I've put everything I have into writing for so long, and I'm starting to lose faith that publishing is ever going to happen for me.

My first book, I submitted to 100 agents, who all said no. I worked on that book for over a year, getting it beta read, revising it, posting chapters on forums, reading books about writing, etc. Finally, I sent it out again and after about 100 more rejections, I realized it was time to move on. (I had about 12 requests for this book, btw.)

For my second book, I sent it out to 50 people and got two partial requests and one full request, which all turned into nos. I realized I was just repeating the same pattern, so I decided to get an MFA.

Halfway into my MFA, I sent a different book to 15 agents and haven't heard anything. It's a nonfiction and I don't have a strong platform, so I don't know if I need to keep working on it, or if it was always doomed because of the platform problem. I've also sent a children's book to about 40 agents, with one request for a rewrite that turned into a no.

I'm not ready to give up yet. I haven't even finished my MFA, or revised the book that inspired me to get an MFA in the first place. But I'm just so tired. When the student loans are due, I'll have to figure out a way to pay them, which probably means getting a real job instead of being a stay-at-home mom, and I don't see how I'll have time for writing.

I'm just at the point where I'm wondering if instead of putting everything I have into this, maybe I need to make it more of a hobby. Maybe I need to start living a life that doesn't necessarily have to include being published. That might sound wise, but how to I step away from the only thing I've ever wanted?