Calling All Empaths-

inkythoughts

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I consider myself to be somewhat of an emotional empath. I'm not requesting this information for sci-fi/fantasy/magic genres. I'm creating this thread for real experiences, because my fiction novel will focus on how these things happen in the real world, not necessarily in a fantasy world. I've done my own research, but I'd like first-hand accounts on this subject. I've combed through some of what is already on AW about empaths, but it was a long and tedious process, and most of it leaned towards the genres in which I'm not writing. Anything more scientific leaned towards specific micro-expression reading and things of that nature. I’ve had pretty intense experiences, even if I’m not physically with the person or visibly see them. So, I’d like to find out what others have experienced as well!

And for any non-believers, you are welcome as well! This post would do well with some controversial debate on the topic because that's helpful too.


So my main questions for all of you empaths:

-What type of empath do you believe yourself to be? (i.e. emotional empath, physical empath, intuitive empath, etc.)

-How does it feel to you? To feel the emotions of someone else? How do you recognize that they're not your own?

-How do you control it? How do you mentally block the emotions of others?

-Did you always know you were a little different? Or did it just feel like a general sense- an intuition of your environment?

-Did you have a sort of awakening/realization about yourself? Was there any sort of journey leading up to that revelation?

-Do have any experiences in particular that you'd like to share?


Some questions for the non-believers:

-What puts you off about this topic?

-What experience and/or research do you have against the topic?


Some questions for all:

-What scientific research do you have on these topics? (i.e. creativity, emotional-sensitivity, intuition, sixth-senses, empaths, etc.) All research is welcomed, even if it does not necessarily focus on humans, but rather these senses in animals.


If anyone has any more questions they think would help the discussion, let me know and I'll add them to the list. Or if anyone feels some questions are too ambiguous, also let me know and I'll try to fix that!

If anyone has book recommendations, research articles, narrative articles, websites, or specific threads on AW, feel free to let me know or link them! Like I said, I've done much of my own research, but new sources are always welcome!
 
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Siri Kirpal

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Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

I'll tell you some of my experiences, rather than answering specifics.

First story: Sometime in the 1980s, after I'd been doing kundalini yoga for awhile, I was walking down a residential street on my way to downtown when I felt a sudden surge of anger. Less than a minute later, a car careened down the street (there was no other traffic) and the occupants were screaming at each other and fighting.

Second story: I once heard myself (silently) screaming, "_____, stop what you're doing! NOW!" I hate to use the telephone, but I tried calling this person anyway, but didn't have the correct number. Learned later, that he was molesting little girls.

Third story:
I had a sick feeling when my mother told me she wanted to have a open heart surgery for a heart valve replacement. (Mom's youngest sister and the only member of that generation to practice yoga had that same sick feeling too.) I couldn't tell Mom how to live her life, so I said nothing. The surgery was technically successful, but it left my brilliant mother with a weakened mind. Basically, my mother is dead, but there's no closure.

I can sometimes hear when people are lying. And can sometimes tell when a person is about to die. Twice, I've felt a weird depression that had nothing to do with me, and later learned that a friend had died at that time. One of those was a suicide of a close friend.

I sometimes know what to say or do with a person, even when I don't know why. As in, I once told a woman who was convinced three of her children were dead (they were refugees) that she should put their photos up in the house, because they would live as long as she remembered them. Turned out, the lady was suicidal because she'd given her permission for those kids to escape the way they did. I'd said the one thing that would prevent that.

However, none of this works if I'm trying too hard. It tends to take being in an open and relatively relaxed state.

Hope that helps.

Oh, yes. There are occasions when I know I need to check my email or come in here to AW. More often than not, there's something I need to address or someone who's trying to contact me.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal
 

L M Ashton

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I'm not sure this is empathy exactly, but if not, it's certainly related.

I'm chronically ill and in chronic pain. The husband works from home (I don't work), so we're always around each other. Always. Oddly enough, more than 90% of the time, if I have a headache, he also has one in the exact same part of the head (I have all sorts of different types of headaches that hurt in different places in different ways - his match mine). If my right knee hurts, his will, too. If I feel a twinge in my back, so will he. And on and on and on. It's fairly bizarre. He just picks up on everything.

