Knowing when to add a Prologue?

vicky271 · Dec 9, 2018

So I'm about 5k into my first draft. I realized, when I got to 5k yesterday, that the first scene I wrote wasn't the first scene. That where I started the story wasn't the correct or proper event to start things off. I also realized that while there was information necessary for the readers to know before that scene, there wasn't enough for a whole other chapter. As a result, I'm convinced a prologue is the best course of action. However, I'm not sure and I'd like your guys' input.

The first scene I wrote is of Uncle Hermana and his niece trudging through a village on their way to a cabin in the woods where they will meet a dwarf and other parents because the children are being taken to a school in another dimension. The cabin is near a cave that has tunnels that weave in between dimensions to other planets. But people don't know via the journey to the cabin why Herman and his niece are heading there, and I feel like that's appropriate information I'd like to show the audience (rather than tell). I'm thinking my prologue should show two specific events that occur prior to them journeying to the cabin. Specifically, all children living in other dimensions who were born on Zara (they world the children are traveling to via the tunnels) receive Zarian messengers to inform them that they're going to be tested to discover which three "job classifications" will be their majors at the school. And then later, they get tested.

I feel that particular scene, however, is unnecessary. So I feel like my prologue should include Anora receiving her school letter.

At the same time I feel these scenes are redundant. But including this information in the woods scene is out of the question because Uncle Herman, though he's never hidden from Anora that she was born on Zara, is not much of a talker about the country because he hates it.

I know people say first books shouldn't have prologues, but how do you know when you should include one?

Chris P · Dec 9, 2018

Seems to me you could weave the necessary facts into flashbacks rather than a prologue. The opening you have sounds like a good one, and I think the risk you run is if the prologue isn't a better opening you might lose the reader faster. But you're only 5K into a first draft. I'd suggest getting quite a bit farther in before you decide. Who know? Maybe how things go over the next 20 or 30K words will change things in such a way you won't need the prologue, or maybe you'll find a different, even better opening.

porlock · Dec 9, 2018

My first three novels had prologues, all were failures. Don't know if that's the reason, but I quit using them a long time ago (been published since).

lizmonster · Dec 9, 2018

The rule isn't "don't write prologues," it's "don't write infodumps." The reason people say "don't write prologues" is that a lot of writers think of prologues as "background I need the readers to know before they start the story," and IMHO such prologues almost always bog things down.

You don't need your readers to understand everything that's going on in the first scene. You need them to be interested in the characters and grounded in the setting. You want them to have questions, because questions will keep them turning the page.

Based on your description, I'd suggest following Chris P's advice and scattering information into the scene as necessary. I'd also suggest erring on the side of too little information rather than too much - IME we always assume our readers need to know more than they actually do.

AW Admin · Dec 9, 2018

There's an FAQ in BWQ about Prologues, since prologue questions are so very, very common.

talktidy · Dec 9, 2018

If you want a prologue, then go for it. You're still in first draft territory, so nothing is set in stone so to speak.

I used a prologue in my WIP. Come revision phase, I may keep some of it, but the rest will be redistributed into later chapters, or more likely cut entirely.

Keep putting words on the page and 1) you should have a clearer idea of the story you want to tell, and 2) you should get better at this writing malarkey.

Laer Carroll · Dec 12, 2018

AW Admin said:
There's an FAQ in BWQ about Prologues, since prologue questions are so very, very common.

READ THIS before you go further in this thread. It's short but clear and practical; your time will not be wasted.

A prologue is like any other writing tool. It can be done well, ill, or in between.

___________________________________________

My latest book (and happily very successful in pulling in readers & establishing a fan base of well over a thousand) has a prologue in four parts. Each part is short and segues naturally into the next. Each is a scene, mostly "showing" with most "telling" part of dialogue. They are all part of the first chapter. It is not labeled a prologue.

Each has a different viewpoint. Each narrows down the viewpoint. The fourth part of the chapter begins with an important secondary character's viewpoint. Here are the first sentences in each part.

The object drifted in interstellar space for a good fraction of a million years, debris from a colossal war or stellar disaster or mistaken experiment.
The park's grounds supervisor liked to get an early start on the several workers under him.
The med techs arrived at the same time as the police but hurried before them with a stretcher board.
Dr. Natalie Sasuni sat down with her supervisor in midafternoon to discuss the girl's case.

The second chapter begins with the main character's viewpoint.

