MG WRITING QUESTION

LUNABLUE

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Hi, Ive written a MG fantasy book that is both fun and serious. The main character is able to transform anyone and anything but with wonky powers sometimes things go awry.

In the story she transforms her nemesis into a toad. She helps another child regain her eyesight and she turns rain to glitter. But there is a key part of the story where she transforms her nemesis, who is a cheerleader, and makes her fat. This leads to a whole world of hurt and takes them both on a journey of discovery.

I’m wondering if the fat transformation would be frowned upon ?

All insight and thoughts greatly appreciated.

Lunablue.
 

mccardey

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Hi, Ive written a MG fantasy book that is both fun and serious. The main character is able to transform anyone and anything but with wonky powers sometimes things go awry.

In the story she transforms her nemesis into a toad. She helps another child regain her eyesight and she turns rain to glitter. But there is a key part of the story where she transforms her nemesis, who is a cheerleader, and makes her fat. This leads to a whole world of hurt and takes them both on a journey of discovery.

I’m wondering if the fat transformation would be frowned upon ?

All insight and thoughts greatly appreciated.

Lunablue.

On balance I would be staying a very long way away from that. You would need some very specific knowledge and tools to make it a positive addition to the library shelf, and I think if you had those tools you wouldn't be asking the internetz.
 

cornflake

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Hi, Ive written a MG fantasy book that is both fun and serious. The main character is able to transform anyone and anything but with wonky powers sometimes things go awry.

In the story she transforms her nemesis into a toad. She helps another child regain her eyesight and she turns rain to glitter. But there is a key part of the story where she transforms her nemesis, who is a cheerleader, and makes her fat. This leads to a whole world of hurt and takes them both on a journey of discovery.

I’m wondering if the fat transformation would be frowned upon ?

All insight and thoughts greatly appreciated.

Lunablue.

I think it depends nearly entirely on how it's handled, but it'd be so tricky, I'd think hard before doing that.
 

LUNABLUE

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Thank you both for the feedback. Much appreciated.
 

Barbara R.

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You'd probably be accused of fat-shaming and of promoting body-image neuroses...Probably not your intent at all, but it's a bit of a minefield.
 

KBooks

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But there is a key part of the story where she transforms her nemesis, who is a cheerleader, and makes her fat. This leads to a whole world of hurt and takes them both on a journey of discovery.
I’m wondering if the fat transformation would be frowned upon ?

Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I think even if you didn't mean it that way, it could send some really hurtful messages. What if she gave her purple elf ears, or something more fantasy-based?
 

mrsmig

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Yeah, I think turning the antag into a fat person as a way of humiliating her is a bad idea - although it opens up some interesting possibilities if being turned into a fat person somehow changes the antag's life for the better.
 

Kat M

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If I were pre-reading that book for my students, I'd reject it immediately because of that (unless it was well-done, and see above).
I do, however, suggest you combine KBooks and mrsmig's advice. Make it a more fantasy-based image alteration, and then use it to change antag's life for the better. If you did so without getting preachy, I'd be all over that book for my students.

Good luck! :)
 

Tigerlilly79

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Please don't do this to the poor fat children. They have enough problems. It's a fantasy so do something fantastical like give her an animal tail, or scaly dragon skin, or big ugly boils.
 

Undercover

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Yeah, I agree this would be a wrong turn here. I would bring more of the magical element out.
 

MaryLennox

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Like others have said - it's fantasy, therefore there are SO MANY other options!!! Please do not make a nemesis fat in order to punish them. That'd just be wrong on so many levels. Even if it was done in a way where they learn that there's nothing wrong with being fat and they learn to love themselves and it's supposed to be about self-love, I feel like many teachers and parents wouldn't even bother reading it after reading the general description. Also, there are so many other ways to approach a book that promotes self-love and acceptance. Making a cheerleader fat is not one of them.
 
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LUNABLUE

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Thank you all very much for the feedback. Greatly appreciated. I’ve revised and I’m going with a fantasy theme for the transformation.
 

Pat Waldron

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Please don't chicken out of this, get some sensitivity Beta Readers for the Fat thing. So many people are overweight and in denial about how it happens. The medical answer is to lose weight. You can treat the issue however you want but don't hide it under a rock.

I had a student once who had a super hero who could change the sex of other people. It gets the idea out there, huh?
 

mccardey

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Please don't chicken out of this, get some sensitivity Beta Readers for the Fat thing. So many people are overweight and in denial about how it happens. The medical answer is to lose weight. You can treat the issue however you want but don't hide it under a rock.

I had a student once who had a super hero who could change the sex of other people. It gets the idea out there, huh?
It's not a question of 'chickening out' - it's about not doing harm. And if A Single Book could solve everyone's individual issues, that would be wonderful. But it hasn't happened yet.
 

Ellis Clover

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Hey Lunablue, I think everybody's on the money here and if I could make one more suggestion - please don't give the character a skin condition (boils or anything else). Acne is also a part of many kids' lives - mine started at 10. It's painful and embarrassing enough without being further stigmatised!
 

Debbie V

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I'm bothered by this because the question and answers assume that cheerleaders can't be fat in the first place. A Google search says this depends on where you look. Here's one example: https://www.pressreader.com/.

That said, I feel like this has been done before though I can't point a finger at a specific case. Many works of fiction have a quick transformation that teaches a character a lesson about who they were before that corries forth as the physical realities return to normal.

If having the character become fat has a real purpose to your story themes and plot, do your research and find betas. If it was just an easy transformation to work with, I agree with your decision to change it.