If we're both feeling tired and headachy, I'll take a nap and he'll suddenly feel better.

One time, his parents and his brother & wife came for a visit. Suddenly, the husband started feeling really really tired and fuzzy headed. The brother and his wife went for a nap in one of the rooms. When they woke up, he was fine.
 

MadAlice

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We can call it empathy or what-have-you, but I'll tell you about some things I experience.

How does it feel to you? To feel the emotions of someone else?
Generally I just feel the "mood" of a room. It feels like people put out positive energy or negative energy and I pick up on it. If someone else is grumpy, I can get grumpy. Sometimes, in a group of people, one will be smiling and chatting along with the rest of them but it feels like there are huge iron spikes shooting out from that one person in all directions sort of like an iron-quilled porcupine. Smiling on the outside, screaming on the inside is how they seem to me.
How do you recognize that they're not your own?
I usually don't unless it's super intense.

That's all I want to share here, but there are several empath support groups on facebook, at least one of which is open and not closed, in which members share experiences.
 

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Generally I just feel the "mood" of a room. It feels like people put out positive energy or negative energy and I pick up on it. If someone else is grumpy, I can get grumpy.

My own little bit of empathy is similar to this. I don't claim to be an empath by any means, but I can sometimes sense what type of mood someone else is in and it'll influence my own mood. Also, there have been a couple of times in my life when I had an immediate negative feeling about another person that I had just met. In almost all of those cases, something pretty crappy happened later on that involved that person.
 

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I wouldn't consider myself an empath. I'm lousy at reading a room and am often baffled by people's behavior... but my mother's convinced I'm an empath of some stripe, or at least, that I was as a child.

When I was a kid, maybe six or seven, Mom was feeling a little ill and stopped by my room to tell me she was going to the doctor and would be back in an hour or so. Upon hearing this, I got horribly upset and started sobbing inconsolably (very unusual behavior for me). She assurred me that it was nothing serious and she'd be back by dinner... a statement she believed to be true. As it turned out, instead of coming home that night, she was rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.

A few months later, she again stopped by my room and this time said she was going to the hospital for... something, I don't remember what, but this time it was something she was genuinely worried about. I was like "Okay. Bye." and continued playing (much more my normal response). Whatever she was getting checked out turned out to be nothing serious.

I didn't know this until I was a teen, but for years after that, she secretly used me as her own personal healthometer. She'd never tell me symptoms or anything, but when she went to the doctor for anything, she'd be like "Ok, I'm going to the doctor, back in a while," and gauged whether to be concerned or not by watching my reaction. Apparently I was pretty accurate.
 
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Night_Writer

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I'm an empath, and I'll have a go at the questions here.

So my main questions for all of you empaths:

-What type of empath do you believe yourself to be? (i.e. emotional empath, physical empath, intuitive empath, etc.)
As far as I know, the definition of an empath is someone who intuitively senses the emotions and feelings of another person. Based on that, I suppose all empaths are the emotional type, as well as the intuitive type. So I don't see the difference. I'm not sure what qualifies as a physical empath, though.

-How does it feel to you? To feel the emotions of someone else? How do you recognize that they're not your own?
The difference between feeling my own emotions or feeling someone else's is the difference between having a headache or being hit in the head. Someone else's feelings feel like an obvious intrusion. Also, they don't make logical sense because they don't match up with my own personal experience at the moment.

-How do you control it? How do you mentally block the emotions of others?
Impossible. It's the curse of the empath.

-Did you always know you were a little different? Or did it just feel like a general sense- an intuition of your environment?
As a child, I didn't think about it at all. I just endured it. When I was older I began to realize that I was picking up on things that others couldn't. And it scared me. Not because I was able to pick on these things, but that other people could not. So I felt very alone.

-Did you have a sort of awakening/realization about yourself? Was there any sort of journey leading up to that revelation?
I don't think I've ever had a sudden realization about any aspect of myself at all. Being an empath just went along with everything else that was characteristic of me.

-Do have any experiences in particular that you'd like to
share?!
They're similar to the experiences described by others here, actually. But I always know what other people's impressions of me are when they first meet me. Some people find me interesting, and others seem to find me a weirdo. The ones that think I'm a weirdo seem to build up a wall of resistance that makes it hard for me to talk to them. Assuming I'd want to. Also, if someone is in a bad mood, it's horrible to be around them. I can feel the waves of negativity washing over me. It's unbearable.


