Ask Lane Heymont of The Tobias Literary Agency

Hi, Lane. Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. I look forward to following the discussion.

*waves to Lane who is my awesome agent*

Hi all,

Thrilled to be here. I'll be checking in throughout the weeks, so ask away!

eqb said:

*waves to Lane who is my awesome agent*

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Hi eqb! Can't wait for those pirates. Argh!

Hi Lane -
Thanks for giving us your time. Recognizing there is no magic formula, I was wondering if you had any thoughts or insights to share in relation to what tips an agent over into requesting a R&R on a partial or full request vice straight passing on the submission. Thanks!

A lot of agent interviews I hear and read mention a myriad of ways of attacking their query piles, and I always find it interesting how different they are. Some skim the query for character, some for hook, some check the pages first, then go back to query, some read word count and genre before anything else etc.

What style do you follow?

BlinkerBot said:

Hi Lane -
Thanks for giving us your time. Recognizing there is no magic formula, I was wondering if you had any thoughts or insights to share in relation to what tips an agent over into requesting a R&R on a partial or full request vice straight passing on the submission. Thanks!

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Hi Blinkerbot,

Great question. Like much of publishing, what tips an agent toward an R&R or a Pass is very subjective. For example, I've fallen in love with a querier's premise, but failed to connect with the writing in a way to champion it. That may sound like a form response, but "writing" often means voice. While you can work on your voice, it's often not something many agents are going to want to work on with you. So, that would be a pass.

However, if I love the premise, your writing is good, but a few things are "off" (i.e. some plot points, needing another edit or two), it is something *I* could with you on.

R&Rs are VERY rare, because it is more often a straight up Pass. Think of an R&R as a diamond in the rough.

Hope that helps, and pleasure forgive my extraneous love of em dashes and commas.

Thanks!

TSJohnson said:

A lot of agent interviews I hear and read mention a myriad of ways of attacking their query piles, and I always find it interesting how different they are. Some skim the query for character, some for hook, some check the pages first, then go back to query, some read word count and genre before anything else etc.

What style do you follow?

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Hi TSJohnson,

One reason it's super important to list your genre and word count in the beginning — my $.02 — is so I know what to expect when I am skimming the query. I look to those two first. Is it a genre I represent or am currently seeking, and is it word count appropriate. A 35,000-word adult fantasy is not appropriate...or even a novel. Nor is a 300,000 single-title romance appropriate.

My personal method is to read:

1) Genre and word count.
2) Hook.
3) Credentials.
4) Pages.

I can already see horrified gasps that I peruse credentials before pages. However, this is for the author's benefit. If I know you've never been published, I expect the writing to be a tad "rougher" than the prose of a NYTBS author.

Though, as the old adage goes, story is king/queen.

Thanks!

Thanks, Lane! Great response, definitely helpful.

Thank you, Lane, for your time. My 2 questions are also about queries.

1. Many agents request genre/word count in the subject line of the email. I usually place them there, and then reiterate them after the hook. I'm curious if they should be in front of the hook in the body of the email. Is it sufficient to have genre/word-count in the subject line?

2. In your opinion, what is the purpose of the hook in the query? Some say it takes the place of a synopsis to show a full story, and others say it proves you can write 'tightly,' and others say that is shows you are flexible enough to master at least two writing styles. One person told me it is to prove that you can sell something. Most people (that I've talked with) say that the query letter is more important than the pages in terms of getting a request for pages, and this puzzles me, since the pages are the thing that would be represented.

I am really puzzled as to what purpose the hook in the query letter serves, as silly as that might sound. I feel like a great manuscript might be missed by an agent if the hook is weak, and a poor manuscript might garner requests if the hook was done well. What is the 'purpose' of the hook?

Maybe it's simply that a good writers will master all of this kind of stuff...

thanks again.

Thanks so much for your time, Lane! My questions are about queries.

1. Should I mention that an agent requested a full of a previous manuscript of mine (which was ultimately rejected)? If so, what is the best way to bring it up? I'm worried about reminding agents they rejected my work before, but I have heard that some agents like to know if they looked at a previous manuscript. Also, does mentioning it depend on whether they specifically asked to see future work?

