Is giving too many men the title "Mr." repetitive?

The Second Moon

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My MG short story collection is told from a twelve-year old boy's POV. He lives with an inventor who he calls Mr. Thomas. Mr. Thomas has a friend who MC boy calls Mr. Willis. There is also the MC's friend's dad who he calls Mr. Chad.

Would reading this get too repetitive? (There is also a Dr. Dan and a Ms. Elouise.)

I feel like the MC boy has to call them Mr. because that's how he was raised by Mr. Thomas, but I don't want to confuse my MG readers. I mean the names Thomas, Chad, and Willis don't look or sound the same, but would adding Mr. in front of those names get confusing?

Thanks in advance. (Feel free to move this thread somewhere else if it doesn't belong here. I wasn't sure if this was a Basic Writing question or a Grammar and Syntax question).
 

starrystorm

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To me, as one who has read snippets of your story, I'll admit it did slow me down. I think just Mr. Thomas is fine.
 

KBooks

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My two cents.

If he's 12, it's probably past the age where I think he'd be using it. Often by the time kids hit preteens, they're dropping the "Miss Sharon" and just avoiding addressing the adult by name altogether, saying "Thanks" or "Could I have a glass of water, please?" Teachers in school are Mrs. LastName because that's the system. It would be easy to avoid the issue in your manuscript altogether and just not have him address the adults by name.

With regards to Mr. Thomas, that's the one where I would especially think he would have long ago dropped the "Mr." if they're living together and he's more of a foster parent than anything.
 
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TellMeAStory

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It depends on how MC was raised. If you want to show him as a conservatively brought up little boy, then his use of titles shows a lot about his character.

If he's a run-of-the-mill kid, he'll be doing as KBooks suggested--avoiding names and titles whenever possible.
 

The Second Moon

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Yeah, I guess he would have outgrown the "Mr." phase like most kids his age, but I still think I'm going to keep Mr. Thomas. I would feel wrong to just call him Thomas.
 

cornflake

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Are those all first names? I assumed Thomas was his last name, but I'm not from the south.

As far as I know the Mr./Ms./Whatever FirstName is an entirely southern (or thereabouts) thing. I don't love kids calling adults by their first names, especially if they haven't been instructed to, so I'm fine with the titles, and I agree it suggests something about how they're raised, but the title first name reads childish and odd to me, but I didn't grow up with it. Dr. Smith, Ms. Jones, just like you'd call a teacher doesn't, but if he is southern then... it's about the character.
 
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KBooks

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SecondMoon, why would it feel weird to just call him Thomas? Hasn't he been serving as pseudo-foster parent for 7 years now?
 

Girlsgottawrite

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When you're a kid, the Mr. and Mrs. become part of the adults names. I called my mom's best friend Mrs. Suter until I was in my thirties and she told me to stop. And it was still weird calling her by her first name. It also depends on the period your writing in. If it's current, having him drop the Mr. and Mrs. wouldn't be as unusual as if it took place in the 1800s.

I'm not sure how to fix the repetition of it, except to maybe use the character's names less or have one the characters be called by their first name. It does seem right to me that he would continue to refer to them by the titles he grew up with. I'd be curious to see how other writers have tackled this issue.

As far as I know the Mr./Ms./Whatever FirstName is an entirely southern (or thereabouts) thing.
This makes me laugh because I live in the south and I just thought everyone did this. :) All the kids of our friends call us Mr. Mrs. with our first names.
 

ironmikezero

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Agree with the notion that Mr. Firstname & Miss Firstrname are southern cultural aspects of familiar address that are indicative of respect--and not just for kids; most well regarded adults, especially older/senior, are thus respectfully acknowledged even by other adults. It's a comfortable and pleasant civility that one can become used to with ease.
 

Chris P

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Agree with the notion that Mr. Firstname & Miss Firstrname are southern cultural aspects of familiar address that are indicative of respect--and not just for kids; most well regarded adults, especially older/senior, are thus respectfully acknowledged even by other adults. It's a comfortable and pleasant civility that one can become used to with ease.

