Past tense vs present tense internal dialogue in 1st person. Professional?

I know everyone's different, but every time I read about someone using a different style than mine, I wonder if I'm doing it wrong. For the life of me I can't figure out how I want to write internal monologue. I've been rewriting my third draft into it being past tense to keep up the flow.

Originally it was in present tense:

I pulled my lips thin. Okay, now you’re getting on my nerves. I’ve already had to wait for you, like, twice. Don’t make this about you.

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and

The chairs called. I could curl up in one. Go to sleep. Forget about my problems.

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Now I've edited it to past:

I pulled my lips thin. Okay, now she was getting on my nerves. I already had to wait for her, like, twice. Why did she have to make this all about her?

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and

The chairs called. I imagined curling up in one. Going to sleep. Forgetting about my problems.

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Is there a difference? I keep changing how I want it to be done. In one draft it's present tense, in the next it's past tense. I feel like I'm losing something (maybe personality) by changing it to past tense. But I like the past tense version better. Is one thought of as the "professional writer way" and the other the newbie way?

I feel like I'm not as advanced and as good of a writer if I use it in past tense vs present and I really don't want to rewrite all of the thoughts when I finish this draft because I've changed my mind.

I love how different all these answers were.

Dennis-- glad for your opinion. I'll keep this in mind for anyone who wants to use italics.

indianroads said:

However you choose to do it, be consistent.

I personally don't like italics for internal thoughts as they make the text look too busy. Instead, I use italics for emphasis; internal dialogue is just regular text.

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Yeah, me neither, but I respect those who do. For some people it works, and for others it doesn't. @Dennis, Glad for your opinion.

benbenberi said:

I agree with indianroads, excessive italics make the text look busy and cluttered so if you're doing a lot of internal dialog and direct thoughts I would stick to the plain text, not italics. Italics or not, however, it's still important for readers to be able to distinguish narrative from thought. IMO the edited versions are clearer on that point so I prefer those. But this is one of those aspects of style where you have a lot of freedom to experiment and find your own way.

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Oh good. I'm so glad you liked the edited versions. I was afraid they were clunky, not clear.

Harlequin said:

Free Indirect Style! Emma Darwin (as ever) has a great article on this here

TLDR, it comes down to nuance of psychic distance in most cases.

I don't use italicised thoughts for any reason, but that's my choice.

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I've never heard of Free Indirect Style, but suddenly everything makes sense. I read the whole article because this was something I needed. I'm so glad you found this article.

Harlequin said:

I love her whole site! (I swear, she doesn't pay me to advertise, I really am just a fan.)

My CPs do tend to use italicised thoughts, but they also tend to write in third person.

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I'm going to have to look more on her site. I have never seen another writer do an article on Free Indirect Style before. Is this style popular?

maggiee19 said:

This is how I do it.


Anna thought, this isn't gonna work out.


No italics.

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Thanks!

Anna Spargo-Ryan said:

I don't mind either option for your second example

The first one I'm not sold on, but I think it's just the length. Three sentences and I start to feel like you've switched tense without realising.

I'm also mostly in the no italics for thoughts camp.

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Okay, that's what I was thinking with the first option. The switch to second person felt strange.

Roxxsmom said:

I like #3 better than #1. #2 and 4 are just different ways of accomplishing something. A lot of the choices you make will be about the kind of tone and immediacy you're shooting for. Is your narrator in the present, talking about something that happened a while in the past, or is he/she talking about something as it unfolds, or just a few seconds after it unfolds?

One problem I have with #1 is that it reads sort of like you are going from narration to direct thoughts, something one generally doesn't see in first person (since everything is a direct thought). When it's done (more commonly in third person) the direct, verbatim, present-tense thoughts should be in italics, imo.

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Thanks for your thoughts on 2 and 4. I was wondering the same. And I'm glad you said (Bold) because it's next to impossible to find anything on internal dialogue on the Internet for first person.

MaeZe said:

Internal monologue doesn't need to be excessive when you are writing first person narrative past tense. Italics have their place. Dialogue has quote marks, internal monologue has italics and narrative is narrative.

Present tense narrative is fine, lots of writers are using the technique. I'm not skilled enough to use it. In past tense narrative I want to insert internal monologue and distinguish it from the narrative. Those thoughts are in present tense like the dialogue is.

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Yeah, I don't think I'm ready for present tense either. I was reading present tense novels when I wrote a lot of my story, so I have to be careful when editing.