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Freaking out over higher word counts

Mytherea

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Honestly, I’m not even sure if this is the place to post this, since I’m not stopped, just… slowed to a crawl but, does anyone else get freaked out as their word count meter grows?

I’ve just crossed the 100k barrier and, while I’m doing much better than I had been in the 80-100k stretch, that old fear of writing a long book is creeping up on me. Again. Even though I know I’ll cut 20%-30% in edits at least, even though I know I shouldn’t get so worked up over word count, I already factored this one and I knew it was going to be long when I started, even though logical me knows that word count isn’t the be-all-or-end-all as emotional me believes, I’m still struggling with the terror of adding to my word count. It’s not even quality that I freak out about. I don’t fight the “you’re a crap writer” voices (well, much), I fight the “you’ve written too big a book, it doesn’t matter if it’s good or not, no one would want to waste their time reading that” voices.

See, I’d thought this was a problem that was isolated to my last book. I hit 100k and things just crawled till I hit end-game, but I thought, hey, that was because of life-stuff and other non-writing factors. With the two before that one, I didn’t know enough to know there was such a thing as word count constraints, so the third was the first where I had an actual cut-off. And when I started the current book, I was on fire for roughly the first 50,000 words. The curse is broken! thought I.

Cut to me now and it’s slowing again, and that damn mental record about being a failure for writing big books has started up again, and though I’m fighting it, and still making progress, I’m still—comparatively—writing at half my usual speed.

For the last book, I turned off my word count meter on Word, and for the most part, it stays off unless I need to hit a specific word count for some reason. But now, I’ve found even that isn’t working anymore. I’m still peeking glances at my word count, seeing it crawl inexorably up, and then freezing, terrified of adding even one. More. Word.

I know where I want to go, I know what’s happening next, and on the rare occasions where I fall into the writing trance and forget there even is a thing such as word count, it flows. But then comes the next day and I freeze again.
Does anyone else get this?

Also, trying really, really hard to push past my inherent nervousness of posting on Absolute Write. I’m on here every single day almost, and I never post, never talk, never think anything I say is worth putting out there… so, yeah. And I am so, so sorry for the length of this post; I can never write anything short. I am also sorry if this is not the place for this.
 

Undercover

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I have the opposite problem. I'm terrified of falling short. I always tend to write shorter and struggle with the word length. Like right now I'm at 42K in my WIP and it's going great, and I want to make it up to 55-60K but still have worried feelings that I won't have enough material to make it that far. For my past 5 novels I've written, 4 were over 60K (this is for YA so the word lengths are different) but one fell short at 45K. Which I could still maybe sell, but it makes it harder. So even though, I have the opposite thing going on, I know the terror feeling of not getting the word count right.

I think lots of us writers have issues with word counts, whether it's too high or too low. You're definitely not alone. It's a good thread to post!
 

CathleenT

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To reply first to your postscript--there's absolutely nothing wrong with your post. You aren't taking up digital space that could be used so much better by some other hypothetical poster. Your post was clear and concise--and definitely worth reading.

As regards your concern, I'm somewhat hampered by not knowing your genre. 110k+ word counts aren't unusual in SFF. In the SP world, there was a romance writer on kboards who did very well, and most of her books were over 100k. I don't know your publishing plans, but she did well enough that people envied her success (which turned into a whole other jealousy-inspired challenge) in a genre that typically clocks in well below the 100k ceiling.

So, if it's a just a matter of worrying if a long book is even worth reading...I don't want to dismiss your concern. Every fear that grabs us by the throat is worthy of discussion. Fear is paralyzing, and if talking it out helps, please do. Trust me--you won't be the only one wrestling with this problem. Others out there are probably struggling to make headway on similar issues. But if you can, I think it might be worth a try for you to dismiss your concern.

You obviously know about your process. (I cut in revision, too.) You're not just typing along, willy-nilly, with nary a care or even a real idea of what makes a story.

