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How to get over fear of failure?

Kiteya

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Oh man, have I been where you are. Heck, I'm still there right now. Fear is scary. That sounds dumb, but it's true. And I promise you, your story is worth it. Fear like this isn't something that goes away easily, if it goes away at all. But it isn't forever. Everything is temporary, even fear. Everyone's writing is worth something, and that means yours too. It doesn't have to be perfect. Writing never really is. I think one of the best ways to beat that fear is to write. Tell your fear that it isn't the boss of you! Keep writing and keep going. Sure, success isn't guaranteed, not even for best-selling authors. But that doesn't mean the chance isn't there. I believe in you, and I know the others on this site do as well. You've always got people cheering for you! And those are the voices that truly matter. Good luck to you. I believe in you!
 

Laneer

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Most of life is learning how to wage combat effectively with your own mind.

That recently deceased cook said, "part of me just wants to stay in bed, get high and watch cartoons all day. I've spent most of my life fighting with that side of me."

Or something like that.
 

Kat M

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Do you have someone in your life who's almost embarrassing, the way they cheer for you?
I broke the rules and I shared the first, unedited draft of my novel with my mother. She loved it. That gave me confidence, even though I'm rationally aware that one's mom's opinion is vastly biased. When I'm having doubts, I get her to pep-talk me.
The two downsides to this approach are, now I have a really hard time writing content that's not-mom-appropriate, and it can occasionally lead to an inflated ego.
I do what you do with movie reviews, too. Only I go on Goodreads and find one of my favorite books, the sort that I want to write when I grow up. I read the 1-star reviews all the way through the 5-star reviews. Usually I'll find one of my favorite aspects of the book, the one that I want to emulate, absolutely panned in the 1-star reviews. That's comforting. The 5-star reviews keep me from becoming too critical.
 

pseudowriter

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I think all writer-types suffer "imposter syndrome". I know I do. Daily.

I have found it helpful, if I get in the mood of "I suck, everyone hates me, no one will like this, this is stupid" - I watch videos of speeches by writers I really like and admire. One of my favorite go-tos is Neil Gaiman's 'Make Good Art' speech (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikAb-NYkseI). It always makes me feel better.

If videos don't work, I try to remind myself that there are no bad ideas. Honestly, if you break a lot of blockbusting ideas down to the basics, they sound pretty lame. Like, an angry guy runs around with knives sticking out of his knuckles = Wolverine. And once you realize there are no bad ideas, it helps you to get it down to paper and see where it goes.
 

Spaceranger82

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Me, I've always found it helpful to not care, or at least to care less than usual. Then again, you've got to have some degree of care because without it, your quality of work suffers.
 

Magnificent Bastard

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I have expectations. I have ambition too, and a bad case of "you should be further along than this", paired with a lot of thinking in absolutes—but still, ultimately it's simple.

Is quitting an option?

For me, it is not. Stories come to me and writing is who I am. So from there, I remind myself why I write and what about each particular story resonates with that—and really, that's the most I can do. I can write stories the way no one else can, because they're my stories. If no one likes them, no one likes them. It would suck, but I still couldn't/wouldn't stop being a writer and telling more stories. If just one person needs them, it's worth the gamble.
 

SWPelzer

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A couple of thoughts - if you have completed a story that you like and are considering sharing, how can you be a failure? Also, you have to realize that no matter what you write or create, there are always going to be people who will love it and people who won't. It is the nature of the world. Not everyone has the same experiences and/or knowledge and everything they see is going to be filtered by what that person brings to the story. It is hard to put something out into the world that you have created and it is so easy to give into the fear that it will not be appreciated, but if you can recognize that people are not rejecting you/your work, but just importing it into their makeup and finding that it doesn't fit, things should get easier.
 

RookieWriter

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An apology if the question sounds like a noob, but it's something that I deal with constantly.

I constantly question myself "what if no one likes my story?" I really don't want to waste time. I don't know if all the effort would be worth my time.

I watch a lot of movie reviews on Youtube. There are some filmmakers who put plenty of effort into their films, and yet their films still end up being the butt of the jokes among the Youtubers and their commenters. My worst fear is that my story will end up in one of the mocking Youtube videos.

I'm still writing. Just that the fear is constantly eating me and it gives me no peace.

