How to write nonverbal communication?

LesFewer · Oct 26, 2018

Am writing this minor female character with an insufferable husband.

There are two nonverbal sounds I want to give her. These are sounds I've heard women around here make. The first is a clicking of their tongue. They do this when they disapprove of something or when they're exasperated.

Mary clicked her tongue at John when John said the puppy wasn't very bright.

The second is nasal. And women do it when they disapprove of what you're doing. The closest thing I can think of is a snort, but snort sounds masculine to me, like something a truck driver might do. In Wheel of Time Robert Jordan uses "sniff". "The women sniffed their disapproval."

John said he didn't care what Susan thought. Susan sniffed and turned her back on him.

But I don't much like "sniff" or "click". They might kick the reader out of the story.

Any idea of a better way to write these nonverbal sounds? Maybe they're best avoided?

There are two pretty common nonverbal sounds that I remember seeing in books from time to time, "pfft!" and "hrumpft" or something like that. Both of these sound like they're more masculine. These are the only two common ones I can think of.

mccardey · Oct 26, 2018

Fortz said:
Am writing this minor female character with an insufferable husband.

There are two nonverbal sounds I want to give her. These are sounds I've heard women around here make. The first is a clicking of their tongue. They do this when they disapprove of something or when they're exasperated.

Mary clicked her tongue at John when John said the puppy wasn't very bright.

The second is nasal. And women do it when they disapprove of what you're doing. The closest thing I can think of is a snort, but snort sounds masculine to me, like something a truck driver might do. In Wheel of Time Robert Jordan uses "sniff". "The women sniffed their disapproval."

John said he didn't care what Susan thought. Susan sniffed and turned her back on him.

But I don't much like "sniff" or "click". They might kick the reader out of the story.

Any idea of a better way to write these nonverbal sounds? Maybe they're best avoided?

There are two pretty common nonverbal sounds that I remember seeing in books from time to time, "pfft!" and "hrumpft" or something like that. Both of these sound like they're more masculine. These are the only two common ones I can think of.

I would avoid them - feed the disapproval into your word-choice instead. I'd also be just a bit cautious of assuming masculine/feminine attributes too freely. You might think something is or sounds masculine, but your reader might not.

Hope this helps

indianroads · Oct 26, 2018

mccardey said:
I would avoid them - feed the disapproval into your word-choice instead. I'd also be just a bit cautious of assuming masculine/feminine attributes too freely. You might think something is or sounds masculine, but your reader might not.

Hope this helps

I agree. Word choice and non-verbal communication vary person to person, without regard to sex.

Mary grunted her disapproval when John said the puppy wasn't very bright.

"That's fine." Her steely gaze sucked all the warmth from the room.

Roxxsmom · Oct 26, 2018

Snort doesn't come off as particularly gendered to me, though it always makes me think of the sound a horse makes, which is considerably louder than what we can manage with our noses. Sniff conjures up a different kind of sound--a gentle whuff of air, rather than an explosive one.

I've heard that "tsik" sound some people make with their tongue against their front teeth referred to as "tooth sucking." That might be cultural, though.

An alternative to using "go to" terms for these sounds would be to simply describe them, or even to give an onomatopoeia (like, "She made a 'tsik' sound with her tongue," or, "she 'whuffed' at him through her nostrils."

You could also just write, "She exhaled sharply through her nostrils, making that reverse sniffing sound some class-conscious people make to denote disapproval."

A lot of it is down to style. Some people disapprove of "go to" descriptions of noises, or of metaphors describing mannerisms or actions, but many writers use them with great success.

MaeZe · Oct 26, 2018

For what it's worth, I've never heard or heard of women making these sounds.

BethS · Oct 26, 2018

The clicking sound you're referring to is usually written as "tsk." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tsk-tsk
She tsk-tsked her disapproval.

A snort doesn't have to be masculine sounding. It can be a soft snort or a gentle snort.

mccardey · Oct 26, 2018

BethS said:
The clicking sound you're referring to is usually written as "tsk." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tsk-tsk
She tsk-tsked her disapproval.