I could have begun with the second chapter. I did not out of writer's intuition. After the novel was done and fine tuned in other ways I considered deleting the prologue chapter but decided it was good exactly as it was. My intuition proved right.

frimble3 · Dec 12, 2018

vicky271 said:
Specifically, all children living in other dimensions who were born on Zara (they world the children are traveling to via the tunnels) receive Zarian messengers to inform them that they're going to be tested to discover which three "job classifications" will be their majors at the school. And then later, they get tested.

I feel that particular scene, however, is unnecessary. So I feel like my prologue should include Anora receiving her school letter.

At the same time I feel these scenes are redundant. But including this information in the woods scene is out of the question because Uncle Herman, though he's never hidden from Anora that she was born on Zara, is not much of a talker about the country because he hates it.

I know people say first books shouldn't have prologues, but how do you know when you should include one?

In your situation, I'd just follow Anora's experience as she learns this stuff:
Was she raised knowing this was going on, is she expecting it? Anticipating it? Dreading it?
Show her meeting the Zarian messenger (which will tell you something about Zara - who introduces himself or Uncle Herman sullenly does. Dab of explanation, she receives the letter, the messenger tells her what it is, Uncle Herman provides some supplemental information.

They start on the journey, Anora, naturally, is torn between the home she's leaving, and what's up ahead. Uncle Herman spits out bits of info. He can do so reluctantly, he can use it as a chance to air his grievances, he can warn her about 'those shifty Zarans'.
(It might be a more natural way to get out the necessary information, without writing the 'Zarapedia', which is the kind of prologue I dislike. He hates Zara, and he doesn't want to talk about it, and everything he says is coloured by that. Anora may come to realise that, later.) They''re walking along and talking.
I don't know your story or your world, but maybe she won't see him again, or at least not for a long time, and it's maybe it's his last chance to talk to her. About anything.

The testing: this will come naturally, as she's at the school with a bunch of strangers. Some will be asking questions, others will be sharing off their supposed 'knowledge'. I assume the school will explain stuff. Just show the training and the tests as she takes them.

MaeZe · Dec 13, 2018

lizmonster said:
The rule isn't "don't write prologues," it's "don't write infodumps." The reason people say "don't write prologues" is that a lot of writers think of prologues as "background I need the readers to know before they start the story," and IMHO such prologues almost always bog things down.

You don't need your readers to understand everything that's going on in the first scene. You need them to be interested in the characters and grounded in the setting. You want them to have questions, because questions will keep them turning the page.

I have a very complex set-up to my story. I'm struggling with the query because of it. But for the book itself, as I wrote it I found none of that backstory was necessary to start the story. Backstory is well served as a mystery unfolding for the reader.

You're only 5K words in, I'd keep going without one but at some point, write one then decide if you want to keep it. Same is true for the first chapter. Some writers can write the first chapter first. I did but threw that one out altogether. And I've lost track of how many times I've re-written the beginning, always creating improvements over the older version.

Just keep writing, changes will come.

MaeZe · Dec 13, 2018

AW Admin said:
There's an FAQ in BWQ about Prologues, since prologue questions are so very, very common.

That is quite the wealth of resources about prologues. :Thumbs:

mewellsmfu · Dec 15, 2018

Like MaeZe, I have rewritten my first chapter so many times I can't possibly count them. And I'm going to wade back in and change it again. I find I include less backstory each go-round, instead winnowing it down and placing it within the story itself. But YMMV.

I believe that the book itself should begin when the action (or storyline that carries the story along) also begins. Not saying this is the right solution for everyone, but I want to jump right into the story when I read. I am of the camp that doesn't care for prologues, but there are lots of people who love onions and I can't stand them. So, po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to. Not sure there's one right answer. But I think MaeZe's advice is very solid. Just keep writing and you will eventually figure it out.

It's a lot harder than it seems on the surface.

Harlequin · Dec 16, 2018

When it feels right.

I'm generally not a prologue fan, but I wrote a 400 word prologue for the last book I queried (is currently on sub) and no one has complained about it. I called it Chapter 0. I don't think most people realised it was a prologue, but it was basically the narrator introducing herself in first person.

benbenberi · Dec 18, 2018

A prologue is very seldom actually necessary. Readers generally don't need nearly as much backstory as writers want to give them, and there are much more efficient and elegant ways to provide it in the course of the story than by front loading a prologue ahead of it. (By definition, the story starts with Chapter 1. Anything before that is not actually part of the story--otherwise, wouldn't that be Chapter 1 instead?)

