Describing aliens, with or without infodumps

The one I always come back to is a little older: Vernor Vinge's A FIRE UPON THE DEEP. Chapter Two introduces the Tines, a plural species (each "individual" is actually a pack of dog-like creatures with a single, cooperative consciousness). He does this using third limited, from the POV of one of the Tines, and it takes a while before the reader realizes there's something a little...strange going on. When we see the Tines from the perspective of the human characters, they're explicitly described as similar to dogs.

What works for Vinge here, I think, is the alien POV, which isn't going to work for every story. But if you've got human characters viewing an alien, it's perfectly reasonable to have them observing the similarity to animals they're familiar with (like amphibians). You could go with the major differences, too: something like "just like the alligator Ellen had seen when she was five, only with soft ridges instead of sharp teeth, and bulbous, almost frog-like eyes, blue as the summer sky, peering over its long snout." Which is rough, but you see what I mean.

From the tight third perspective, my alien descriptions tend to be as sparse as my human ones are, lol. Someone notices someone else's striking yellow eyes, the sinuous curve of their neck. Rarely do they stop mid convo to describe someone's features in great detail. Maybe I should have them compare each other to dead alien celebrities.

The thing is, I know exactly how my aliens look. I've got reference drawings. I can't help the feeling I'm short-changing the reader by not describing them precisely as they are. I try to drop enough hints, but there's no guarantee readers are going to see anything remotely like what I'm imagining when I write. But as with human characters and settings, in prose, does that really matter?


One think I think is important is sensory differences. An alien with a strong sense of smell will focus on that in noticing others.

lizmonster said:

The one I always come back to is a little older: Vernor Vinge's A FIRE UPON THE DEEP. Chapter Two introduces the Tines, a plural species (each "individual" is actually a pack of dog-like creatures with a single, cooperative consciousness). He does this using third limited, from the POV of one of the Tines, and it takes a while before the reader realizes there's something a little...strange going on. When we see the Tines from the perspective of the human characters, they're explicitly described as similar to dogs.

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I was going to mention this! The sequel (Something Upon the Something, have Google but lazy) goes one better and features disgusting spider aliens that are written in the most humanizing way possible, so that rather strongly resemble lovable Brits from a vaguely Victorian-to-Edwardian time period. The reveal at the end of how a human character sees them is both hilarious and horrifying.

themindstream said:

I've got a story about aliens with no human perspective. They are human enough in the sense that they are bipedal sophonts and have very human-like personalities but no human would mistake them for homo sapiens by appearance (they borrow a lot from amphibians).

I've done the thing where I drop details about appearance in places where it makes sense for the point of view character to notice them (though the story is really more in omni-third trying to approximate limited-third by using tight focus). I'm not convinced that it's enough.

How have others handled this, what have you seen work and what have you seen fall flat?

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Maybe your cover image can go a long way toward helping?

Patty said:

Maybe your cover image can go a long way toward helping?

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How much input does an author get into the cover, traditionally? Obviously it's easier if you go self-pub, but I'd be worried about a cover artist getting it wildly wrong. I know how my aliens look, having drawn them for years. I'd be demanding incessant revisions and generally driving the poor artist insane.

Seconding Vinge's aliens as some of the best realised and weirdest in SF. Particularly the Spiders. Unlike some I always pictured them as horrifying arachnid monsters, just dressed in tweed and with plummy Oxbridge accents.

themindstream said:

Just want to make sure it's clear that there are no human _characters_ in my story as looking back again I see how I might have phrased it a little weirdly. If you want to be technical than the omni narrator and the reader are going to have human perspective but that's it.

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Definitely look up the Vinge. The free Kindle sample includes Chapter Two. He does a brilliant job of engaging you with the characters before you realize that oh, my, they're not human at all, are they?

One way is to describe individuals more than all of the aliens. She has really pronounced orange brow ridges, which is a bit unusual as most people around here only have smaller ones and they're blue. Her nostrils were unusually widely space on her snout. And so on. If you look at the way we describe individual humans, that actually tells you a lot about how humans look in general.

On cover images filling in gaps... beware of this approach. I've seen some wildly inaccurate cover art out there (especially on reprints - some of the Pernese dragon renderings, I'd swear the artist had never read the books, as they don't even come in those colors. And Stephen Brust's Jhereg books - the MC makes a point of growing a mustache because the inhuman species he works among cannot grow facial hair, so it's an integral part of his rebellious character, yet I have not seen a single cover depict him that way.) You can't always luck out with an artist like (now-semi-retired) Micheal Whelan, who actually takes the time (and is allowed to take the time, 'cause he's Michael freakin' Whelan) to read the manuscript in its entirety before designing the art. You might get an artist who gets a brief - or, worse for you but better for the bottom line, stock art. And, yes, it does color how your reader "sees" your characters and aliens/creatures and such, even if your descriptions counter the cover.

Tangentially, beware of relying too heavily on human analogues. A late author acquaintance of my parents (F. M. Busby) had aliens (the Demu) he described as being vaguely "lobster-like," noting specifically that they did not look like lobsters nor were they colored like lobsters, but there was some aspect to them that made humans think of them that way. That description, unfortunately for him, opened the floodgates: lobster-like cover art, lobster gifts at cons, lobster this, lobster that. He hated it... but, from a reader standpoint, clearly it made an impression: these aliens are like lobsters. And I'm doubtful it interfered significantly with the overall story. It just wasn't the image he wanted to instill. (I never did think to ask how he would've described them differently, had he known the fallout of his original description.)