I don't know if this helps you out any, but it's all I got. Being an empath isn't something I think much about. Most empaths just are who they are, I think.
 
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ShaunHorton

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I'm not sure I can answer any of your questions, but I can drop my own experiences in here.

Most commonly, when I first meet someone, I can read how they fit into my life. Most people are just inconsequential. I meet them, and then we go our separate ways never to really meet again. Some people I meet and I just love them. Some people I meet and I instantly can't stand. Keep in mind, these are all fairly neutral introductions, but for example, the most recent hire in my department at work.

I first met him when he came in for the interview, got the introduction and shook his hand on the way out. I liked him, but I didn't trust him. That's exactly how things have turned out 6 months later. Conversation wise, we get along, and even have a good time talking about things. He challenges me with the things he knows and I make him think about things in ways he hasn't before. However, he is the definition of two-faced, being your friend when you're there, and talking garbage behind your back, he's also an absolute player, with few morals or standards if it means he gets laid. He's a douchebag with a good personality. For whatever sense that makes.

Likewise, I'm good at feeling the mood of a room, and the connections between people (though I'm horrible at reading anything actually sent my way).

Very rarely, if someone I have a strong connection to is feeling a particularly strong emotion and isn't too far away (like in the same building), I can feel what direction they are from me.

That's about it though. Hope that helps somehow.
 

inkythoughts

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Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

I'll tell you some of my experiences, rather than answering specifics.

First story: Sometime in the 1980s, after I'd been doing kundalini yoga for awhile, I was walking down a residential street on my way to downtown when I felt a sudden surge of anger. Less than a minute later, a car careened down the street (there was no other traffic) and the occupants were screaming at each other and fighting.

Second story: I once heard myself (silently) screaming, "_____, stop what you're doing! NOW!" I hate to use the telephone, but I tried calling this person anyway, but didn't have the correct number. Learned later, that he was molesting little girls.

Third story:
I had a sick feeling when my mother told me she wanted to have a open heart surgery for a heart valve replacement. (Mom's youngest sister and the only member of that generation to practice yoga had that same sick feeling too.) I couldn't tell Mom how to live her life, so I said nothing. The surgery was technically successful, but it left my brilliant mother with a weakened mind. Basically, my mother is dead, but there's no closure.

I can sometimes hear when people are lying. And can sometimes tell when a person is about to die. Twice, I've felt a weird depression that had nothing to do with me, and later learned that a friend had died at that time. One of those was a suicide of a close friend.

I sometimes know what to say or do with a person, even when I don't know why. As in, I once told a woman who was convinced three of her children were dead (they were refugees) that she should put their photos up in the house, because they would live as long as she remembered them. Turned out, the lady was suicidal because she'd given her permission for those kids to escape the way they did. I'd said the one thing that would prevent that.

However, none of this works if I'm trying too hard. It tends to take being in an open and relatively relaxed state.

Hope that helps.

Oh, yes. There are occasions when I know I need to check my email or come in here to AW. More often than not, there's something I need to address or someone who's trying to contact me.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

These are some powerful experiences. Thank you for sharing! I've had some similar, and some not so similar experiences, but it seems you have quite a gift! I also find that these things tend to happen to me more often when there's less mental clutter buzzing around my head.
 

inkythoughts

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I'm not sure this is empathy exactly, but if not, it's certainly related.

I'm chronically ill and in chronic pain. The husband works from home (I don't work), so we're always around each other. Always. Oddly enough, more than 90% of the time, if I have a headache, he also has one in the exact same part of the head (I have all sorts of different types of headaches that hurt in different places in different ways - his match mine). If my right knee hurts, his will, too. If I feel a twinge in my back, so will he. And on and on and on. It's fairly bizarre. He just picks up on everything.

If we're both feeling tired and headachy, I'll take a nap and he'll suddenly feel better.

One time, his parents and his brother & wife came for a visit. Suddenly, the husband started feeling really really tired and fuzzy headed. The brother and his wife went for a nap in one of the rooms. When they woke up, he was fine.