Suggestion: write the prologue you want to write. Detach it from the manuscript. Give the manuscript -- without prologue -- to your beta readers, critique partners, or whoever. Take note of any questions they have about backstory, indications they have gotten confused or misled by its absence, places where they didn't have the information needed to follow along, any points of confusion related to backstory, etc. Then take a look at your prologue and see how much of it is directly relevant to the reader comments. If your prologue answers their questions, maybe you need it after all. If it doesn't, you don't -- instead, in the next iteration you should address the narrative gaps that readers actually noticed (but not necessarily by a different prologue -- it's still a good idea to minimize the narrative overhead and start at the beginning, not before.)

Cal_Darin · Dec 18, 2018

vicky271 said:
At the same time I feel these scenes are redundant. But including this information in the woods scene is out of the question because Uncle Herman, though he's never hidden from Anora that she was born on Zara, is not much of a talker about the country because he hates it.

So, not that I know your Uncle Herman character, but if he hates the country, could you introduce the information on Zara through him griping about it?

Hell, Zara is actually not that bad a place, it might be a good way to build up tension. If she looks up to him, then maybe she can carry those negative expectations and then has them proven wrong as an expectation? (Or if they do suck, then she knows what she's getting into?)

Dunno-- just a thought! I also had a prologue initially, and I brought it to my first critique session, and the folks in my group basically said "cut that s*** out!"

screenscope · Dec 18, 2018

Prologues receive a lot of unfair negativity within the writing community, but I suspect readers don't care either way. I certainly don't and I assume the writer had a good reason for using it.

A prologue just another tool for writers to use when appropriate and it would be shame to dismiss it without testing whether it's the best way to start a story.

Gillhoughly · Dec 19, 2018

vicky271 said:
So I'm about 5k into my first draft.

Finish your first draft, then go back and fix things. You may not know until you get there that you've places to include vital info.

The first scene I wrote is of Uncle Hermana and his niece trudging through a village on their way to a cabin in the woods <snip>

This former slush pile editor stopped reading the description at that point. Your hook needs to be a real hook, not what is an ordinary activity for the characters. A trudge through the village may be exciting to you if it's the first time you've written such a scene. You know all the possibilities that are ahead. All the reader has is that first line/paragraph to go by and it needs to be worth their time.

That first line has to mercilessly GRAB them so they are forced to buy your book, and then they must curse your name because you kept them up all night reading it.

my prologue should include Anora receiving her school letter.

No, it should not, because it's been done already by Harry Potter, rather too famously so at this point. Any editor will spot that and wince.

Update: Okay, I read the rest of that paragraph and the messengers with job classifications are too close to sending out owls with mail and that sorting hat. You need to ditch that or it will be indie publish only with reviews comparing things unfavorably to Rowling.

I should know, back in the day when my much younger self was trying to write fanfic, my "newest" story idea was too obviously patterned on that week's TV episode. I was utterly unaware of what I was doing, but my friends in that little writing club called me on it. Every. Time. They finally resorted to throwing food. Trust me, potato chip crumbs are hard to get out of shag carpet.

It's okay to be inspired by a favorite book or writer, but you have to file the serial numbers off more thoroughly than that.

Shake things up and break out of the Hogwart's box. Have Anora already in class and she gets a notice that (say) she is being expelled, no explanation, which is visible only to her guardian when he reads it. Lean into her emotional reactions and that of her schoolmates. Make it personal. If you've ever gotten devastating and unfair news, this is the time to haul those emotions out and put them on the page. They will be something readers can relate to and maybe they will want to know more. HOOK!

She's not being expelled? Then something else. Maybe the town dwarf drops dead on the school steps muttering her name or her uncle announces they're moving to Potsdorf to raise polecats, no arguments, get packing.

What you do not do is bog a story down with too much backstory. Have your characters hit the ground running and make sure they are smart. All my characters are smarter than I am and think their way out of jams with no help from me. It's weird, but works.

One way to learn to write a hook is to get to the nearest bookstore with a notepad and open the first 50 books in your chosen genre. Read the first line in each. Did it hook you? If so, make a note of the writer and title, this may be someone who can teach you how to do a solid opening.

At the same time I feel these scenes are redundant.

Trust your gut, it will always be right.

Don't worry about a prologue until the whole story is locked in to your satisfaction. If you absolutely have to put in vital info before starting the real story, then make it SHORT. I have a book like that with only half a page to set out what the reader needs to know to navigate that world.

The original reason to have a prologue was back in the early days when Dickens was grossing a penny a word with chapters running in newspapers each week. (Now you know why those novels were so bloody long.) A prologue gave the setting for a book, which might have been unfamiliar to an untraveled readership. The difference between then and now is that most writers today simply do not know how to write an effective prologue. My own view is that less is more and start your book at the latest possible point when something interesting is going on.