A snort doesn't have to be masculine sounding. It can be a soft snort or a gentle snort.

I know some pretty loud lady-snorters, just saying...

MaeZe · Oct 26, 2018

BethS said:
The clicking sound you're referring to is usually written as "tsk." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tsk-tsk
She tsk-tsked her disapproval.

A snort doesn't have to be masculine sounding. It can be a soft snort or a gentle snort.

Tsk is a "clicking" sound? I can't make my mouth 'click' no matter how I try when I say tsk.

I wonder if it's like the yanni-laurel phenomena?

D. E. Wyatt · Oct 26, 2018

Maybe I'm weird, but sometimes I'll actually put 'tsk' in dialogue.

MaeZe · Oct 26, 2018

D. E. Wyatt said:
Maybe I'm weird, but sometimes I'll actually put 'tsk' in dialogue.

Why not? I consider it more of a word than onamonapia. But others might rightfully see it differently.

LesFewer · Oct 27, 2018

Yes, it's "tsk". Thanks all.

Once in a while my wife will unleash the dreaded tsk, eye roll combo, which translates to "you disgust me, I am now dismissing you."

Follow up question, "eww" is in the Cambridge dictionary but it's not in other dictionaries. What do you think about using it?

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/eww

"Eww," she said, "dog vomit."

ap123 · Oct 27, 2018

If it works for the character, use it. It's dialogue, everyone will understand what's meant by eww, so it doesn't matter if it is/isn't in every dictionary.

BethS · Oct 27, 2018

MaeZe said:
Tsk is a "clicking" sound? I can't make my mouth 'click' no matter how I try when I say tsk.

I wonder if it's like the yanni-laurel phenomena?

Well, as onomatopoeia, it's maybe not the most accurate of representations of that annoying little sound. :greenie

But it's the closest we've got.

BethS · Oct 27, 2018

Fortz said:
Follow up question, "eww" is in the Cambridge dictionary but it's not in other dictionaries. What do you think about using it?

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/eww

"Eww," she said, "dog vomit."

Why not? Other writers have.

neandermagnon · Oct 27, 2018

The clicky one - I'd call that tutting. The nose non-snort one - I'd call that huffing. I wouldn't use onomatopoeia, I'd just say "she tutted" or "she huffed". Huffing is probably less standard and may refer to the general demeanour and not just the sound.

Aggy B. · Oct 27, 2018

I don't use "tsk" but that's the standard if you want to write out "tutting" (as Neandermagnon put it). I do recall finding "Tut-tut" in books before, but I think that was kind of non-standard and has fallen out of fashion as it did a poor job of communicating the sound in question.

I tend to use "egh" or "huh" as an onomatopoeia for a huff. (And "huu" for a sigh.) But some editors have disagreed with me there so YMMV.

Agree that sounds are rarely masculine/feminine in actual application, but literature does tend to attach certain words to certain genders. (I.E. Men yell, women scream/shriek. Even if the sound in reality is the same.) So, know your readers as you look for appropriate language.

Harlequin · Oct 29, 2018

the things listed in this thread are verbal communication...

Titus · Oct 31, 2018

There are many ways to use non-verbal communication. Drawing from your own life may help. I'm sure we've all annoyed someone at some point. Did they cross their arms? Hasten their speech while looking elsewhere? Tap their feet.

I'm concerned you might head into cliche territory by relying on grunts and growls. The most insufferable people make us feel like we aren't listened to or refuse any attempts to get what we need out of a conversation. Not all people are universally irritating or not. For instance, after my commute I don't want to deal with any request, even the most basic things. Those are more irritating to me despite being more objectively reasonable. I'm aware of this but that doesn't change the irritation. I'll sometimes snap or be very brief with my husband.

How to write nonverbal communication?

LesFewer

mccardey

indianroads

Wherever I go, there I am.

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

MaeZe

BethS

mccardey

MaeZe

D. E. Wyatt

MaeZe

LesFewer

ap123

Twitching

BethS

BethS

neandermagnon

Nolite timere, consilium callidum habeo!

Aggy B.

Not as sweet as you think

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Titus