I get paralyzed by fear all the time. This isn't the sort of thing I usually share, but I struggle with even everyday things. Ha--wearing scarves. I love scarves. And for years I was a secret scarf admirer. I would finger them in stores, wishing I could wear them. But I'm an abuse survivor, and part of that legacy was never attracting attention to myself. I was afraid, and I was ashamed of being afraid. It wasn't until I realized this that I actually bought a book on dozens of ways to wear the silly things and started doing it. I'm talking just this past year. My New Year's resolution for 2018 was simply to wear scarves. To put them around my neck and go outside and walk around in public. I chickened out several times, but still--I asked for scarves for Christmas, and I wore my three this year, multiple times, tied different ways. Probably about 30-40 times.

Last week my husband and I went Christmas shopping, and I picked out three more. And I'm going to wear them. Maybe it's a silly victory, but it didn't feel inconsequential to me. It felt very real. The fear didn't win. The people who put that fear in me didn't win. I did.

I don't know what will work for you. I do a lot of positive self-talk, just to walk around outside with a scarf around my neck. Publishing gets...interesting.

So, look at you. Fear is trying to paralyze you, and it can't. You're moving forward, even when it seems excruciating. It's hard because you're using mental energy that you could really use someplace else, but you're doing it anyway. That's the act of someone with courage and grit. There's no shame in being afraid--only in letting fear win. And you're refusing to give in to it.

I salute you. You can do this. Push on.
 
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lizmonster

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:hi: Fellow long writer here! I think my longest first draft was upwards of 190K...or if you count the one that started as two books and got condensed to one, close to 300K. My three that were published were hacked down to ~120K-125K, and all three got longer after going through my editor, which I note because he was invested in not doing anything that'd hurt sales. (All three went out at ~130K.)

I know a lot of people who frequently seek out longer books, because they want a read that's going to take them more time. A reader who sticks with you for 90K isn't going to be bothered if there's another 30K on the other side of it. Taking five days to read a book instead of four is going to be a pleasure for them.

And I know you know all of this intellectually. Maybe this is just the way your writerly anxieties have decided to express themselves. The practical advice is always the same: finish the book, and then worry about word count. But I know it's one thing to say it, and another to motivate yourself through to the end.
 

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:Hug2:If it helps, my latest just hit 170k. ;) And that's after edits, several rounds of.

I can't write short, I don't know if I ever could, and my main worry with this latest one was that it was too long. So when my editor finished reading, I asked if it was too long and would it need to be split into part 1 and 2. In the end it really was just paranoia. Most of my other novels are from 90-140k, and I've had no issues there with readers, which my editor reminded me, lol. ARC feedback has been the same too, stressing it's not an issue.

It's hard to not worry, but on the other hand: it's okay to worry too! It helps to keep your writing sharp, so don't ever see it as a handicap. Everything we feel (good or bad) helps sharpen our style.
 

Lone Wolf

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I have a similar problem. One day I realised my WIP (first novel) was around 100,000 - and still basically the beginning of the story - a quarter in at most! I managed to cut it down to 90,000. Since then I haven't written much because I don't think I have any chance of publishing a 400,000 word first novel and I can't see how to cut it down enough.
 

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It's funny. My first (trunked) novel was 150K and I cut it down to 90K after a year and a half of editing. My current novel's first draft was 49K. Now on my third draft it's hovering above 70K.

ETA: Of course my first one was epic fantasy and my latest is...I don't even know. I'm calling it science-fantasy for now.
 
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maggiee19

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I can't write a novel shorter than 120K. It's not enough story. Right now, my WIP is at 71,000 words and I'm aiming for 100K. I have another manuscript I discovered yesterday that's at 81K and it's nowhere near finished. It's not a problem. It's great. A great deal of words will be cut anyway, though, during edits.
 

