Yes, I met a lot of people who became friends via my training and I still hang out with them even if most of those that I started with only trained for a handful of years. I never sought to become one of the honchos, but when I did that was another group of people (instructors in other towns and cities) who also became friends. Not all of them of course, but the ones who are… well, let’s just say that we have some interesting history (some funny stories, and others not so funny but still good to reminisce about).
The training motivation is the same for me as for you: I need other people to train with for it to be enjoyable (bashing one another counts as such LOL). In preparation for my black belt test I took a gym membership and I trained every weekday for six months for two hours after I finished my day job (milkman – lots of running and lifting): treadmill, bikes, weights, aerobics, everything. That was in addition to the training I did in class and the training I did at home with some of the others. After I completed the test I renewed my gym membership for a year and then quit after two sessions. I just can’t train indefinitely without a partner.
I’ve been out of the loop for a while now, but when I started teaching TKD it was splintered along tournament and self-defence lines. You’d think that the two were similar, but no. And both branches claimed to be traditional forms of the art (with the other being rogue), but I think I know what you mean. To answer your question: the main difference with what I do compared to tournament (Olympic) competition is that, for me, it’s that the competitive stuff on TV is batshit boring to watch. Most of the time it’s just two people facing off waiting for the other person to make the first move. Because it’s largely a point scoring format, the requirement becomes speed related at the expense of everything else. In order to avoid over-extension, punches often become taps (same point value for either). Yes, there are occasional KOs from some people who take risks, but most of the fights I saw were very limited in that regard.
A lot of people found the first TKD style I signed with to be really boring, the same as I am bored by tournament formats. I suppose that some things are like that? To me basketball is crap to watch but heaps of fun to play. My early MA training was similar; it was rooted in learning just a few kicks and blocks and so forth, and we drilled those things and not much else in every single class. The people who quit did so because they didn’t feel as though there was enough variety in the syllabus, but I can tell you that those basics became a really strong foundation and they are still my go-to when I spar. The best fighters that I ever saw were the ones who had only one or two techniques; they weren’t very creative, but they sure as hell knew how to execute. To me the appeal was the simplicity, because I needed it for my weekend work (bouncer).
When I first started training, I was told that we were forbidden from competing because “Taekwondo is a martial art, not a sport.” LOL, I still remember THAT conversation! My best friend asked our examiner something along those lines and copped an absolute bollocking for his “insolence” and the entire class was subjected to a gruelling punishment drill as a lesson in respect. To reinforce the ban on thinking of TKD as a sport, I found out a short while later that two instructors in another town had entered a tournament to see how they would go against strangers from different disciplines. Unfortunately for them, they finished first and third and the news of their success travelled fast. Both of them were expelled.
I trained in a few different styles. Some schools forbid participating in organised competition and others required it for advancement, but it was never really my thing. I’m not a traditionalist by heart (that’s an entirely separate conversation) but I did enjoy learning all of the cool stuff that would have been too dangerous to try in a competitive environment; there are enough accidents as it is with proper supervision. Also, a lot of TKD principals are not well versed with reality. I remember one in particular who refused to acknowledge wrestling / judo / MMA as valid because “people who are proficient in TKD are too well balanced to ever fall over.” What he meant was that he didn’t know any ground grappling (TKD is primarily kick / punch / block – floor fighting is for riff-raff) and so he forbid anyone from learning about it. Screw that attitude! My advice to anyone is to stay away from people who say those kinds of ridiculous statements and go and find someone who is willing to teach you what you want to learn. I have sometimes been called a jack of all trades and master of none, which is meant as an insult, but of which I am extremely proud.
You’re nearly forty? Sorry, man, you are screwed. My body packed it in when I turned 44; the last six years have been one long yearning look in the rear-view mirror. Ten years ago I used to have an informal rule for my class: anyone aged 30+ need not try to keep up with the drills for the late-teens and twenty-somethings. It seemed like a good rule at the time, but unfortunately I didn’t then realise how grim it was going to be in the years ahead.
I think that maybe tai-chi would be something that I may yet gravitate towards when I finally hang up my gloves. It would be familiar territory for me and as long as there is a group environment and someone telling me what to do (in a non-domestic context) then that would be quite appealing.
Sorry about the essay.