Word Choices

popmuze

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I have a ten page scene between the narrator and his father, who he hasn't seen in a long time. I find myself alternating between the narrator calling his father dad, my father, and Sid (his first name). Should I choose one and stick with it? Is it jarring to say "my father" in three different sentences and then "dad" in the fourth and fifth and then "Sid" and then back to "dad." Or is it more of a feel thing?
 

awriter

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Just choose one and use it consistently. Alternating will probably stick out like a sore thumb and annoy readers. I would probably go with dad, or maybe father if the narrator has a more formal voice*. Sid seems weird to me. I always call my parents mom and dad, and can't remember the last time I actually referred to them by their names. Maybe other people are different, so take that with a grain of salt. However, since you mentioned that the narrator and his father are estranged, using Sid could suggest that the narrator doesn't consider him to be his father after being gone for such a long time.

*I'm assuming you're writing in first person, since the narrator is also a character in the story and you used the phrase "my father" rather than just father. If you're writing in third person, I would probably reverse this advice and prefer father over dad.
 

The Second Moon

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I had the exact same problem in my story, but mine is third. Since my is third, I called the dad by his first name for the parts that weren't in dialogue. But in dialogue parts the character calls him Dad. But, that's just my style.
 

BethS

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I have a ten page scene between the narrator and his father, who he hasn't seen in a long time. I find myself alternating between the narrator calling his father dad, my father, and Sid (his first name). Should I choose one and stick with it? Is it jarring to say "my father" in three different sentences and then "dad" in the fourth and fifth and then "Sid" and then back to "dad." Or is it more of a feel thing?

Does the viewpoint character think of his father as "Sid"? I imagine not, so it's going to be jarring to see that popping up in the narrative. "Dad" is more intimate, but whether you use that will depend on how the narrator feels about his father. If there's a distance between them after all the elapsed years, then "his father" is probably more appropriate, maybe supplementing that with "he" as long as it's clear who "he" refers to.

And fwiw, this applies to both first-person and third-person limited. (Omniscient is another thing altogether.) If you're writing in third-person-limited, whatever is in the narrative should be considered as an extension of the narrator's thoughts and observations, same as first-person.
 
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RFEinc

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I think it would be rare to find a son referring to his father by formal first name -- unless you're trying to evoke some kind of stilted relationship, maybe even animosity. The close familial honorific "dad" is obviously far more informal compared to "father"... but I guess if they haven't seen each other for a decade, familial honorifics might be off the table. Hard to say for sure without knowing more about why they've been estranged so long.
 

halion

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Hello people. This is a simple one. Which sounds more natural? And could you get used to either if it was used repeatedly.

This was a boy. A special boy. A boy of golden hair. And what did he do you ask? He picked apples. Yes, this boy of golden hair picked apples all day.


This was a boy. A special boy. A boy with golden hair. And what did he do you ask? He picked apples. Yes, this boy with golden hair picked apples all day.