2. When it comes to comp titles, how big is too big? I've heard that you shouldn't comp to something/someone hugely successful because it makes you sound full of yourself (i.e. Stephen King), but also if you pick something too obscure, it's pointless. More specifically, in sci-fi, would anyone who has won a Hugo or Nebula be too big of a name?

Hi and thanks in advance.

I'm struggling with genre as I've written a new adult novel. There are some YA elements, and it's in a sci-fi wrapping. If I said mixed genre would that sound like I don't know my story or market?

What would you do if you read the whole manuscript and loved it, but found the final page to be weak?

Patty said:

Thank you, Lane, for your time. My 2 questions are also about queries.

1. Many agents request genre/word count in the subject line of the email. I usually place them there, and then reiterate them after the hook. I'm curious if they should be in front of the hook in the body of the email. Is it sufficient to have genre/word-count in the subject line?

2. In your opinion, what is the purpose of the hook in the query? Some say it takes the place of a synopsis to show a full story, and others say it proves you can write 'tightly,' and others say that is shows you are flexible enough to master at least two writing styles. One person told me it is to prove that you can sell something. Most people (that I've talked with) say that the query letter is more important than the pages in terms of getting a request for pages, and this puzzles me, since the pages are the thing that would be represented.

I am really puzzled as to what purpose the hook in the query letter serves, as silly as that might sound. I feel like a great manuscript might be missed by an agent if the hook is weak, and a poor manuscript might garner requests if the hook was done well. What is the 'purpose' of the hook?

Maybe it's simply that a good writers will master all of this kind of stuff...

thanks again.

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Hi Patty,

1. I'm not sure how often I've seen that requested, because it seems like wasted space. How I ask authors — and actually submit to editors — is: "BOOK TITLE by AUTHOR — GENRE". Granted, I add in a "AGENT SUBMISSION" there.

a. As long as your genre and word count is SOMEWHERE in the query, you're good.

2. I'll be honest, I'm a little stumped people would think the hook is anything other than tohook an agent or editor. There's a reason it's called such. When I submit to editors or producers I need to able to hook their attention with a killer pitch. They receive a lot of submissions and I need to shine over every other agent's submission. So, I think hooks are one of the most important — if not most — aspects of a query.

As an agent I can spend days or a week working on the perfect pitch. Sometimes I bring in the author to help perfect said pitch. It's also always good to roll with something high-concept. Something you can sell in 30 seconds or less.

You also may have noticed I bolded and italicized ​the word "hook(s)" an obnoxious number of times. That's because it's obnoxiously important.

aus10phile said:

Thanks so much for your time, Lane! My questions are about queries.

1. Should I mention that an agent requested a full of a previous manuscript of mine (which was ultimately rejected)? If so, what is the best way to bring it up? I'm worried about reminding agents they rejected my work before, but I have heard that some agents like to know if they looked at a previous manuscript. Also, does mentioning it depend on whether they specifically asked to see future work?

2. When it comes to comp titles, how big is too big? I've heard that you shouldn't comp to something/someone hugely successful because it makes you sound full of yourself (i.e. Stephen King), but also if you pick something too obscure, it's pointless. More specifically, in sci-fi, would anyone who has won a Hugo or Nebula be too big of a name?

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Hi Aus10phile,

Great questions!

1. Again, and like all things in publishing, this is very subjective. I don't really see a point in mentioning whether Agent A looked at and rejected a previous manuscript unless Agent A did say s/he wanted to see more of your work. In that case, you say, "Hi Agent A, you rejected Manuscript 1, but asked to see my future work, so here's Manuscript 2" or something akin to that.

2. THANK YOU for asking this question! I've had this conversation with so many authors, agents, and editors. Almost every one of those conversations involved someone rolling their eyes at someone or something.

a. Here's the thing: if the comp works, use it.

b. No matter how profile said comp is, or how unknown.

c. Editors and agents are a smart bunch and read widely. They will either know your comp or pretend they know it and quickly Google it so they don't look stupid.

d. Some comps I've successfully used, include:

i. Latinx Hidden Figures
ii. IT meets The Damned Thing
iii. IT meets Stand by Me,
iv. Pirates of the Caribbean and spycraft in an epic fantasy setting.
v. Astrophysyics for Lovecraft fans.
vi. The Godfather in space.