I think people who are really invested in these types of things would call your husband a "physical empath." They are also called medicinal empaths. My sister-in-law's friend is like this. They are exactly as you described, rather than taking on the emotions of others, they take on the physical pains/illnesses other people feel, and feel them almost as if they were their own pains/illnesses. That's truly amazing that your husband has that gift! People might also say he's experiencing "sympathy pain," but the fact that he feels better when others do is remarkable. Thanks so much for sharing!
 

inkythoughts

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We can call it empathy or what-have-you, but I'll tell you about some things I experience.

Generally I just feel the "mood" of a room. It feels like people put out positive energy or negative energy and I pick up on it. If someone else is grumpy, I can get grumpy. Sometimes, in a group of people, one will be smiling and chatting along with the rest of them but it feels like there are huge iron spikes shooting out from that one person in all directions sort of like an iron-quilled porcupine. Smiling on the outside, screaming on the inside is how they seem to me.
I usually don't unless it's super intense.

That's all I want to share here, but there are several empath support groups on facebook, at least one of which is open and not closed, in which members share experiences.


Wow the way you described that is very vivid. Thanks so much for sharing! And thank you for pointing me in that direction, I'll have to check them out!
 

inkythoughts

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My own little bit of empathy is similar to this. I don't claim to be an empath by any means, but I can sometimes sense what type of mood someone else is in and it'll influence my own mood. Also, there have been a couple of times in my life when I had an immediate negative feeling about another person that I had just met. In almost all of those cases, something pretty crappy happened later on that involved that person.


I don't either, but I have these experiences that are just too inexplicable to be explained by anything else. But that sounds like empathy to me, mixed with some keen intuition! Thanks so much for sharing!
 

inkythoughts

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I wouldn't consider myself an empath. I'm lousy at reading a room and am often baffled by people's behavior... but my mother's convinced I'm an empath of some stripe, or at least, that I was as a child.

When I was a kid, maybe six or seven, Mom was feeling a little ill and stopped by my room to tell me she was going to the doctor and would be back in an hour or so. Upon hearing this, I got horribly upset and started sobbing inconsolably (very unusual behavior for me). She assurred me that it was nothing serious and she'd be back by dinner... a statement she believed to be true. As it turned out, instead of coming home that night, she was rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.

A few months later, she again stopped by my room and this time said she was going to the hospital for... something, I don't remember what, but this time it was something she was genuinely worried about. I was like "Okay. Bye." and continued playing (much more my normal response). Whatever she was getting checked out turned out to be nothing serious.

I didn't know this until I was a teen, but for years after that, she secretly used me as her own personal healthometer. She'd never tell me symptoms or anything, but when she went to the doctor for anything, she'd be like "Ok, I'm going to the doctor, back in a while," and gauged whether to be concerned or not by watching my reaction. Apparently I was pretty accurate.

That's remarkable! Definitely sounds like you had more of a "physical empathy," being able to tell when someone is seriously sick or suffering from ailments. Thanks so much for sharing!
 

inkythoughts

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I'm an empath, and I'll have a go at the questions here.


As far as I know, the definition of an empath is someone who intuitively senses the emotions and feelings of another person. Based on that, I suppose all empaths are the emotional type, as well as the intuitive type. So I don't see the difference. I'm not sure what qualifies as a physical empath, though.


The difference between feeling my own emotions or feeling someone else's is the difference between having a headache or being hit in the head. Someone else's feelings feel like an obvious intrusion. Also, they don't make logical sense because they don't match up with my own personal experience at the moment.


Impossible. It's the curse of the empath.


As a child, I didn't think about it at all. I just endured it. When I was older I began to realize that I was picking up on things that others couldn't. And it scared me. Not because I was able to pick on these things, but that other people could not. So I felt very alone.


I don't think I've ever had a sudden realization about any aspect of myself at all. Being an empath just went along with everything else that was characteristic of me.


They're similar to the experiences described by others here, actually. But I always know what other people's impressions of me are when they first meet me. Some people find me interesting, and others seem to find me a weirdo. The ones that think I'm a weirdo seem to build up a wall of resistance that makes it hard for me to talk to them. Assuming I'd want to. Also, if someone is in a bad mood, it's horrible to be around them. I can feel the waves of negativity washing over me. It's unbearable.


