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How To properly punctuate conversations?

Bajungadustin

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I know this is a basic question but I have been looking for a solid firm answer on this to know what I should shoot for. I'm currently using a distraction-free writing software and doesn't correct things. I plan on doing all of that later.


However... If I can avoid some of the editing processes later by performing more accurate punctuation now then I'm down for that.
Spelling and Grammar were my worst subjects so any advice would be great.

Here is an example of a conversation in my novel. So feel free to pick it apart and let me know what you think about word choices and the like but I'm mostly interested in punctuation.

"That is one nice chest!" Ashley said looking awe struck at the intricate decorations on the chest.

Sam who was looking at the chest with the same expression without taking his eyes off of it bluntly stated,
"Thats what he said."

"Shut it!" Ashley hissed at him half annoyed but still too curious to take her eyes off the chest.

David sat the little chest down on the coffee table and fiddled with the the top and the sides looking for a way to
get it open. There didnt seem to be any obvious hinges or a lid even.

"I don't see any way to get it open" David said frustrated.

"Let me see it." Said sam reaching over and taking the chest from David.

Sam exampine the chest at eye level. He turned it over and examined the bottom muttering to himself as he did.
He examined each surface carefully. He shook the chest back and forth and an object could be heard thumping
around inside.

"Ok." Said Sam holding up the box in the light. "What we have here is a puzzle box."

He continued to flip the box over on each side pushing his thumbs on each surface until he finally heard a click.

"Found it!" Sam said excitedly.
 
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Anna Spargo-Ryan

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This isn't a crit forum so I'm not going to critique your word choices, but your dialogue punctuation is mostly right. You need a comma after '... get it open' so it becomes "I don't see any way to get it open," David said, frustrated. (You also need a comma after 'said'.) And, you need a comma after 'Ok' – "Ok," said Sam ...

You're missing lots of commas in other places though. As in, you have none and you need many more than none.
 

Maryn

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We've got a properly thorough thread on that. Check this out.

It's important to get this right; acquisitions editors are likely to reject anything with the dialogue incorrectly punctuated and capitalized. But you know it's a weakness and that's a start. All that's left is learning it.

Maryn, sure you can
 

DarienW

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Here's a link to several very thorough articles about your question. Lots of situations covered, including nuts-and-bolts.

There's tons of blogs to check out that are super helpful and inspiring about many topics.

http://theeditorsblog.net/?s=dialogue

Welcome to AW!

:welcome:
 

Bajungadustin

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This isn't a crit forum so I'm not going to critique your word choices, but your dialogue punctuation is mostly right. You need a comma after '... get it open' so it becomes "I don't see any way to get it open," David said, frustrated. (You also need a comma after 'said'.) And, you need a comma after 'Ok' – "Ok," said Sam ...

You're missing lots of commas in other places though. As in, you have none and you need many more than none.

thank you for this. I did see after i posted this a moderator sent me a welcome message and explaining the site and about the "Share your work" sections of the site that require 50 posts before I can do so. Thats fine, I was just unaware of that.

Thank you for the comma help. Im pretty sure those you mentioned were oversights.

I did read somewhere that if the way a person said something is included in the conversation tag that it should be a comma. Such as.
( "No," screamed Anna, "I didn't do it!" )
vs if someone just says NO... you would punctuate it like a sentance.
( "No." said Anna, "I didn't do it." )
and alternatively you never put anything else than elipsies if the person gets cut off mis sentance.
( "No, I..." Anna stopped, "It wasnt me." )
 

Bajungadustin

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We've got a properly thorough thread on that. Check this out.

It's important to get this right; acquisitions editors are likely to reject anything with the dialogue incorrectly punctuated and capitalized. But you know it's a weakness and that's a start. All that's left is learning it.

Maryn, sure you can

This is gold... Thanks.
 

Anna Spargo-Ryan

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thank you for this. I did see after i posted this a moderator sent me a welcome message and explaining the site and about the "Share your work" sections of the site that require 50 posts before I can do so. Thats fine, I was just unaware of that.

Thank you for the comma help. Im pretty sure those you mentioned were oversights.

I did read somewhere that if the way a person said something is included in the conversation tag that it should be a comma. Such as.
( "No," screamed Anna, "I didn't do it!" )
vs if someone just says NO... you would punctuate it like a sentance.
( "No." said Anna, "I didn't do it." )
and alternatively you never put anything else than elipsies if the person gets cut off mis sentance.
( "No, I..." Anna stopped, "It wasnt me." )

:) Happy to help!

The links above are so good, but to address these specifics ... the advice you've been given isn't quite right. You should never have a period when you have an attribution afterwards. It doesn't matter what the attribution is. So:

"No," screamed Anna.
"No," said Anna.
"No," whispered Anna.
"No!" cried Anna.
"No?" queried Anna.
and even
"No," Anna hissed.

If you're describing the way the person spoke, or an action they did while speaking:

"No," Anna said sadly.
"No," Anna said, looking at the cat.

Also, use a comma after the attribution only if the sentence continues. So:

"I'm tired," said Anna. "Let's go to sleep."
"The only thing left," Anna said, "is a roast chicken leg."

There are other ways to cut someone off, too. You can use an ellipsis, or you might use an em-dash.

"No, I ..." Anna stopped. "It wasn't me."
"No, I—" Anna stopped. "It wasn't me."
 

