All-female environment

greendragon

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My biggest female-boss problems (I'm female as well) were such:

1. Female Executive Syndrome: When a woman finally achieves an executive position in a male-dominated field (this was the Oil & Gas industry) she thinks she needs to be a hard-ass bitch in order to be as good as her male colleagues. At least, this was true of my boss. She had a department of three professionals under her (finance) and that group went through 20 employees in 10 years. I lasted 2 years. Other employees that had succeeded in transferring to other places within the company had similar stories to mine - badgered, hounded, yelled at until they were brought to tears or quitting.

I got along FINE with her on a social basis outside of work. But in work, my stomach clenched every time she bellowed my name from down the hall.

At one point during my stay, enough complaints were made that HR called in an outside agency to evaluate her, getting interviews and questionnaires of 20 people who worked for, with, and over her. She was counseled in the end to make some changes (she didn't). Finally the company put a known misogynist directly over her, and a couple months later she was escorted from her office in tears, fired.

2. My way or the Highway. Small CPA office. Owner, three accountants, a secretary. One of the accountants was a very beta male (also husband of the other accountant), the rest female. Boss required that females wear dresses or skirts at least 2-3 times a week (I hate both. I prefer pants, but she insisted). Makeup and jewelry was required. Pantyhose. Attendance to church for clients' weddings/funerals, etc. She knew I wasn't Christian or Catholic, but still insisted.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh, and my new boss (not for long, transferring away) basically said last week that maybe I should think about divorcing my husband. ?!?!?!!?
 

Morning Rainbow

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Boss required that females wear dresses or skirts at least 2-3 times a week (I hate both. I prefer pants, but she insisted). Makeup and jewelry was required. Pantyhose. Attendance to church for clients' weddings/funerals, etc. She knew I wasn't Christian or Catholic, but still insisted.
These requirements sound illegal to me. I'm pretty sure the EEOC would have a few things to say to your boss if they knew this was going on.
 

greendragon

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EEOC only applies to a 5-person company in terms of equal pay for equal work across genders. None of the other provisions apply for a company so small. Luckily, I no longer work for her! I now work for a 40,000-employee company who is very strong in equality and employee rights.
 

Masel

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I'm wondering what the OP mean by a lack of rich history in women's only environment. I went to an all girl high school that is over 100 years old now. While we certainly had our clicks and arguments it seemed useful for us to let our hair down in an academic environment. I always thought of myself as quiet but when I went to a coed university I had no trouble answering in class. My work history was balanced gender-wise so nothing is standing out in my memory. Now that I'm a stay-at-home parent (who has been trying to write) I find myself in female dominated activities like the PTO and scout leadership. I'm delighted that there are some men involved in this stuff and am impressed that there is a lot of get-it-done and little posturing.
 

efreysson

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I'm wondering what the OP mean by a lack of rich history in women's only environment.

I meant that it's only recently that the military, politics, academia, most workplaces and religious institutions stopped being boys' clubs.
 

softmanifest

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I have worked in many all female environments, from a professional dance team, to a clerk at a retail art supply store.
To me it seems it always comes down to how the women feel about other women. When women are supportive of each other and non-competitive (for male attention, approval, or otherwise) I've always felt safe and accepted in all female spaces. There is a sense of support, community, and understanding in these spaces that is wonderful.
BUT, when women are restricted by jealously, competitiveness, and constant comparison, it can be HELL. Constant gossip, passive aggression, subtle jabs, feeling always observed and judged, hated for no reason (Just because you have/look like/act like something that they want to be). I eventually had to quit my job at the art supply store because my boss was so emotionally insecure she would reprimand and threaten me with firing me every single day. She would get extremely insecure when customers liked me and would snoop on me to find out personal details about me she could use to her advantage.
Terrible situation.
I think men and women are both equally effected by the toxicity of the harsh polarity of gender roles and expectations. But open minded, kind and compassionate women are some of the most wonderful people to be around imo.
 

lizmonster

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I meant that it's only recently that the military, politics, academia, most workplaces and religious institutions stopped being boys' clubs.

That depends on your definition of boys' club, really. Women have always participated in all of these areas, albeit not usually proportionally. Historical erasure, however, is extremely common, and ongoing.
 

Siri Kirpal

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Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

If you count the vestal virgins and similar, women in religious institutions go back a very long way.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal
 

shadowsminder

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... wait, your superiors were... trying to control your social life?

Maybe it's my autism at work here, but I can't make any sense of that whatsoever. That seems about as logical a use of time and effort as trying to eat a brick.

I can guess why, but that would need a guess as to why they thought their reasoning made any sense. :Shrug:

One of my terminations was particularly awful. I'd worked for a year to improve my departments relationships with the rest of the organization. The HR rep helping with the paperwork was clearly baffled about what was happening and kept asking if I knew why. The manager wasn't required to give a reason. HR drew stood with me when the manager also attempted to strand me in a major city, hours from home, without warning, for no apparent reason. She had to allow me transportation back home but a made a fuss about it. That was frightening.

(Footnote: So-called "Right to Work" laws are terrible.)
 

Crayonz

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I agree with what others have said, there's really not that much of a difference between male & female-dominated areas.

I'm going into nursing, which has men, but still very female-dominated, and can tell you that they do just as much posturing and abusing as the men do. It's not uncommon for critical care nurses to make snide remarks about floor nurses because they feel floor nurses don't work as hard and aren't as capable (not true, it's just two different types of patients). Oh, and woe be to you if you say you've been having a bad day 'cuz another nurse will swing by and tell a story about how she's had even worse days and blah, blah, blah. The female nurses yell at each other, gossip, demean each other in front of patients & co-workers, though rarely physically fight. The field is known for the term, "nurses eat their young," which is a pretty way of saying nurses bully each other, especially new graduates. Every nurse I've talked to said to just expect to go home crying on a regular basis for my first six months of working, partly because the job and partly because senior nurses can be merciless. Not every hospital or unit is like that, but the field does have quite the reputation.

If I've learned anything from being in the military & now nursing, it's that people are going to be people. Sometimes they're nice & supportive, other times they'll happily sell your soul for a Klondike bar. :Shrug:
 

frimble3

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I've spent 25 years in a workplace that has gone from mainly male, to mainly female, and, as I see it, the chief differences are that men are likelier to get physical, while women go for psychological warfare.
There are people who don't fit into one category or the other, but I've never had to break up two women wrestling around on the floor, and I've never had a man drive another to actual tears in a carefully calculated program of verbal bullying.

On the other hand, guys seem better at having their fight/yelling match and being done with it, while women pick at each other, on and on. (Which is, in my estimation, way harder to combat, because so much of it isn't visible, and all to easy to pass off as a 'joke' or a 'misunderstanding'.)
 
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