Harlequin · Dec 20, 2018

general rule of thumb: If you feel compelled to take your prologue off your MS when querying, on the grounds that Chapter 1 (or whenever) is when it gets exciting, then it probably doesn't belong on the MS full stop.

exceptions always apply

Shoeless · Dec 20, 2018

Harlequin said:
general rule of thumb: If you feel compelled to take your prologue off your MS when querying, on the grounds that Chapter 1 (or whenever) is when it gets exciting, then it probably doesn't belong on the MS full stop.

exceptions always apply

That's pretty much the reason why I queried my novel with the prologue intact. I needed it, because Chapter 1 actually started a little slow. My prologue started with an untrained, teenage mage taking out a surplus 21st century tank. It hit the ground running, setting up in action movie fashion a cyberpunk world co-existing with magic by having a prodigy street gang girl in the fight of her life. My chapter 1 begins decades later when that same teen is now one of the top combat mage mercenaries in the world, but she's attending a funeral, so it was definitely much more low key compared to the slam-bang of the prologue. I managed to get an offer of representation with that prologue and my agent never made any suggestions to cut it, so it was one of those instances where The Powers That Be decided I'd justified its inclusion. But I took the approach that it was like those action sequences that open up a James Bond film before the opening credits, and the main story gets underway, so, to be fair, I was following a pretty well-established mechanic.

vicky271 · Dec 20, 2018

Gillhoughly said:
Finish your first draft, then go back and fix things. You may not know until you get there that you've places to include vital info.

This former slush pile editor stopped reading the description at that point. Your hook needs to be a real hook, not what is an ordinary activity for the characters. A trudge through the village may be exciting to you if it's the first time you've written such a scene. You know all the possibilities that are ahead. All the reader has is that first line/paragraph to go by and it needs to be worth their time.

That first line has to mercilessly GRAB them so they are forced to buy your book, and then they must curse your name because you kept them up all night reading it.

No, it should not, because it's been done already by Harry Potter, rather too famously so at this point. Any editor will spot that and wince.

Update: Okay, I read the rest of that paragraph and the messengers with job classifications are too close to sending out owls with mail and that sorting hat. You need to ditch that or it will be indie publish only with reviews comparing things unfavorably to Rowling.

I should know, back in the day when my much younger self was trying to write fanfic, my "newest" story idea was too obviously patterned on that week's TV episode. I was utterly unaware of what I was doing, but my friends in that little writing club called me on it. Every. Time. They finally resorted to throwing food. Trust me, potato chip crumbs are hard to get out of shag carpet.

It's okay to be inspired by a favorite book or writer, but you have to file the serial numbers off more thoroughly than that.

Shake things up and break out of the Hogwart's box. Have Anora already in class and she gets a notice that (say) she is being expelled, no explanation, which is visible only to her guardian when he reads it. Lean into her emotional reactions and that of her schoolmates. Make it personal. If you've ever gotten devastating and unfair news, this is the time to haul those emotions out and put them on the page. They will be something readers can relate to and maybe they will want to know more. HOOK!

She's not being expelled? Then something else. Maybe the town dwarf drops dead on the school steps muttering her name or her uncle announces they're moving to Potsdorf to raise polecats, no arguments, get packing.

What you do not do is bog a story down with too much backstory. Have your characters hit the ground running and make sure they are smart. All my characters are smarter than I am and think their way out of jams with no help from me. It's weird, but works.

One way to learn to write a hook is to get to the nearest bookstore with a notepad and open the first 50 books in your chosen genre. Read the first line in each. Did it hook you? If so, make a note of the writer and title, this may be someone who can teach you how to do a solid opening.

Trust your gut, it will always be right.

Don't worry about a prologue until the whole story is locked in to your satisfaction. If you absolutely have to put in vital info before starting the real story, then make it SHORT. I have a book like that with only half a page to set out what the reader needs to know to navigate that world.

The original reason to have a prologue was back in the early days when Dickens was grossing a penny a word with chapters running in newspapers each week. (Now you know why those novels were so bloody long.) A prologue gave the setting for a book, which might have been unfamiliar to an untraveled readership. The difference between then and now is that most writers today simply do not know how to write an effective prologue. My own view is that less is more and start your book at the latest possible point when something interesting is going on.

I hope you don't mind If respond with a lengthier comment than I normally do. Mostly because your comment causied a long line of emotions. I would've responded much sooner, but I know myself well enough to hold off responding until I've cycled through the negative, inner toxic emotions and transitioned to the reflection part of my processing. I have, thankfully, finally got to this part of emotion/reflection, etc.

I hope you're alright with my honesty. I love to include this so people understand how I feel. It's also a reminder to myself that I'm not the moody little child anymore. I've grown and developed, and I'm capable of reflection and understanding. It's a re-enforcement.

