bored.....hmm, a little smuttiness

quicklime

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not usually a poetry guy but dabbling to make myself write more

In the dark
I feel your skin
And slowly, I press
Deep within

I feel you clenching
As I ache
What I need, and want,
I take

Until you shudder
beneath me
And finally release
Violently

And come, and twist
And bite your lip
And I pull out,
To just the tip

Before I plunge
Back in anew
And empty deep
Inside of you
 
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William Haskins

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i can't escape this nagging feeling that there's a sexual undercurrent to this...

it jumps around a bit, from primal desire to clinical description and back again and could benefit greatly from metaphor.

good on you for making a run at it.
 

quicklime

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yeah, well, my mom didn't like it either.....some super-critical bullshit about it being appropriate for her birthday card, and stuff :-(