'Explaining' a dystopia in first person POV

iAMee · Apr 8, 2019

Hi everyone,

I'm currently working on the second draft of a novel (my second novel-length story but the first that I've got this far with). It is technically a dystopia, but it's initially quite a subtle one, barring one single fact. That fact has a lot of implications on everyday life, and I reference them in the flow of the text whenever it feels appropriate. However, since I'm writing from a first person POV I'm finding it quite difficult to put this in without it looking laboured. Most of these implications are supposed to be things that she takes utterly for granted and would be unlikely to really 'notice'.

I'm trying to get around this by having her refer to things in a familiar, known way, with lots of things communicated indirectly via implication. I'm also toying with using a few flashback scenes, when a memory might naturally be triggered. But I do feel that the overall story is currently missing the 'how it got to be this way' overall picture which would help make sense of all of the different implications and why they fit together - as opposed to reading like a collection of disconnected changes.

As an example, the climate is much hotter. Sea levels have risen and people are living on much smaller pockets of land. I'm referencing how the main characters experience the temperature and trying to use it to demonstrate their characters (i.e. one is very uncomfortable but keeps it to herself, vs one who constantly complains, etc); and the changes to how they get around (lots more boats and bridges). But as it reads at the moment, it could just be summer; it could be that they happen to live on an imaginary collection of islands. I'm not sure how to be clearer that this is a changed world, without making the main character very explicit about it, which I don't think she would 'think' to do.

Any advice or tips?

Bufty · Apr 8, 2019

How did it get to be this way?

lizmonster · Apr 8, 2019

I think Bufty's question is a good start, but to expand on that: how much of the "why" is important to your plot? For that matter, how much of the "what" is important to your plot? Anything that doesn't figure in the story arc doesn't really need to be explained; anything that does you'll likely be able to expose naturally (more or less

) in the narrative.

It's also not a bad idea to remember that you don't need to give all the history and all the setting in Chapter 1 (not that you're doing this, but it's a common thing people do). Give readers what they need moment to moment in order to be able to follow what's going on. It's a balance, and a lot of us don't get it right in the first draft, but really, readers don't need many details until they actually matter.

pingle · Apr 8, 2019

I think this is going to depend on specifics. When you say it could simply be summer and they might just happen to live on a collection of islands, well, that all sounds quite nice really. Is this the case, that the existence is nice? Are they so far past the point of catastrophe that they have regrouped and can enjoy life again? If not, then I would focus on what sucks about their world, what terrifies her about her world? Are things getting worse? Are people traumatised by the past? Are things stable but everyone lives in fear that it might not stay that way? Are they resentful of past inhabitants that fucked up the world? Incredulous at how people used to live?

I think about the state of our planet a lot, and my life is currently quite nice really, so I would find it totally believable that a character would also do so, especially in a dystopian.

iAMee · Apr 8, 2019

Thanks for your responses - they're really helpful!

Bufty said:
How did it get to be this way?

Essentially the premise is that the climate has changed dramatically, and the political/governmental response to that has massive repercussions for my main character and others like her. The way that society has developed to cope with the challenges of the new climate leads to a chain of events that threatens her life and that of her child.

lizmonster said:
how much of the "why" is important to your plot?

That's a very good point. I suppose essentially it isn't. The 'what' is important, because that's the thing that provides the main character her biggest conflict. But yes, for a reader to be able to follow they'd only really need to understand 'this is so' rather than 'why.'

lizmonster said:
Give readers what they need moment to moment in order to be able to follow what's going on

I think this is the key thing I'll try to do! It's what I've been aiming for, but at the same time I've been worrying that a reader would need that overarching understanding. Perhaps it's enough to allow that to emerge organically. In fact, I suppose it's more interesting to me, as a reader, when my understanding of a 'big picture' is built up gradually so that I might get more of an 'aha' moment later on.

pingle said:
When you say it could simply be summer and they might just happen to live on a collection of islands, well, that all sounds quite nice really. Is this the case, that the existence is nice?

