Ouch

mf1438 said:

I wrote a book on the #MeToo theme and somebody really didn't like it. I posted a promo for a free kindle book on reddit and they flamed me. I don't know them and they don't know me, but the negative comments still hurt. Fear of rejection is one of the reasons I'm reluctant to share my work. It got to me today. Maybe my work is really that bad and nobody likes it, but should I change what I'm writing just for the audience accolades? As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but rejection still hurts. Maybe it is time to take a break. You've got to be thick skinned to survive as a writer. I've feeling too raw and vulnerable at the moment.

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First of all: if hugs would be helpful, I offer hugs.

Second: Been there. Hoo boy. I think you'll find a lot of people here who know how you feel.

If you want advice (and you don't have to take it!), I'll tell you what works for me (or at least works well enough to keep me writing): I apply my intellect.

1. No piece of writing is universally beloved. Look up any bestselling book or literary masterpiece - you'll see reviewers who loathed it. You've probably read a few "great" books yourself that you haven't liked. Art is ultimately subjective.

2. IME, there are some people who feel "critique" gives them a license to be nasty - they feel they'll appear more literary or credible if they're tearing people down. There are also people who seem to have been taught that if they're not being as negative as possible it's not really a critique. It's a conflation of "critique" with "criticism," sometimes crossed with a person who's not terribly nice to begin with. None of this has anything to do with the quality of your work.

3. I don't know what this particular person said, but it's also worth mentioning there's a difference between content and presentation. If you're writing about hot-button issues, it's not surprising some people might become reactive and lash out. Again: none of this has anything to do with the quality of your work.

You're right that a thick skin helps, but an awful lot of us don't have that, and we still need to find a way to keep going. Personally, I don't read reviews, good or bad. It doesn't insulate me completely, but most of the time it gives me enough of a buffer.

If you need to take a break, absolutely take a break. But if you can, don't let this take root under your skin.

Rejections always sucks and I'm sorry you have had that experience.

What was the negative feedback about the writing itself or the subject? #MeToo is an incredible sensitive subject and very personal to many women so it is very easy for people to get very emotional when coming across stories about that subject.

I would also consider the subject. Any #MeToo is bound to have flamers regardless of any other thing about it.

Reddit, the cesspool of misogyny, probably wasn't the best place to advertise the book. But I agree with the others that universal acclaim is impossible, and this doesn't mean anything for your book. Onwards and upwards!

Without seeing the critique, I'd pause to see if there's anything in it that might be a learning experience for your writing or marketing.

If it's standard grade misogynistic ranting about how women are liars, stick it in the bin where it belongs.

If it's actual survivors getting mad at you, then perhaps step back and examine your marketing. I know that personally I'm getting quite sick of people using #MeToo to advertise fiction... a sales tactic using real trauma and suffering for visibility really rubs me up the wrong way.

Hang in there. As the old adage goes, you can't please all of the people all of the time.