Paralyzed with anxiety

You're not too old. My belief is that you're never too old to do anything as long as you're still breathing. There are writers on this board who are just starting out who are much older than you.

I have two types of anxiety disorders so I feel your pain. What is different for me is that doing things for my books don't bother me unless it's something way out of my comfort zone. I am fine with doing things online but not with doing things in person because I have severe social anxiety. I feel for those like you who can't even deal with the online stuff. I've seen some writers say even communicating with people online is too hard for them. That can make promoting your books extremely difficult.

First off let me say your mental health is more important and if this stresses you out to the point where even your physical health might be affected, this isn't something you need to focus on. You're already fragile and this seems like it would put you over the edge. I know the feeling. Yes, you do have to have a platform for nonfiction, definitely. Sorry to say that mostly no one will be interested in a memoir especially if you are not famous or have some type of following. Memoirs are extremely hard to sell and they tend to want to publish memoirs about folks who people have heard of. Since you did say you had two published memoirs then maybe that could help you get your foot in the door if they sold well. Were these memoirs published by major presses or well-known independent presses? The quality of the publishers matters greatly when using past publications as a way to get an agent or publisher.

Can you write fiction? If so, then that's an avenue that might fit you if you don't wanna do the platform stuff. You still have to promote but you don't have to engage as much as in nonfiction. With fiction, you can hire a personal assistant or virtual assistant to promote your work and do what you can't. Some hire publicity firms (if they can afford it) but that to me is a waste of money. Whether you go with a publisher or not you will still have to promote. You'll have to do something. The trick with you is that you have to work harder to find something you are comfortable with.

I suggest trying to do some things online little by little and see what you might enjoy. There are many ways to engage people but social networking right now is one of the top ways to connect with readers. You did say the stress wasn't worth it for you so that's your answer right there. If it's not worth it then don't do it.

Life is too short. If it's making you more miserable than happy at this point I'd ditch the memoir. You could always self-publish it and not promote it but it won't sell but if you just want to get your words out there, that's a way. Or how about starting a blog and just blog about your adventures for free. I agree that if this is just stressing you out, you need to move on. As someone with anxiety disorder, I know that focusing on mental health is of the upmost importance because if you don't have that you have nothing.

Unfortunately, the world has changed. No longer can a writer just sit alone in their cabin in the woods and write and send everything to an agent and publisher to handle everything from that point. These days no matter how you publish, an author has to do more than that if they expect to sell.

Good luck to you and hope things work out with whatever you choose to do.

Also, your trip sounds exciting!

freelancemomma said:

Question is, do I need a platform to get an agent or editor interested in the first place?

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With non-fiction, this does tend to be the case these days, yeah. For fiction writers (I'm in this camp) usually all that's required is that there's a bit of social media engagement, a website where people can go to look up more information, and possibly a willingness to attend actual real-world events. But with non-fiction, particularly for books that require a certain amount of credibility/expertise, it's often more important to have that platform, such as a popular blog, YouTube channel, existing audience from a recurring column in a publication relevant to the audience, followers on social media, that kind of thing. I'm not sure how much that translates to something like memoir writing, which is a very different beast from typical non-fiction, but in general, non-fiction agents always welcome it as a positive sign when there's already evidence of a platform place.

With all the social media today, there is an overload of personal experiences. Everybody is online, everybody is sharing. Whatever you want to tell in your book, it's already been told by several different people. So the publisher will need for you to stand out somehow in order to be noticed. If they simply advertise "hey, we got a book by this older-age person doing young-person things", most of the readers will just shrug and go back to their ipads, facebooks, instagrams, blogs, youtube etc where they can watch several dozen older-age persons doing young-person things. It's not enough for the publisher just to say your experiences are interesting and the book is great to read. There's too much of that out there already, everybody touting their own stuff. You, the author, will need to go out there and do your part. The audience will need to see you in person. It doesn't have to be twitter but you need to be willing to talk to the public in one way or another.

People don't want memoirs? News to me, if the memoir is interesting. If so, sell it as a 'travel journal' or such. Trouble is you've got to have a finished manuscript to show, or at least quote.
So, you're confident in public, doing interviews with real people, but not fond of social media, and you're in Toronto, the media hub of Canada? Can you get a list of people you've been on-air with before, who would give you the air-time now? Ditto journalists, etc. Did anyone like your previous memoirs?
Lots of places to give talks about books by local authors.

frimble3 said:

So, you're confident in public, doing interviews with real people, but not fond of social media, and you're in Toronto, the media hub of Canada? Can you get a list of people you've been on-air with before, who would give you the air-time now? Ditto journalists, etc. Did anyone like your previous memoirs?

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There's also this. If you live in Toronto anyway, and you're totally fine with traditional media, as well as actual, in-person events, then exploit this. Take advantage of Word On The Street when it rolls around and stake a table, try to participate in events they might have going on at the reference library, take advantage of whatever arts/literature thing might be happening on Spadina/Bloor or any other Annex related event, since it always seems like there's something going on down there every few months.

I have a feeling Eat Pray Love, while technically non Fiction memoir was marketed as Women’s Fiction. Once you exhaust the Memoir agents just fluff it up a bit for Contemporary Women’s.

freelancemomma said:

Thanks for weighing in, Treehouse.
Now I have a new source of paralysis: I Googled my second book and the only remaining professional review online is a bad one. (I'm talking newspaper and magazines, because it was published in 2001. I had several good reviews, one mixed, and one bad.) My first book won an award and has a stronger presence online, but I think that any agent/publisher considering my current book will do the basic research, find that bad review, and take a pass. Any thoughts on this?

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I doubt an agent will care about a bad review on your previous book. What they will be more interested in is how your books did and who published them. If I were you, I'd gather up all the info you can about your sales and who published the books because this is a part of your platform and agents will be interested to know you've already been published and especially if the books did well. I am not sure if it will sway them either way but it might impress them that you've had other memoirs published.

Also, if you are comfortable with the public stuff (most writers aren't) then if I were you I'd pound the pavement and build a platform that way. You can do public talks, try to do interviews on local TV and radio, start a Youtube channel about your adventures, network with other industry professionals and writers at different events and network with other travelers who have written memoirs and books. I'd look up as many as I could find and see who has published them and who their agents are or perhaps get together with these writers.

It's wonderful that you are so comfortable with the in-person thing and that can be an advantage because you can talk up your book and create buzz. Also, if you don't have one already make sure you have a killer website featuring your previous books and highlighting your travels with pictures if possible. That would really get readers interested in your book and probably impress agents as well.

If you take on any of my suggestions, write down everything you do so when you contact agents, you can show them what you've been doing toward your platform.

Good luck!