The existence is nice for some, such as one of the secondary characters, who've benefited from it; for the main character, and many others, it's led to a hard, dangerous existence. It's clear from the very beginning of Chapter One that it's not a 'nice' existence for her, as she has her inciting incident almost in the very first line of text; but it would not necessarily be clear that the social and political reasons for this are tied to the obviously hot weather, etc.

The relationship between the main and secondary characters, and their differing experiences of the world, forms an emotional sub-plot as well, so I think I've got room for the main character to think about and question 'the way things are' based on that conflict.

Brightdreamer · Apr 8, 2019

I suggest reading some dystopian/post-apocalyptic fiction and see how they introduce their worlds. Your approach is generally the preferred one: no lecturing or history lesson, just how the setting affects the characters. Off the top of my head, the MG book The Wild Robot takes place after substantial climate shift, but never actually sits down and explains it; you see it through how it has affected the characters (animals and the titular robot), and can clearly infer what has happened without anyone saying the words "global warming catastrophe." IIRC, The Hunger Games doesn't start out talking about the unfair society or reciting history lessons that led to the current dystopia: you see it in the poverty Katniss lives with, in the very concept of the Hunger Games, and moreso as she sees the contrast in how the Capital lives, with the only info on What Happened coming via what is clearly Capital propaganda justifying the Games. Often the trigger for the apocalypse isn't specifically mentioned (though it's likely the author has some idea, for consistency reasons); it just is, as our current world just is, in ways that are beyond one person's ability to change, so we must cope with what we have.

pingle · Apr 8, 2019

iAMee said:
The existence is nice for some, such as one of the secondary characters, who've benefited from it; for the main character, and many others, it's led to a hard, dangerous existence. It's clear from the very beginning of Chapter One that it's not a 'nice' existence for her, as she has her inciting incident almost in the very first line of text; but it would not necessarily be clear that the social and political reasons for this are tied to the obviously hot weather, etc.

The relationship between the main and secondary characters, and their differing experiences of the world, forms an emotional sub-plot as well, so I think I've got room for the main character to think about and question 'the way things are' based on that conflict.

If we're seeing discontentment from the very start and you build tension and a good story, I definitely think the backstory coming in slowly isn't a problem at all.

I recently read Sealed by Naomi Booth which is a really good dystopian. The MC mentions 'protected foods' pretty early on, but it takes ages to find out what that means exactly, and why you might want to stick to protected. That's fine, the wait (and eventual reveals) is all part of the fun.

Auteur · Apr 8, 2019

You could have the characters talk about a news article about how the climate has changed and what should be done about it. Maybe add some conflict with one person saying that "if we do anything about it, it will destroy the economy" and the other person saying that "we must do something." You know, like the kind of thing that goes on every day in the U.S.

Kbars · Apr 18, 2019

iAMee said:
supposed to be things that she takes utterly for granted and would be unlikely to really 'notice'.

Does the disaster happen during or before the story is told?

Consider this, just because your character takes it for granted, does not mean that the reader necessarily will. Start with grounding the reader with a location that everyone knows. Describe it as a place that the reader would not recognize. If you describe ruined buildings, over flowing waters, or zones where there is animal bones but no animals, your readers will understand that something went very, very wrong.

Remember, your story is dystopian. These are not happy places.

frimble3 · Apr 19, 2019

Kbars said:
Start with grounding the reader with a location that everyone knows. Describe it as a place that the reader would not recognize. If you describe ruined buildings, over flowing waters, or zones where there is animal bones but no animals, your readers will understand that something went very, very wrong.

I think Kbars has the right idea, give the reader bits and pieces to put together.

I don't remember how the book 'Planet of the Apes' ended (I read it forty years ago), but the movie (the old, Charlton Heston one) did it perfectly.
The MC and the viewer, think he's landed on an alien planet, where apes are the dominant life-form. It's only at the very end that he gets the one clue that it's not 'alien'. The head of the Statue of Liberty, sticking up out of the ground.
Then he realizes that he's actually on our Earth, in some vastly different future.

Pick the right hints, and you don't have to spell it out.

'Explaining' a dystopia in first person POV

iAMee

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

pingle

iAMee

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

pingle

Auteur

Redacted

Kbars

frimble3

Heckuva good sport