JohnLine

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"That is one nice chest!" Ashley said looking awe struck at the intricate decorations on the chest.

Sam, who was looking at the chest with the same expression without taking his eyes off of it, bluntly stated,
"that's what he said."

"Shut it!" Ashley hissed at him, half annoyed but still too curious to take her eyes off the chest.

David sat the little chest down on the coffee table and fiddled with the the top and the sides looking for a way to
get it open. There didn't seem to be any obvious hinges or a lid even.

"I don't see any way to get it open," David said, frustrated.

"Let me see it," said Sam, reaching over and taking the chest from David.

Sam examined the chest at eye level. He turned it over and examined the bottom muttering to himself as he did.
He examined each surface carefully. He shook the chest back and forth and an object could be heard thumping
around inside.

"Okay," said Sam, holding up the box in the light. "What we have here is a puzzle box."

He continued to flip the box over on each side pushing his thumbs on each surface until he finally heard a click.

"Found it!" Sam said excitedly.

I'd also change all the "said Sam"s to "Sam said"s. The writing's not bad, but you'll need to figure out comma use before submitting it anywhere.
 

nickj47

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It can get more complicated. Note the use of commas and caps.

"Try this on for size," her friend said, "and ignore the color for now."

or

"Try this on for size," her friend said. "Ignore the color for now."

or

"Try this on for size," her friend said. "Ignore the color for now," she added.

chompers is right, it's all about what's outside the quotes. Important to remember that quotes always end with a punctuation mark. If not a period, question, or exclamation point, then a comma. And never a period if the quote is followed by a dialogue tag. I'm sure all this is covered in the link Darien posted.
 

Bufty

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Reading dialogue in books of the type you wish to write is also a pretty good way of finding out how to punctuate it.
 

BethS

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Here is an example of a conversation in my novel. So feel free to pick it apart and let me know what you think about word choices and the like but I'm mostly interested in punctuation.

Most of the issues I saw had to do with the tag "said."

When it follows a dialogue sentence, it is not capitalized and the dialogue should end in a comma, unless a question mark or exclamation point is used. Modifying phrases should also be set off by a comma. Like this:

"OK," said Sam, holding the box up to the light.
"I don't see any way to get it open," David said, frustrated.

Also, be aware that you don't have to use a dialogue tag (such as "said") every time. You can identify the speaker through action:

"OK." Sam held the box up to the light.

Notice that the dialogue sentence now ends in a period.

Of course, you can answer your own questions by studying how the dialogue punctuation is handled in published books.
 

blacbird

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Reading dialogue in books of the type you wish to write is also a pretty good THE BEST way of finding out how to punctuate it.

Edited in the interest of precision.

The same principle applies to a lot of other similar craft construction issues.

caw
 
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AmericanaPrime

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Thanks, very helpful response here, I get tied up on this peridically as I write my first fiction novel.
 

gjb817

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"That is one nice chest!" Ashley said, looking awestruck at the intricate decorations on the chest. [Describe the chest.]

Sam, who was looking at it with the same expression, said bluntly,
"That's what he said."

"Shut it!" Ashley said, half annoyed but still too curious to take her eyes off the chest.

David sat the small chest down on the coffee table and fiddled with the top and sides, looking for a way to open it. There weren't any obvious hinges, or even a lid.

"I don't see any way to get it open," David said through gritted teeth.

"Let me see," Sam said. He reached over, taking it from David. He looked the chest at eye level. He turned it over and meticulously scanned each side. He shook it back and forth. An object could be heard thumping around inside.

"Okay," Sam said, holding up the box in the light. "What we have here is a puzzle box."

He continued to flip the box over, pushing his thumbs into the [name the material of which the chest is made of] until he finally heard a click.

"Found it!" Sam said, pumping his fist in the air.

***

I copied and pasted the excerpt into the Quick Reply and edited it as it should look, along with a few improvements. There were a few mistakes:

Punctuation: Commas must go at the end of a line of dialogue, always in cases when "said [character's name]" follows. (Example: "Let me see," Sam said.) Also, you forgot apostrophes on the contractions. You also missed many necessary commas. Brush up on your comma rules.

Word choice: You repeat "chest" too much. I suggest finding another word to describe the container throughout the scene. You also used many adverbs when a better verb could replace it. Avoid adverbs; always try to find a better verb. Adverbs can come across as lazy, like you didn't take the time to find a better word.

Show, Don't Tell: When writing fiction, it's a common rule to describe things vividly. This gives readers the feeling of being in the scene with your characters, rather than simply reading about them. To accomplish this: show, don't tell. (Example: Instead of saying, "Sam said, excitedly," you could say he "pumped his fist in the air." This shows readers how Sam said it, without just coming out and telling them how he said it.)

In closing, one of the most important aspects of good prose is vividness. When you describe the chest as having "intricate decorations," what kinds of intricate decorations does it have? I want to envision this chest. It doesn't have to be a paragraph; just a sentence or two. When Sam is inspecting the box and he presses his fingers into it, describe the material the box is made of. All these things give readers an accurate perception of the scene and put them in the room with your characters. This is a key factor in holding the reader's attention and makes for good storytelling.

I hope this helped. Good luck with this project! If you need any other assistance, shoot me a PM.
 
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