You'll notice not all of these are actually comp titles, which is fine, as long as they are high-concept. The moment you read those you know what they're about or hooked enough to want to know more.

Hope that helps!

MaeZe said:

Hi and thanks in advance.

I'm struggling with genre as I've written a new adult novel. There are some YA elements, and it's in a sci-fi wrapping. If I said mixed genre would that sound like I don't know my story or market?

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Hi MaeZe,

Yes, it would. There's no "mixed genre" section at Barnes & Noble. However, you're not pitching Barnes & Noble. You're pitching an agent. What you're describing is what we call "cross-genre" and it's hot right now. A lot of editors are asking for cross-genre material. So, you need to narrow this down. I can't say for sure what "sci-fi wrapping" is, but sci-fi is sci-fi is sci-fi. Hard, soft, literary, yada yada, is all sci-fi.

However, YA/NA don't go together. Two totally different worlds with totally different expectations. It also depends on your protagonist's age. Under 18 is more likely YA. 19+ is usually New Adult. Keep in mind most YA readers are adults and those young adults reading YA tend to read "age-up" — meaning a couple years older than they are.

Depending on the editors, publishers, and/or agents you're targeting, this could be a YA SF, NA SF, or Adult SF. I can't say for sure since I don't know specifics.

Best suggestion I can give is: you should be reading widely enough to know what genre you're writing, its tropes, and the tropes of other genres. I don't really represent inspirational fiction per se (I represent a number of clean romance authors), but I know inspirational fiction does not include the appearance of physical angels, swearing, onscreen deaths, and/or sexual activity.

I hope this helps and spurs you to do some hard research!

popmuze said:

What would you do if you read the whole manuscript and loved it, but found the final page to be weak?

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I would set up a call with said writer to talk about what made the ending weak and inquire how open would they be to fixing it.

There's a couple things to keep in mind:

1. Most third acts need work. Both in films and novels. It's just a fact.
2. An a bad ending can turn Frankenstein from Gothic horror to Gothic romance. I didn't sign up for a romance. I signed up to see a walking dead intellectual murder a bunch of people. Taking that left turn into Romancelandia would have absolutely ruined Shelley's masterpiece.

So yeah, a crummy ending can ruin an amazing book, but if you're game to fix it, so am I. Probably.

LaneHeymont said:

Hi MaeZe,

Yes, it would. There's no "mixed genre" section at Barnes & Noble. However, you're not pitching Barnes & Noble. You're pitching an agent. What you're describing is what we call "cross-genre" and it's hot right now. A lot of editors are asking for cross-genre material. So, you need to narrow this down. I can't say for sure what "sci-fi wrapping" is, but sci-fi is sci-fi is sci-fi. Hard, soft, literary, yada yada, is all sci-fi.

However, YA/NA don't go together. Two totally different worlds with totally different expectations. It also depends on your protagonist's age. Under 18 is more likely YA. 19+ is usually New Adult. Keep in mind most YA readers are adults and those young adults reading YA tend to read "age-up" — meaning a couple years older than they are.

Depending on the editors, publishers, and/or agents you're targeting, this could be a YA SF, NA SF, or Adult SF. I can't say for sure since I don't know specifics.

Best suggestion I can give is: you should be reading widely enough to know what genre you're writing, its tropes, and the tropes of other genres. I don't really represent inspirational fiction per se (I represent a number of clean romance authors), but I know inspirational fiction does not include the appearance of physical angels, swearing, onscreen deaths, and/or sexual activity.

I hope this helps and spurs you to do some hard research!

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Very helpful!

YA SF it is then, and I'll stop stressing over the fact my protagonist is on the edge of adulthood.

Hello, Lane. Thank you for sharing your time with everyone. That is very generous!

Questions
1. For a debut author, if a prologue is absolutely necessary, and he/she includes one, is that a pass for you (or are you willing to look it over without prejudice)?

2. If a story is overdone, such as wizard school for young people, is this an immediate pass for you (or willing to look it over without prejudice)?

3. Do you recommend debut, fantasy writers choose MG over YA (for their first book); i.e. is the YA market oversaturated?


Thank you.