A wise man once said "you don't fail until you stop trying."

Even writers who are the most famous of all have their critics. Some people don't like Breaking Bad. I've heard people call Stephen King a hack. You can't please everyone. The key is to enjoy the journey. Your fear of being judged is stopping you from doing just that.

A wise man once said "OK to lose to opponent. Must not lose to fear."
 

JEChillemi

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Don't think of it as failure. Someone once told me, "Whatever you do, don't stop." Instead of viewing it as success/failure, I just think about it as "Don't stop." Just keep going*.

If you reach a point where you stop writing, then you've failed.

*There is a tiny tiny footnote here, and you should keep going as long as you keep learning. Doing the same unsuccessful thing over and over again is certain death. Doing one unsuccessful thing and learning from it is the right way. Just keep going.


Yeah, I like this. You just need to write. If you are or not successful is secondary, as depressing as that may seem.
 

benacrow

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The way I see it, if you don't fail, you don't learn anything. It is really tough to put your work out there, but if you never do, you'll never know if it's any good, or how you could improve. The best way to get over your fear of failure would be to fail and fail again, then build yourself up stronger every time.
 

JJ-Blocks

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The only way I found to suppress the fear of failure is to remind myself that if I don't write, I will be a failure regardless. So, its either be a failure that at the very least, gained valuable experience and insight, or, a failure that never tried to do anything in his/her life.
 

Azdaphel

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Those people you see mocking films: Who are they? Have they done better? Where's their evidence of having done so? Has it occurred to you that they can't do better? That it's possible they're jealous of someone who was willing to create something and put it out there when they know they can't? Or maybe they're hoping to be perceived as clever. Trying to be clever at someone else's expense is an asshole move and most people recognize it for what it is. Yeah, it typically backfires. Pity them.

I back this up and it doesn't only apply to films (comments on Steam for example). I found out that people who mock, bash or insult others work never have objective arguments. Worse, some of them just want everything to suit their taste. Not everything can be liked by everyone.

On the fear of failures. Failures are there for you to learn from.
 

frimble3

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Being mocked on the Internet, in a way, is a good sign - it means several people have read your work! If only one person ever read your book, why bother mocking it? Where's the 'fun' in ripping into something when you have to explain it, line by line? No, it's the popular that get mocked, and, invariably the mockers are outnumbered by those who read and at least tolerated the book.
That's why authors like to be published - that way, people mocking their work have had to buy a copy!
In a phrase popularized by Liberace, they are 'crying all the way to the bank'.
Do you really think Steven King or Barbara Cartland care about the haters?

Another platitude for the file: The only person who never fails is the person who never does anything.
 
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SAWeiner

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The only way I found to suppress the fear of failure is to remind myself that if I don't write, I will be a failure regardless. So, its either be a failure that at the very least, gained valuable experience and insight, or, a failure that never tried to do anything in his/her life.

My sentiments are similar. I remind myself that if I don't put myself out there, then there is a 100% chance of failure. By putting myself out there, complete failure is just one of several possibilities, some of which are actually good.
 

Enlightened

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As long as you meet your expectations, you can't fail. The rest is icing on the cake. Goals are higher aspirations than expectations. Pipe dreams are higher aspirations than goals.

Expectation example: I expect to learn how to write a book well.

Goal example: It is my goal to get a great agent and published.

Pipe dream example: It is my pipe dream to become a bestselling author.
 

Rupert24

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I think everybody, not only writers, have the same problem in every aspect of the life

what about if i suck at this? what about if people think i'm a stupid? what about my project goes to the trash?

First of all, you're not a noob, you're just a human being like me who fears about the future and the uncertainty and it's totally normal. Now said this, we're in the world of 8........ millions of millions of people, people who have different beliefs, different ways to think, different ways to determinate which is good which is bad, what's inmoral, what is not... etc etc, do you think is a ridiculous idea stop doing what you love just for please them? think about it ;)

Unfortunately, nothing that people say in the forum will matter until your face that fear, is the only way to do it :/

And you will probably think i'm the meanest guy ever but let's face it, the community can cheer up, they can give you our life experiences but at the end, we can face your fear for you, is your battle and is your responsability move your butt and fight for your dreams. The best advice i can give you is NEVER GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, and also remember, what is bad for some people, for other people is a piece of art ;)