So I read this comment last night, and I cycled through several emotions. It's like stages of grief, but I refer to it as stages of emotional confidence. Pretty much, my confidence during this cycle depends on the current emotion (I'm a VERY feely kind of person). I transition between certain emotions and end in reflection. The order is never set in stone, and the amount of emotions I feel is dependant on the situation. For instance, this time contained a limited amount of emotions, and the order was: Anger and Frustration. Sadness. Reflection. I spent several hours last night angry and really frustrated. This morning, that frustration transitioned to frustration with myself. A few hours later, that transitioned to sadness and self-doubt. About an hour ago, that transitioned to reflection and understanding. Which also prompts thanks for taking time out of your schedule to write such a lengthy response.

The lack of interest in the introduction emphasizes something that I feel I have been pushing around in my head for some while so I'm glad you brought it up. Characters trudging around in the snow is very boring and tedious. I, as the author, see what's coming, but the audience doesn't so I have to hook them and keep them until "what's coming" arrives. Your comment prompts me to reconsider where I start my story, and how far into the action I need to be before the story can start. Part of the main storyline is students are disappearing. Sometimes, their bodies are found, and in most cases, they aren't. The best approach, in this case, could be to start the story when a student's body is found. I will also re-think the classification, and try to re-think how students get into fellowships after their education is over (perhaps, scouts come to the schools to see students in actions, and "bid" through perk offers to get students to their fellowship institute).

All in all, thank you for your response. It made me think about the story I'm pursuing! I almost gave up, but after reflection, I see I just have to change some things

Gillhoughly · Dec 20, 2018

Props to you for surviving my comments! I tend to create mortal enemies after dragging their word kids through the wringer, but writers like you get it. Pro publishing is one tough job requiring a thick hide and a willingness to fight. When an agent told me I was a good writer but unpublishable I got so mad I couldn't see straight and vowed to feed him his own words sideways. It worked, another rewrite and the book sold. I still had this Ego Thing and plenty of fights with editors ahead, but at least I'd gotten over the transom. Get mad, it's a positive emotion and can keep you energized and passionate about the writing.

I did get way off the topic of when to include a prologue, though. The short answer should have been "When the book is finished AND after beta readers have kicked it around like a soccer ball." I forgot to include that.

I didn't intend to do a crit of the synopsis paragraph, but since it happened, I hope it will help. Seems to me that you may be hung up on the mechanics of how things work in that world rather than just working them into the story. It's like Captain Kirk stopping to explain how a phaser works. Nope, just fire that sucker and stun the alien, worry about the physics later.

While I am not a fan of prologues, if they are absolutely needed to start a book, then do one, but only after finishing. Since you're just 5K words into what might be a 100K opus with no deadline, you have the luxury to think things through.

You may want to check a "sort of" prologue in Ill Wind by Rachel Caine. Instead of a scene set in the far past that explains about Djinn and how they teamed with the Weather Wardens, the short piece is an excerpt from an owner's manual on them. It is bitterly hilarious, especially when read after finishing the book. You can see how far things went off the rails in the complicated relations between Djinn and humans. It's in the Look Inside feature on Amazon, but you have to scroll up from the chapter one page.

One of the how-to books she recommends is "Save the Cat" which is about script writing, but it converts to writing novels easily enough. I used it to help with my plotting, boiling things down to essentials for a frame, then adding the meat of character to those bones. My books are character driven and the kind I like best to read, so take that bias into account when it comes to my feedback.

Again, congrats on having a pro's reaction to my blather.

Now--GO KICK BUTT. Make me eat the blather sideways on a hammock in a hurricane.

vicky271 · Dec 21, 2018

Thank you, everyone, for your help. I will respond to all comments when I'm able to! Unfortunately, I've decided after much reflection that the main character I chose to face off of my villain is not compelling enough to keep. I've also discovered that's she was not the RIGHT character. I will be getting rid of the story but keeping some pieces such as the villain, his friends, the entirety of my world, etc. Since the villain and his origins was discovered after world-building, I'm going to be writing some short stories for world-building purposes for fun, and to seek out a compelling main character. Thank you for advice on prologue! I will keep it in mind

Knowing when to add a Prologue?

vicky271

Chris P

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

porlock

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

AW Admin

talktidy

Laer Carroll

Aerospace engineer turned writer

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

MaeZe

MaeZe

mewellsmfu

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

benbenberi

practical experience, FTW

Cal_Darin

There's always another secret!

screenscope

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Shoeless

vicky271

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

vicky271