A Question of Time

mselephant2015

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Okay, so I was wondering if anyone could help me figure things out.

I've written a book set over the course of a college year. Halfway through the year, something happens and the story tells what leads up to this event and it's consequences. So the event happens in the May and the story goes like this;

Chap 1: May 2016 (the event)
Chap 2: September 2015 (beginning of school year)
Chap 3: June 2016 (after event)
Chap 4: October 2015

And so on and so forth. Each chapter is about 4000-5000 words. Now, to me, it reads fairly logically. It makes sense to me. But I don't know whether or not that's because I'm so close to the story that I just know where I am by instinct. Originally I asked my mother to read the manuscript while I sought out betas and she said that, while she liked the story, she didn't like how "the book kept swapping back and forth". Disheartened, I shelved the manuscript and vowed to come back to it after I'd reworked a different book. I've now finished that rewrite and have come back to this manuscript and am facing the same dilemma. I've since asked a close friend who writes reviews for the genre and age I'm writing for and so far her response is positive.

So I'm just wondering if there are any among you who've written similar and made it work or what your thoughts are in general? I'm always open to rewriting, as I've already rewritten one book, but I'm reluctant because I've put a lot of effort into this manuscript, checking I didn't give the plot away at any point and making sure there were always revelations along the way to the finale. To be honest, I like it as it is. If I put it all chronologically, I'm not sure it would work as well. The reader would know everything that was going on (and why) by mid point.

So if anyone has any opinions, please let me know! The only two opinions I have are mine and my mother's and my mother isn't really my target audience, so while her opinion is valid, it isn't 'her' thing so... oh, I'm rambling! Thank you for your time <3
 

Maryn

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The obvious question that comes to me is, Why is it better told out of order?
 

mselephant2015

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Well. The way it's written currently leads to the reader to different conclusions at different points. So in the beginning, you think 'ah, she's with him, so he's the bad guy'. Then as the story moves on, it's revealed it's a different guy, so you think it's him. Then, by the end, you realise it's not him at all. Whereas if I put it chronologically, you'd know from the first chapter who it was and why. It could be done that way but it would require a full rewrite or it'd be a very poor story.

EDIT: No, that's a lie. You wouldn't know from the first chapter. From about chapter three.
 

rgroberts

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I think you can make it work, but the most important thing is making sure that the reader knows what point in time you're in at any point in the story. I've read out of order books that I've enjoyed. On the other hand, it is very frustrating for a reader not to know what time period they're in. Do you have the chapters labeled? If so, I'd try a few other betas and see if they feel the same way about the story. Some people just don't enjoy stories that flow out of order, and your mom just might be one of them. You seem to be on that track already by reaching out to another friend. See if the majority of your betas think the story works fine before you get discouraged.
 

fenyo

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I don't think you need to change what you want to do because one person told you they don't like it, even if it is your mother.

writing out of order is very hard, and it is very hard to do it well. that is why not many write this way.
also, there are many readers that don't like this kind stories. but that is fine, you will never write things that every one like.
I think it is more impotent that you write what you like, even if no one like it, but that is a different problem.

I personally like stories that are different and written in an unusual way. so I hope you go back to the idea of writing a non linear story line.

good luck.
 

mselephant2015

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I have labelled each chapter with its date, to try and aid this, but I think you're right. It was considerably harder to write than my first book, which is in chronological order, and it took a lot longer, as I had to keep going back and making sure I was adding the right info but not too much of it. I had graphs xD That's why I'm reluctant to change it and, yes, disheartened to think it might not appeal, because I am so proud of it. But if tweaking it makes it more appealing...and yet it wouldn't be the same...I don't know. This is why I'm here!
 

Ellis Clover

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What's your genre? Lots of mysteries and thrillers are written like this, for exactly the reason you give - information needs to be drip-fed in a fairly precise, non-chronological order to generate tension, set up red herrings and lines of suspicion, and conclude with a powerful reveal.

I've always enjoyed books that take this approach, as long as they're well-written (obvious caveat). My first book, while not following your exact template, employs a number of flashbacks to slowly reveal the antagonist's motives, with the final pieces of the puzzle dropped (in a hopefully very devastating way :D) into the climax. I also used dated headings for clarity.
 

mselephant2015

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I'd say probably NA - they're at college, so just past the YA bracket and below the Adult one. Thriller NA, perhaps. There's a lot of who did what and when and why and, I admit, it's not the easiest to follow.

I've thought about what you've all said and realised I forgot to add something, which is probably quite important; there are three points of view in 1st. I asked a teacher friend of mine to look over the first few chapters and that was something she pointed out. Between the swapping timeline and the three POVs, it was hard to keep up. So I've had a re-think and I'm going to try setting it out chronologically, with the POVs in 3rd, and see how it rolls. Fingers crossed. Thank you everyone, I feel like I've found a path again.
 

benbenberi

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Presenting a story in a non-chronological order, jumping around in the timeline, is definitely a thing that can be done well, and that many writers have in fact already done. For some stories it may be a very effective way to get the effects the writer wants. (Though in my experience it works best in a character-driven, literary type story, not so much in a purely plot-based context where it comes across as a bit gimmicky.) As you've discovered, it does present a number of technical challenges. But that alone is no reason not to try your hand at it if you think it can enhance your story.
 

Harlequin

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NA is an age category, not a genre.

It's also a mostly dead category, and never had any traction out side of romance genres.

Probably just adult thriller, or adult mainstream.

I would find a good adult thriller which uses that structure and see how they handle it. My understanding is that thrillers have a very tight structure and a number of genre requirements (similar to how romance has certain rules).
 

mselephant2015

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I'm awful with my genres, it's something I need to work on understanding. I was researching a little this afternoon and I'm now torn between thriller and drama. Probably more drama. Definitely not romance though. But, yes, I am leaning towards adult, having also been researching the age categories and finding little in terms of NA.

It is a character-driven story, rather than a plot-driven one. Writing a plot-driven one is my next challenge.
 

indianroads

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Check out David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas, or Ghostwritten for a good examples of a shifting timeline done well.