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As others have said, I definitely think you don't need to worry about the word count at this stage. What matters is that you write the story the way you feel it needs to be written. When it comes time to editing, you'll probably find a lot of ways to cut it down. Or maybe not. And that's okay. Write the story in the best way possible. While it is true that many agents and editors don't want to take on first time authors whose books have really high word count, if the story is good enough, they won't care about that word count. Or they'll work with you to cut it down to a more manageable length.

Personally, I love longer books, but I also read mostly fantasy and I want as many details about the world itself as possible. I think I'd struggle to get through a 100k+ romance book, but if it was interesting enough, then maybe? (And like CathleenT said, it has been done, so it's not impossible.)

This may or may not help with your issue, but I think a lot of authors go through cycles with their writing (at least, I know I do.) I always start off really strong with a new book, then around the 15k-25k point, I start to lag, worrying that the idea is crap. If I manage to push through that, then the next 10-20k I'll speed through with renewed vigor. And then when I hit the middle, I lag again and worry that the second half of the book isn't going to make sense with the first half (because I always change some plot or character or world-building bits halfway through.) Again, I have to struggle to push through that doubt (and remind myself that all those problems will be fixed eventually.) If I manage to make it to the climax, I know I'll actually get the book finished. I very rarely worry about the word count when I write. I'm more concerned about the story itself. But I think it's completely normal to get scared or worried by different factors throughout the writing process that will slow things down.
 

Mytherea

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To reply first to your postscript--there's absolutely nothing wrong with your post. You aren't taking up digital space that could be used so much better by some other hypothetical poster. Your post was clear and concise--and definitely worth reading.

As regards your concern, I'm somewhat hampered by not knowing your genre. 110k+ word counts aren't unusual in SFF. In the SP world, there was a romance writer on kboards who did very well, and most of her books were over 100k. I don't know your publishing plans, but she did well enough that people envied her success (which turned into a whole other jealousy-inspired challenge) in a genre that typically clocks in well below the 100k ceiling.

So, if it's a just a matter of worrying if a long book is even worth reading...I don't want to dismiss your concern. Every fear that grabs us by the throat is worthy of discussion. Fear is paralyzing, and if talking it out helps, please do. Trust me--you won't be the only one wrestling with this problem. Others out there are probably struggling to make headway on similar issues. But if you can, I think it might be worth a try for you to dismiss your concern.

You obviously know about your process. (I cut in revision, too.) You're not just typing along, willy-nilly, with nary a care or even a real idea of what makes a story.

I get paralyzed by fear all the time. This isn't the sort of thing I usually share, but I struggle with even everyday things. Ha--wearing scarves. I love scarves. And for years I was a secret scarf admirer. I would finger them in stores, wishing I could wear them. But I'm an abuse survivor, and part of that legacy was never attracting attention to myself. I was afraid, and I was ashamed of being afraid. It wasn't until I realized this that I actually bought a book on dozens of ways to wear the silly things and started doing it. I'm talking just this past year. My New Year's resolution for 2018 was simply to wear scarves. To put them around my neck and go outside and walk around in public. I chickened out several times, but still--I asked for scarves for Christmas, and I wore my three this year, multiple times, tied different ways. Probably about 30-40 times.

Last week my husband and I went Christmas shopping, and I picked out three more. And I'm going to wear them. Maybe it's a silly victory, but it didn't feel inconsequential to me. It felt very real. The fear didn't win. The people who put that fear in me didn't win. I did.

I don't know what will work for you. I do a lot of positive self-talk, just to walk around outside with a scarf around my neck. Publishing gets...interesting.

So, look at you. Fear is trying to paralyze you, and it can't. You're moving forward, even when it seems excruciating. It's hard because you're using mental energy that you could really use someplace else, but you're doing it anyway. That's the act of someone with courage and grit. There's no shame in being afraid--only in letting fear win. And you're refusing to give in to it.

I salute you. You can do this. Push on.

