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Seeking beta reader for 15k fantasy novelette - willing to swap.

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Soliloquill

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Hi :)

I've been hoping to get some feedback on Child of Blood, Man of Metal. I don't have a query for it (wasn't sure if you compose such for novelettes, being new territory for me), so I have included the first couple pages for you to peruse. If you're interested, send me a PM for the complete story. I would be more than happy to take a look at someone else's project in return. As a reader, I prefer fantasy and generally stay in the adult category. Also, please note that I am not a fast reader and I like to be concise. Okay, here's my bit:

Ralian’s friends watched as he stepped up to where the grass ends. His heart drummed into the silence. He counted the handbreadths between sun and horizon. Two hours to make it home on time. Two hours until he got reamed for this trouble in the making, so he might as well save his ass by an inch where he can and get it home when Mom says. That woman could sniff out lies like winter does the north. Hell, truth by omission has a smell to her.

Ralian stepped out onto the hard, blackened earth beyond the grass. A collective gasp from his friends sent his heart racing. He sighed and sent a glare back at them. He knew better than to feed into their fear. What did a bunch of kids know about draconian burial site rumors? Every small town has adolescent night-scares, and it’s up to the local hero to dispel that nonsensical crap. But his father had other non-hero things to do, so Ralian was practically the next best thing. Well, not really, but that’s what they’ll say. One day. Today?

He pushed down the mounting dread and took another step. His strides grew wider. Cheers rose from the crowd’s whispers. After fifteen minutes of walking and the voices having faded away, Ralian came to a splintered wooden shaft driven into the black crust. Hints of a sharp edge and gleaming surface somehow told their secrets through the dusty grave.

Facts soften to rumors between mouths and generations, but they always kept one report the same: a broken halberd stuck into the middle of the field. He looked around, his smile sagging at the lack of people to share the moment with. His friends had been right—about this part, at least. His heart quickened at what else they had all been right about.

A bundle of dried flowers hung from the teeth of broken wood. A simple gust would have undone them, but Ralian could sense that the wind never came here. He reached out, touched a fingertip to a dead petal. Wind started up above him, bearing down in measured gusts. Ralian squinted into the overcast sky. At first, he saw nothing despite the fanning sound. There. Golden eyes glaring out of a white face. He was wrong. The wind did come here. If something brought it.

That something was a dragon. As it twisted to land, it sent into motion a wave of blue rippling over its back. Every movement started up a new surge of cobalt before going white again. One of the flower heads fell when the dragon landed. Ralian raised his hands in earnest.

“Naaammme…” the dragon enunciated. It wasn’t looking at Ralian but at the flowers. If a dragon could look worried, this would be it. Ralian shook his head.

“I just wanted to see if the story was true. I didn’t mean anything by it!”

“Got it.” The dragon snatched the back of Ralian’s shirt.

“No! Come on!” He tried to fight out of the dragon’s front claw but wound up tangling himself even worse.
 
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