Writing with young kids?

Granada

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I’m curious how people manage to write while raising kids, particularly babies and young kids. When do you write? How did it change your writing? I have two kids and work full time. I’m looking for inspiration. (Or commiseration.) thanks!
 

WeaselFire

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Give them some bourbon.

Okay, drugs and alcohol are probably out, so what you do is find that hole in your schedule. Write while they're at soccer practice. Write after everyone goes to bed. Write during your lunch break at work. You may not get to put in 40 hours a week writing, but you'll eventually add them up to enough to count. Babysitters and spouses can share the load too.

Jeff
 

P.K. Torrens

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I’m curious how people manage to write while raising kids, particularly babies and young kids. When do you write? How did it change your writing? I have two kids and work full time. I’m looking for inspiration. (Or commiseration.) thanks!

I’ve got one mini-me and it is tougher to find spare time. That’s the key issue really for me.

Naps and sleep time is a go-er. But it’s tough to find dedicated time, eh?

Harlequin is my idol when it comes to this issue. *turns on Bat Signal*
 

Harlequin

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lol! I don't work full-time, as such. I'm a registered carer for my youngest (special needs child), and my eldest is at home with us (home educated) but it's not in the same league as full time work + kids. Or maybe it is, I dunno. I have no basis for comparison, after all!

The same general philosophy applies, though. The baseline truth is that you won't be as productive as someone without kids, in all probability, and that's okay. It's not a race, there are no prizes for finishing a manuscript two months sooner or later.

Try to have small, achievable goals that can be achieved in a relatively short timeframe. Things like: I'm gonna work on finishing this chapter. Don't worry about the whole book, or the whole story; tackle one section at a time. A lot of writing is a psychological chess game played against your own brain, and consistently hitting small goals will feel like progress, while helping you be more productive/keep your spirits up.

Don't wait for the perfect moment; it's okay to write while tired or distracted. That's what revision is for ;-) and later, beta readers to catch your tired-parent-brain mistakes. Don't expect perfection, and accept that you're writing under constraints.

I also like to do as much pre-writing work in advance as possible. When I'm not sat down typing (which is most of the day) I spend a lot of brain-power thinking through my scenes, and arranging them in my head. That means when I do sit down at night, I'm usually ready to go and can get things down on paper.

The tricky one for me is taking time to read and crit. Those are vital to writing, but it's hard not to feel like I'm "wasting" writing time. It's never a waste, though. And neither are breaks, or time spent exercising/relaxing.
 

Granada

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Thanks for your replies. I’m pretty much in the same boat of writing whenever I have a moment, frantically and incoherently. I appreciate reading your advice.
 

litdawg

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Uggh, this is a tough one. I've got four kids, from kindergarten to high school senior. I'm at home pretty much full-time now due to some health issues for one of them. It's excruciating. I don't regret a single minute I spend caring for each of these very different, needy, and busy kids, but I feel like an awful failure as a writer because I'm making so little progress during this time away from work. I find I get the most done between 0430 and 0700.
 

Carrie in PA

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Depending on what kind of job you have, can you snatch a few minutes at work? Maybe scribble a few scene notes during a coffee/potty break? Dedicate part of your lunch break? Maybe make notes while on hold? Probably obviously, my perspective was from a back office job with a little more leeway. I kept a notebook beside my computer, and while I never actually *wrote* at work, I'd write down ideas as they came to me, especially during those natural breaks like being on hold or waiting for a return call. (I also made lots of my own notes during harassment training where the correct answer to every question was "Contact your direct supervisor or HR!")

At home, it's always the obvious - when the kids are napping. When you're in the bathroom. Split bedtime duties and write while hubby gives baths (assumption there, ignore if N/A), then you read bedtime story and tuck in. If you can get a sitter (or swap sitting with another family) a few hours a week, work in some writing. Write while the kids are watching whatever mind-numbing atrocity is popular on TV these days. LOL

I loved the book Writer With A Day Job. It has tons of practical advice.

This is all very easy to type as I'm looking back over it. I have an empty nest now, and to be honest, there were years I didn't write a single word because I was just too damn busy. That's okay. Writing was always right where I left it when I had time to pick it back up. Life has a million seasons, and I don't regret the time I didn't write because I was focused on being Mom. It passed a lot faster than I thought it did while I was in it.

My best advice? Be kind to yourself. ♥