The current one is high fantasy, with my finish-this-draft goal being 170k (with a trim goal of 140-150k at minimum). The last one is a 140k-ish urban fantasy (I lie to myself and insist it's just a hefty 138k, but really, it's closer to 140k than 138k). I'd tried getting that one down to 120k from 156k, since I know it's so far outside the normal range of UFs, but according to betas, I apparently cut too far and too deep and am now adding back some of what I cut, just tweaked for clarity.

Thank you. Truly. I never really thought of it as an act of courage to keep going or, really, about why it was so difficult. Phrasing it that way flips it, in a way. Focuses less on failure, more on accomplishment.
 
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Richard White

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My first published novel was contracted to be between 80-100K. First draft came in at 145K. Final version after edits came in at 115K. Publisher was a bit chuffed as they had to raise the price of the book by a dollar to cover the expense of a larger book, but it sold well.

Most of my first drafts come in anywhere from 130-160K. But that's because I follow all the rabbit trails (even though I'm a plotter) and I let myself get verbose and develop conversations and relationships. Now, do I go back and hack away at that in subsequent drafts? Darn right, but sometimes that overwriting helps me get to know the characters better and helps me flesh out some of those "Third Spear Carrier from the right" characters into a neat side character.

Honestly, cutting 140K down to 100K is a heck of a lot easier than having to cut a 7500 word short story into a 5000 word story for an anthology. There, I feel I'm not just cutting fat, but I'm removing muscles and bones ... *le sigh*
 
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Mytherea

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:Hug2:If it helps, my latest just hit 170k. ;) And that's after edits, several rounds of.

I can't write short, I don't know if I ever could, and my main worry with this latest one was that it was too long. So when my editor finished reading, I asked if it was too long and would it need to be split into part 1 and 2. In the end it really was just paranoia. Most of my other novels are from 90-140k, and I've had no issues there with readers, which my editor reminded me, lol. ARC feedback has been the same too, stressing it's not an issue.

It's hard to not worry, but on the other hand: it's okay to worry too! It helps to keep your writing sharp, so don't ever see it as a handicap. Everything we feel (good or bad) helps sharpen our style.

Neither can I. I try to write short stories, but it's a pretty fifty/fifty if it'll stay under word count or morph into yet another novelette or, occasionally, a novella.

Huh. Hadn't thought of worrying that way, either, as a positive, not a negative.
 

Mytherea

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Thank you, everyone, for the replies! :Hug2:It's incredibly helpful to see that I'm not alone, and that my fears, while legitimate in the sense they exist, are just that: fear and paranoia. Though it is a little worrying to consider that this might be part, as EvilPenguin said, of my process/cycle and not constrained to just one or two books... Although, in a way, maybe that's a good thing; the whole "and this too, shall pass" mentality, since I'd then know that I've gone through this before, so I can get through it again? Need to write more books to see if that's the pattern, though. Need more data!
 

EvilPenguin

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Thank you, everyone, for the replies! :Hug2:It's incredibly helpful to see that I'm not alone, and that my fears, while legitimate in the sense they exist, are just that: fear and paranoia. Though it is a little worrying to consider that this might be part, as EvilPenguin said, of my process/cycle and not constrained to just one or two books... Although, in a way, maybe that's a good thing; the whole "and this too, shall pass" mentality, since I'd then know that I've gone through this before, so I can get through it again? Need to write more books to see if that's the pattern, though. Need more data!

It'll definitely get better (or at least, easier to deal with) with every book you write! I'm still learning not to listen to that voice that tells me to give up, and I doubt it will ever go away, but it gets easier to ignore ;)
 

WilkinsonMJ

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Reading this has actually made me feel better about my own word-count haha. Honestly though I think the content level of novels can vary so wildly and as long as you have enough in your story to justify the word-count then I've never seen it as a problem speaking as a reader. As a writer, I struggle deleting parts I know could go because there's a joke I don't want to lose or I know it'll take away from the reader's perception of character. As with all things I imagine it's just a balancing act.