As for describing aliens without human terms, Orson Scott Card touches on this on his writing book (Writing Fantasy & Science Fiction); you might take a look at his advice. As others have mentioned, beware not to overdo it, and try to think in terms of how your characters would view each other, even with an omni narrator. No human is going to describe another human as an upright-walking bipedal mammal, mostly bereft of fur save longer locks on its rounded scalp and tufts protecting genitals, descended from tree-dwelling primates and bearing five long, blunt-nailed digits on each forelimb capable of intricate manipulation and numerous rude gestures. They're going to describe Bob as having dark hair and being tall enough to bump his head on doorframes, or note Janine's squinting green eyes, or compare Jake's round, flushed face to an exceptionally expressive tomato (for a few quick bad examples.)

Albedo said:

Unlike some I always pictured them as horrifying arachnid monsters, just dressed in tweed and with plummy Oxbridge accents.

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I mean, that's what they are tho.

At Mindstream, just out of curiosity, is this relating to your Sekret project from last year? Because I'm sure there are ways to do it better, but I feel sort of strongly you hit exactly the right note with how you depicted your aliens. Looking into Vinge might be helpful, but you're very likely to find you already did the thing people are imploring you to do.

It's interesting, because there's an element of frustration to never picturing the alien clearly, but somehow, I think that only improves the experience. If I think the reader has a clear, consistent picture of the alien I'm trying to pick, I don't really care if they think they're rabbits when I'm trying to depict crustaceans. Alien is alien, so I think vagueness is always a valid tool to get that across. There can be a cheapness to it if not done right, but getting overly technical can be a trap too.

The hard part here is, as you said, you can't really use Earth animals for comparison. I like Polenth's suggestion as a starting place, and beyond that, it's a fine balance, but also something that'll happen naturally.

If it's in omniscient POV (where the only POV is that of the omniscient narrator) it would surely work with the narrator including brief descriptive elements/clues in the narrative as to how specific functions are performed, such as, greeting, mobility, inspecting or holding things, cleaning etc., as already mentioned in the OP.

A good example of recent work with entirely non-human characters is Martha Wells's Raksura series (5 novels + some related stories, The Cloud Roads is the first novel & the place to start). There are many, many intelligent species in that world, most of them not even remotely human, and the main characters, inc. the POV, are shapeshifters with a very complex (& utterly non-human) society and biology.

One thing she does well is to provide many details of not just the alien appearance but also the experience of living in the alien body, without bogging down the story with many full descriptions of characters. This, I think, is a technique worth trying out. You're inside the alien character's skin -- what do they feel when they move? When they experience emotions, or illness, or stress, or exertion? How do they use their hands (or whatever it is they use for grasping, manipulating, & touching)? How do they clean & groom & decorate themselves? What are their sensory organs, and what information & sensations do these organs provide?

Since their bodies are not like ours, their body language will be different too. When members of the same species interact, what non-verbal communication occurs? e.g. how do they gauge each other's emotions & reactions? How do they convey their own? When they meet new people of their own kind, what individual characteristics do they notice? Are their social interactions affected by dominance hierarchies, or mating requirements, or any other aspect of their biology? Etc. etc. etc.

The external appearance of an alien is much less interesting, from a story perspective, than the inner experience of being one. Because if the aliens are just like humans in funny costumes, why bother making them alien at all?

themindstream said:

Some of my uncertainty is probably nerves. The last rejection I got collided with a case of brain worms, but also a realization of why some of it might not have been working (I've been watching Brandon Sanderson's lectures).

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It might be there are things you could improve, but also keep in mind that what rejections say doesn't always mean you need to rewrite things. I had a story rejected for not being accessible. It was accepted at the next place with no changes. It's not that the rejection was wrong. A story told from the perspective of someone linked to a hive of bees is not accessible, but I wasn't going for accessible. I was going for space bees and the other market liked that.

Aliens can sometimes appear too alien for some markets, and others might think they're not alien enough, but that's not a comment on the story as such. It's a comment on the preferences of the market. There's room for everything from really alien aliens to pretty much like humans with purple spots.

Hey!

This question made me think of John Scalzi's stuff. Specifically his second book in the "Old Man's War" series (The Ghost Brigades). I don't want to just throw a spoiler out there, but it's a REALLY well done alien description in the beginning!

themindstream said:

I've got a story about aliens with no human perspective. They are human enough in the sense that they are bipedal sophonts and have very human-like personalities but no human would mistake them for homo sapiens by appearance (they borrow a lot from amphibians).

I've done the thing where I drop details about appearance in places where it makes sense for the point of view character to notice them (though the story is really more in omni-third trying to approximate limited-third by using tight focus). I'm not convinced that it's enough.

How have others handled this, what have you seen work and what have you seen fall flat?

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I'm reading the first Binti right now, and the way Nnedi Okorafor describes the alien antagonists is actually woven into her description of their actions. Not an infodump, but exposition with relevant details all at once so the reader knows what to picture right away.