I don't know if this helps you out any, but it's all I got. Being an empath isn't something I think much about. Most empaths just are who they are, I think.

Yes, that's exactly as I'd describe an empath. As far as intuitive empaths, I was reluctant to use the term "psychic," but that's essentially what I was getting at. People who have those types of abilities, but not of the far off future, just the immediate future. I've some experiences like this, not with visions or anything like that, just a general sense that something would happen a particular way, almost like I knew exactly how the situation would play out and what the end result would be (in very serious, very bad situations). In regard to a physical empath, I've never experienced this personally, but I know some people who can physically sense pains, ailments, illnesses in other people, and they feel it as if it were their own pains/ailments/illnesses.

As far as blocking other's emotions, I guess I worded that inaccurately. I guess I meant how people might recognize that some emotions were the emotions of others, and not your own, and being able to sort of "reject" those emotions, and center yourself? I'm not sure how else to describe it.

As far as your childhood, I guess it was much the same for me. I just was who I was, and most everyone that knew me understood that I was a very emotional child. Later in life, I realize that it was mostly the emotions of those around me that made me so emotional, because I didn't realize that I was picking up on that. I was very sensitive to my mother's emotions, and those who were close to me.

Understanding other people's impressions of you is very curious!

Your feedback was definitely helpful, thanks so much for sharing.
 

inkythoughts

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I'm not sure I can answer any of your questions, but I can drop my own experiences in here.

Most commonly, when I first meet someone, I can read how they fit into my life. Most people are just inconsequential. I meet them, and then we go our separate ways never to really meet again. Some people I meet and I just love them. Some people I meet and I instantly can't stand. Keep in mind, these are all fairly neutral introductions, but for example, the most recent hire in my department at work.

I first met him when he came in for the interview, got the introduction and shook his hand on the way out. I liked him, but I didn't trust him. That's exactly how things have turned out 6 months later. Conversation wise, we get along, and even have a good time talking about things. He challenges me with the things he knows and I make him think about things in ways he hasn't before. However, he is the definition of two-faced, being your friend when you're there, and talking garbage behind your back, he's also an absolute player, with few morals or standards if it means he gets laid. He's a douchebag with a good personality. For whatever sense that makes.

Likewise, I'm good at feeling the mood of a room, and the connections between people (though I'm horrible at reading anything actually sent my way).

Very rarely, if someone I have a strong connection to is feeling a particularly strong emotion and isn't too far away (like in the same building), I can feel what direction they are from me.

That's about it though. Hope that helps somehow.


That is so interesting that you can tell the actual direction they are from you, that's truly unique! I've never heard of anyone being able to do that. Thanks so much for sharing!
 

Orianna2000

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I have a pretty good intuition about people, although I don't know how much is natural instinct (empathy) and how much is being hyper-observant. Sometimes I get really creepy vibes off people. I use Uber a lot and most of the time, I'm perfectly comfortable with getting in a stranger's car. One time, though, the driver was an older man who gave me serious creeps. It wasn't anything he said or did. He was perfectly cordial. But I felt the hair on my arms prickle and I was uneasy the entire ride. I kept my phone out and in my hand, just in case, which I don't usually do.

Aside from that, I have the dubious honor of being the person that everyone confides in. Even when I was a teenager, people I barely knew (like at church) would start telling me their problems, I guess because I'm a sympathetic listener. It's the same today. Also, I can usually tell when someone is angry, or sad, or frustrated, even if they're trying to hide it. It's just a feeling I get from being near them.
 

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In my case, it's hereditary. My mother tells stories. She knew my gender and moment of conception. Note, not implantation into the uterus, conception. Same for my brother. There are other stories too. That meant this all seemed normal to me. Not sure when it started.

A lot comes to me in dreams. When I was in high school, I was supposed to get together with a friend one Saturday. I had a dream my friend was in a pool with my aunt. My friend couldn't move her leg. I was awakened to be called to the phone. My friend explained we couldn't get together that day. I answered, "I know, what happened to your knee." She had sprained it in karate that morning.

