Dialogue/Beat/Dialogue/Beat

I'm an amateur and don't know. I had always thought the beats are added where they are appropriate--if the pastor pinches his lips between his utterances, that is where you put the beat. The story is told in order.

I hadn't heard the guideline you identify, and I always like to know the 'rules' so I looked into a recent purchase (Fifth Season, hugely successful novel.)

After flipping through a few pages, I see a fair amount (maybe 15% of paragraphs that contain dialog) of dialog-beat-dialog but only one instance of beat-dialog-beat-dialog and no instances (in my short flip-survey) of dialog-beat-dialog-beat.

I see more paragraphs of dialog-beat than anything else, and the beats are fairly long. Sometimes the intervening paragraphs are mere thoughts or beats (very short, too) from the other character. In other words, I see:

dialog-beat
unspoken response
dialog-beat

...and now wonder if a dialog-beat-dialog-beat was broken in two to fit the guideline you are asking about.

I would say that this only becomes problematic if it's a fixed, repeating pattern with no variance at all. There are certainly moments in any conversation where dialog-beat-dialog is just the natural rhythm of that exchange. But once you start relentlessly repeating that pattern, refusing to entertain any other type of dialog rhythm, now you're forcing your dialog to stick to unnatural patterns, and agents and editors will certainly "ding you" for that.

It's just like anything in writing. Here and there is fine. But if you insist on sticking to it and nothing else, you'll run into problems from readers that want more variety.

I use that all the time. I also do dialogue / beat / dialogue / internal reflection.

I think don't stress about it to much it's easy to get caught up in the small things but no publisher worth anything would reject you for a few odd sentence structures here and there.

I would say, be wary I'd advice that dispenses absolutes ;-) If someone says "never" do something they're likely being too hard-line.

Oh, and you might want to post or transfer to the Ask the Agent forum.

Redredrose said:

I would appreciate any comments and/or suggestions on, not how to edit this, but whether publishers accept this beat/dialogue presentation.

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I see nothing wrong with it. I've done that kind of thing myself. Plenty of authors do. The idea that publishers are going to complain about it is untrue, IMO.

Why would it conceivably be unacceptable to publishers for a writer to do something that's pretty ubiquitous in published fiction? The question puzzles me. Where does this idea even come from?

It's puzzling for sure, and would seem to be something that would fall under the 'make sure you don't overdo it' category to me.

I flipped through Fifth Season again and finally found one instance of dialog-beat-dialog-beat (bottom of page 313), two more instances of beat-dialog-beat-dialog and more instances of dialog-beat or dialog-beat-dialog which Jemison seems to like a lot.

So in this case of this book, the construction under question is present, but infrequent.

Without beats dialogue can sometimes seem like a core dump. Everyone I know speaks in beats.

Perfectly normal construction.

It should be totally acceptable provided the whole thing flows, and the beats contribute to the flow and understanding of the dialogue as opposed to distracting by drawing attention unnecessarily to themselves.

I see nothing wrong with what you've posted, and I'm a fiction editor as well as a writer. Lozano's speeches and actions are bunched in one paragraph; you start a new paragraph for the other character's reaction, then another one when Lozano replies., just as you should.

You didn't ask for editorial comments apart from that issue, but sorry, it's in my DNA. Too many beats. Combine or cut.

Running for the hills.

This is truly a "Trust your feelings, Luke" matter. There is no formula, no cookbook. Trying to be formulaic about it is a quick way to create an irritating repetitious document. The very best thing you can do is pay attention to how a variety of good published writers handle dialog and absorb that into your writer's bone marrow.

caw