Far away
The hat is available to ALL who've gained more wisdom from their mileage than their years.:Hail:

Dang it! I stole your hat and put it on my horse but I don't have the permissions to post the proof.

*Coddi slinks away, sulking*
 

litdawg

Helping those who help themselves
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
873
Reaction score
562
Location
California
There. That's better.

OMG--that's awesome! I should mention that the hat is crushable felt, meaning that you can squish it into luggage when traveling incognito. Pull it out at your destination, and voila--adventures await!
 

Coddiwomple

shipwrecked in antiquity
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
1,310
Location
Far away
OMG--that's awesome! I should mention that the hat is crushable felt, meaning that you can squish it into luggage when traveling incognito. Pull it out at your destination, and voila--adventures await!

It's probably a good thing I don't have permission to upload photos because I would GIVE HATS TO EVERYONE!!!! LITDAWG HATS!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Breathe, Coddi, breathe. It's okay. Calm down*
 

talktidy

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 14, 2014
Messages
896
Reaction score
86
Location
Fabulous Sweyn's Eye
I adopted the avoid filtering thing and then found it slowed my writing down to a crawl. For first drafts, these days I filter like a lunatic, because at least I get the story down. Revisions are where that gets cleaned up.