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Thread: My niece is amazing! Also, I owe AW a debt of gratitude...

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  1. #1
    practical experience, FTW Tazlima's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    My niece is amazing! Also, I owe AW a debt of gratitude...

    Hi All!

    So yesterday my former nephew/now niece came out to the extended family as transgender. Apparently her parents have known for a couple years and have been supportive, and frankly, I'm in awe of how beautifully she's handling the reveal. That kid's really got her ish together - far more than I did at that age.

    I"m writing this post for three reasons.

    1) To brag on my niece. She really is an awesome young woman.

    2) To thank all of you. While I've always been supportive of LGBTQA rights and know a handful of LGBTQA folks in real life, I've never had a close family member come out before. A huge portion of what I know on the subject, I learned from reading the quiltbag forum over the years. I never posted much here, because I'm the student, not the teacher, but I was listening, and you all helped me know what to say - what she probably most needed to hear. I let her know that she has my support, that I'm always here to listen if she wants to talk, that I'll do my best to use her new name and pronouns, and that if I mess up, to know it's not intentional, and most of all, that I still love her and am proud of her, and nothing can change that.

    3) To seek advice - She already has a solid support system in place, so I'm just adding one more pillar, but I want to be the best aunt/ally/advocate I can. Is there anything I ought to say or do or offer? Things I should be prepared for that I hadn't considered? (Like so many things in life, the general information that's available doesn't necessarily prepare one for the lived experience). Topics I should avoid? (beyond the obvious... I wouldn't ask any of my other nieces unsolicited questions about their genetalia/sex stuff/medical status either). Books I should read?

    For those of you who have come out to family, what was the best/ most helpful thing anyone said to you or did for you? What well-intentioned but thoughtless comments were the worst?
    Last edited by Tazlima; 01-21-2019 at 08:45 PM.
    "One of the hardest things to do, I think, is learn to trust your own creativity." - Ambrosia

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