I am struggling with labelling my novel with a specific genre. Is it ok to point an agent at past stories and say 'a bit like that with this or that twist.'
I would describe my book as Midnight Express but with a romantic start and finish. In the film there is a girlfriend but she gets forgotten which I felt to be a shame.
An alternative way to describe it would be. The romance of 'Cabaret' with a John le Carre conspiracy inserted in the middle.
Would these sort of genre descriptions put off or perk your interest?
Thank you for your time. It is facinating reading here.

Enlightened said:

Hello, Lane. Thank you for sharing your time with everyone. That is very generous!

Questions
1. For a debut author, if a prologue is absolutely necessary, and he/she includes one, is that a pass for you (or are you willing to look it over without prejudice)?

2. If a story is overdone, such as wizard school for young people, is this an immediate pass for you (or willing to look it over without prejudice)?

3. Do you recommend debut, fantasy writers choose MG over YA (for their first book); i.e. is the YA market oversaturated?


Thank you.

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Hi Enlightened,

1. I'm not sure why a prologue would be "absolutely necessary", but a prologue isn't automatically a pass. Prologues have very specific jobs. Most prologues do not feature the protagonist, but take place before our story begins, and do not necessarily involve our story. For example. I recently read a thriller in which the prologue involved two baddies chasing down and shooting at a car. In the first chapter, our hero hears about this event through a fellow cop and assumes it's a random non-event (gangbangers, etc.). However, later on he learns those two baddies work for the baddie he's been hunting. So, our hero interrogates the two baddies from the prologue for info on his baddie.

The example prologue contains the typical tropes:

a. does not feature our protagonist
b. occurs before the story takes place
c. does not necessarily *directly* involve our story.

2. "Overdone" isn't a pass per se, because everything is overdone. My cousin, a big time writer in Hollywood, said there hasn't been a new idea in writing for 75 years. And that was 75 years ago. Harry Potter is not original, neither is Percy Jackson, or The Count of Monte Cristo. Obviously, some story had to come first, but according to Aristotle, in his Poetics, there are really only two plots: Tragedy and Comedy.

We can then break those down into "man" vs. self, "man" vs nature, Golden Fleece, and dozens of different theories.

What's my point? Originality isn't original, it's how you tell the story.

3. Interesting question...I suggest you write the story you want to read. There's more to fantasy than YA or MG. Granted, YA fantasy is saturated, but so is every other genre. There's no magic formula. Writing to trends is dangerous, because the trends you see started two years ago.

Knowing the market is important, but writing something great should be your focus.

Hope this helps without being too verbose or disjointed!

chokdee said:

I am struggling with labelling my novel with a specific genre. Is it ok to point an agent at past stories and say 'a bit like that with this or that twist.'
I would describe my book as Midnight Express but with a romantic start and finish. In the film there is a girlfriend but she gets forgotten which I felt to be a shame.
An alternative way to describe it would be. The romance of 'Cabaret' with a John le Carre conspiracy inserted in the middle.
Would these sort of genre descriptions put off or perk your interest?
Thank you for your time. It is facinating reading here.

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What you are describing are high-concept comps, not genres. Midnight Express is not a genre, neither is Cabaret or John le Carre. Genres include thriller, mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, western, horror, general, romance, women's fiction, etc.

It sounds like you don't know what your story is or need a brush up on genres. My best suggestion is to reread your book, read widely across genres, and see where yours fit.

Hope that's helpful!

Hello Lane.

Awesome responses; everything I needed. Greatly appreciated!

Have a wonderful weekend.

Hi Lane,

Thanks for answering our questions!

1) How important is personalization in a query letter (assuming the author has no prior relationship or contact with the agent)? Is it appreciated when the author specifies why they queried a particular agent, or is it unnecessary?

2) Can you elaborate on your point that "cross-genre" is hot right now? What about it appeals to editors? And is it better for certain genres than for others? My current project is a Fantasy/Western, so I'd love to be able to ride a trend

Hi Lane,

I was wondering, since you professionally HAVE to keep an eye on the pulse of the market, what your feelings are towards both the adult and YA SFF markets? Are there any changes or trends you see happening between the two? Is YA still the bigger market in terms of commercial potential?