Back & Forth Between Not Starting and Never Finishing

landmers said:

Is there such a thing as being too much of a perfectionist?

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I think this is why the saying 'Perfect is the enemy of good' gets such traction among writers. Not only can you be too much of a perfectionist, it is actively damaging to a writer's motivation because perfect is impossible. And the idea that you've done all this work and thrown hours at something and it's still not perfect, and why isn't it, and when will it be, can be paralysing. Even if you can give up the idea of perfection it's not that simple, because next comes the question of 'how do I know if it's done?'. Still struggling with that one.

No answers I'm afraid, just sympathy. The only way I've found so far to get around it is to finish things, then make sure you celebrate the thing you have done. I am a dreadful tinkerer and even though I usually enjoy the editing process sometimes I just have to walk away for a while and force myself to leave it alone. I know I'll never feel like something is totally 'done' but I will have to train myself to realise when it's 'done enough'. I suspect this comes with experience, which can only be gained by doing more work. It is maddening, and none of this is easy. Do you ever get critique or send out to beta readers? In a practical sense, fresh eyes might help with the decision if something is 'done enough' (though I know it's easy to just say that and not at all that simple to do if you're not satisfied with something).

I feel like there are two questions in the original post.

One is about the spinning around that can happen when trying to write. For me, panning out to look at overall structure helps when I am procrastinating. (I know some folks like to be more organic in their writing, but I'm technical in my thinking.) So, it helps me to ask myself: Do I have three acts? (or however many I am using.) Are they the right length? Are the main plot points there? Does each character have a specific goal and is every action that character takes in pursuit of that goal?

Sometimes the writing is just stream of consciousness flow-y and nice, but the structure is important too and that's a different skill and mindset. Try starting your day not with the goal 'to write' but something else, like to identify the purpose of whatever chapter you are on, or to identify the turning points in your novel as a whole, or character goals.

The other question I see in the original post is about perfectionism. This was something that bothered me too, and I didn't believe it when people would tell me 'you'll know when you are done' but I found that in the end I did. The story was complete somewhere between the fourth and tenth draft, but I kept tinkering for months and months after that and I think it was because I knew something wasn't right yet but I didn't know what that was. (It was the characterization.) I sort of finally stumbled into figuring it out and was able to add that part of it in, and two things happened: I felt the story was really done done, and I felt I would now learn more on the next project--so I became eager to move on. It probably helps that I have this next project sketched out, too.

So your story might be done, but something in you knows that it is still missing some element and you are trying to find that. Or else the right 'next project' hasn't come along yet.

I don't know if this is at all helpful, but FWIW I think what you're going through happens a lot, and may even be a necessary phase for some of us. I went through many years of writing three brilliant first chapters, revising them to death, and then abandoning the story out of sheer boredom. I got reasonably good at revising my own words, but it took a long time and a lot of false starts before I figured out a way to push aaaall the way through to the end. I still struggle with it sometimes.

I think SophK has a good tip: celebrate your accomplishments, even if they don't result in something complete. Writing is all about practice and refinement. Even if you don't finish the story you're on--even if you end up mentally chewing on something you don't write down at all--you're developing your skills. All of it's important, and all of it counts.