This, from my past life in Mississippi. I called my kids' youth group leader "Miss Sandra" even though she was younger than me because that was how I learned her name was used. The Mr/Miss (even married women can be "miss" or "mz" in familiar situations) becomes invisible very shortly. It's slightly more common among the African Americans, but not exclusive to that demographic by any means (Miss Sandra was white, for example).

ETA: growing up in the upper midwest, ALL teachers were Mr, Miss or Mrs Lastname ONLY. Big bad stuff to use the teacher's first name. Again, it was invisible and if your story takes place in this context it's not only invisible, it's expected.
 
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The Second Moon

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SecondMoon, why would it feel weird to just call him Thomas? Hasn't he been serving as pseudo-foster parent for 7 years now?

I guess that's because the name "Mr. Thomas" is sort of in both the MC's and Thomas' comfort zones. It shows respect for Thomas, but also adds the casualness of his first name.

Oh. I should have mentioned that Thomas is his first name. So are Chad, Willis, Dan, and Elouise.

Yes, the story takes place in the south, but the only reason for that is because I needed alligators to be a natural animal. (BTW, I've lived my whole life in the south)
 

EvilPenguin

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I've been reading pages for a critique partner recently where the Mr./Mrs. titles are used a lot for some of the side characters and ended up being really confused as to which character was which. All of the characters with those titles kind of blended together for me.... One of my suggestions was to make sure the characters are wildly different from each other, both in the way they speak and their physical appearance to help differentiate between them. I'd also suggest trying to limit the use of those titles as often as possible. I think it'd be perfectly fine to keep it as Mr. Thomas and maybe not use those titles for the other characters. Or, only use those titles when the MC is addressing those characters directly in dialogue.
 

Tazlima

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I moved to the U.S. south as an adult, and the Mr./Miss First-Name thing definitely took some getting used to.

The funny part was that I adjusted fairly quickly to OTHER people being called Mr./Miss First Name - the landlady of my first apartment was an elderly woman known to all as "Miss Rose," and I never batted an eye at that. Come to think of it... I never even learned her last name.

The difficult part was adjusting to being called "Miss Tazlima myself," particularly when people introduced me to their children that way. It definitely felt weird at first, but now I don't bat an eye.

If anything, now that I'm familiar with the practice, it's the use of "Ms." that would throw me. Any time I've heard the southern "Mr./Miss" thing used, it's ALWAYS "Miss" for women, regardless of age or marital status. That may be different, though, in different parts of the south.

I'd leave it in simply because it's such a ubiquitous part of southern culture, just as I would expect a story set in Japan to use "San" for a similar level of formality.
 
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cornflake

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I moved to the U.S. south as an adult, and the Mr./Miss First-Name thing definitely took some getting used to.

The funny part was that I adjusted fairly quickly to OTHER people being called Mr./Miss First Name - the landlady of my first apartment was an elderly woman known to all as "Miss Rose," and I never batted an eye at that. Come to think of it... I never even learned her last name.

The difficult part was adjusting to being called "Miss Tazlima myself," particularly when people introduced me to their children that way. It definitely felt weird at first, but now I don't bat an eye.

If anything, now that I'm familiar with the practice, it's the use of "Ms." that would throw me. Any time I've heard the southern "Mr./Miss" thing used, it's ALWAYS "Miss" for women, regardless of age or marital status. That may be different, though, in different parts of the south.

I'd leave it in simply because it's such a ubiquitous part of southern culture, just as I would expect a story set in Japan to use "San" for a similar level of formality.

The people in the tread talking about using Mrs. are throwing me. I don't think I've said that in my life, and don't even recall the last time I heard anyone referred to that way. I grew up with Mr./Ms. and past kindergarten (That teacher I loved and was Miss LastName) and elderly relatives who used Miss/Master on envelopes and things to kids, thus has always been.