I was very in tune to others while in college. I remember walking around in a funk for nearly a week and wondering who it was coming from and why it was so bad. I knew it wasn't me. I do think I stopped and asked myself that question at some point. It took some detective work to figure it out because it came from more than one person. All I remember is that on friend was sick that week.

I dreamed of Toni and Tom's place before ever seeing it. My husband and myself were on the beach with blue water around us with them. Their place had beige carpet and blue walls. It was unfurnished, so we sat on the floor.

I began to realize that certain people are muses for me. If they appear in my dreams, I'd better pay attention. Some of them are close friends and some aren't. My aunt, who was alive for the dream I mentioned but isn't today, is one. Both of the female friends I've mentioned are too.

Actually, I cut myself off psychically when I had my daughter. I'd gone through infertility and simply didn't have the emotional bandwidth for other people's emotions. This was a conscious decision. I may have made it after she was diagnosed with special needs and not around her birth. Not sure.

There are certain people I can pick up on in a space. Another friend worked for Lenscrafters in the mall. We had a falling out while I was going through the infertility, but I'd know when I walked in to the mall if he was there. They transferred him to a different local mall. And I picked up that I wasn't sensing him in the one. When I caught he was in the other, I was prompted to reconnect with him. (The second Mall is Roosevelt Field in Garden City, NY. I'd know when I walked in that either Tom or my friend Adam was there--their energy was similar to me.) I'd been having dreams about doing so to the point where our dream meetings opened with me telling him about the dreams. He's another muse of mine though he's rare in my dreams now. I guess I cut off after my daughter was diagnosed.

I reopened myself a year or two ago. I had a dream last year that my friend Rocky had died in a car accident protecting his daughter. I awoke in a cold sweat with two thoughts. First, why wasn't Toni in the dream. And second that Rocky was fine. Unbeknownst to me, Rocky has previously had colon cancer (before I met him). Toni's current husband received that diagnosis the morning of my dream. She sent me a Facebook message the following evening. I was relieved with the explanation. I had picked upon Tino's fear that her husband was being given a death sentence, not given an actual premonition of his death; he is doing fine now. (Rocky has had a different cancer this year but his prognosis is also good.)

All of the friends I've mentioned, except Tom, I consider Allies, from the song by Heart, which you've probably never heard of. It shows that connection well and was my wedding song.

Reading a room? Yes. Advising people? Yes. My mother is stellar at this. Sensing spirits? Yes, but that's far harder to prove with a story, though my mother has a couple that might. If she had a computer, I'd ask her to join us.

In high school, I read every book the school library had on parapsychology, so I did do some research. My mother read all of Edgar Casey. My favorite book on the subject at the time was called Parapsychology. But that was over 30 years ago. It contained reports of university studies conducted in the 60s. Look up Maimonides Dream Studies. A search of Parapsychology on the web shows some scholarly articles. You might find some more recent stuff. As with any scientific work, look at how the studies are set up and other means of introducing bias. Read skeptically.
 
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Niiicola

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I'm super late to this thread but figured I'd chime in anyway :)

I can feel other people's emotions radiating off them. I think it's sort of like those people who see auras, except that I don't see colors, just strong waves of feelings. As someone mentioned above, I find it unbearable to be around angry people; it's like a physical pain. I much prefer to be around calm-energy people.

I have two kids and I was 100% right about their personalities while they were in utero. I could just sense the way they were, as wacky as that sounds. I've also seen photos of friends on social media and thought "she's pregnant" before they actually announced it. I can tell when people are upset about something but hiding it.

Some people freak me out when I meet them, and it's not always because they're terrible people. It's generally because I sense a disconnect between the way they're acting outwardly and the way they're feeling inside.

I also have a really hard time with cities, especially on crowded public transportation. The grumpy energy on a packed subway feels like an oppressive fog and is really hard for me not to absorb. Writing conferences, which are full of anxious energy, also stress me out massively even when I'm not worried about anything specific.

As simplistic as it sounds, this "return to sender" concept has helped me a lot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7exxqap-c8
 

Orianna2000

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I've also seen photos of friends on social media and thought "she's pregnant" before they actually announced it. I can tell when people are upset about something but hiding it.

There's a thing where some women's faces change subtly when they're pregnant. It's hard to describe, but their features get softer, in a way. I've no idea if there's a scientific explanation for it.